Who Am I ? akiss2desire is a Bible Belt Blogging Bi Big Beautiful Babe who has been sharing her writing, mostly 1st person lesbian erotica, short stories, poetry, and lesbian pop culture realizations from both the experience and fantasy perspectives to an ever growing audience. I recently passed a million page views ! Thanks for the nominations for the Lezzie awards honoring best lesbian erotica on the web.

Those who have come here regularly know that I have taken a bit of a hiatus from posting and publishing, but my past work is still here and if you are new here there is much to be consumed. I am working on several stories right now and writing from the same mix of experience and fantasy that readers have told me they loved.

Those stories will be the foundation of my upcoming compilation book. Today, you get to read for free. Welcome, and I hope you stay awhile.

Sunday

Akiss2desire - Lesbian Dear Abby :)



Girl talk ..something I admit I don't get much of anymore....I really miss the open girl talk from high school and up to my early 20's.  It hasn't gone completely away, but the girl talk I used to love is non-existent to me.  One of the things I told a friend in high school is that she was my "sexual confessor."   We told each other about every every everything that happened ...it would take more time to tell what a boy did to us than probably the actual event LOL.  I think the readers of my blog are now my  collective "sexual confessors."  

A sweet and sincere girl whom I will call “Marie” asked me for advice and lend my “2 cents worth” on her situation. Hers is a relationship, and as I chime in I realize that I have not yet had a “normal” lesbian relationship because so much of my life is in the shadows.  I like when I am consulted by readers and trusted by women I have only met through my words here. But, my real world lesbian relationship experience is most definitely not typical, so that must be known.  But, as in the case of this particular lady, so many lesbian women feel they have nobody to talk to about this stuff.


Is it normal for your nipples to hurt after they get sucked on?
But the Girl Talk...I like the bonding.  If I can I will be someone who will listen and weigh in with what I know, especially about sex.   ..I have three good perspectives on lesbian sex ...first is the real experiences I have had (and hope to have more of ) ..second is the near semi-obsession I have with lesbian sexual subjects on the internet ...and the way I have filtered it.  In fact, I think that I am no longer offended by the “sex is all you ever think about” accusation, because it is something I have to own now.  I have ready the definition of nymphomaniac over and over and considered that it’s a term I can’t escape from, whether or not the nymphomaniacal me is in spirit or in practice. .   And now, with more than half a million lifetime hits on this website, I think I can claim that I am at least a “popular” lesbian blogger.  But, my how I have grown as a lesbian erotica writer in these years.  If anyone goes back to my first year of writing on the blog, I worked hard not to use the dirtiest words...I wouldn't even write the word "pussy" ...finally, a published writer who became a mentor  caught on and after I submitted one of my stories she didn't think the “using polite words”  was such the endearing quality I thought it was.  So now I say pussy pussy pussy pussy LOL.   It is what it is.  

So Marie states
So, I think I mentioned that my girlfriend is my first relationship. Well, she's my first everything. She was my first kiss (other than kissing boys as a little kid), everything we do together is my first, and hopefully my first sexual partner. Now with school coming up, it’s about to be a long distance relationship.  She's been in one other relationship, which was with a girl.  She had sex with this girl, and has done other stuff with guys (not sex), but no relationship with them..  
Okay, first question: How did you know you were ready the first time you had sex? I didn't want to go all the way with her because I thought it would be harder for us to be apart. The next time I can see her is for one day in March and then in the summer. I might try and drive down to her this weekend, but that's 5 hours and when I go to school it will be around 10. So now, I'm regretting not doing it when we were together. I talked to her about it and she says it's okay. Actually, what she said  was really sweet. 


Something to know is that she is experienced...so likely there was enough about the experience to continue to pursue love and sex with someone like you   One of my first thoughts is that if you are a virgin ...she is waiting for YOU to give her the go ahead for whatever is next ...it probably means what you both have is pretty deep.

I don't know what she said that was really sweet ..but again...clearly this is a deeper than just sex relationship for her and also for you.  It sounds like you KNOW that there is alot more to this kind of love than the whiz bang of climax...more about that later. 


I feel really confused because I don't feel like I have a strong sex drive. I'm worried that I'm not actually going to be able to do it, to go down on her or let her do it to me. I might not even get off, which she'll notice... I have a lot of anxieties about the whole sex thing, mainly not knowing what to do..
I think you know that if you talk to me about this ..and I am the one you are talking to besides her ..that as long as she says its ok for YOU to choose when you are ready, then THAT is the thing.  There is something you said which is why I DO feel qualified to give advice ...you say you won't know ..or don't know if you will know what to do...well...When you are in the "bubble" with someone you make love with, there is just almost no doing it wrong.   The things that can get in the way are things like incompatibility ..I am not compatible with someone who wants to go at it rough for one example, and there are plenty of others. But ..when there is kindness, compassion and caring for your partner...you are most likely to give totally and receive equally.  If this process is proceeding slowly with you, I think thats normal...a first sex experience can happen in one night...but it can also proceed over the course of a few times together as you get more comfortable with each other ....familiar.  


There are only two things that get me excited. One is when she sucks on my ears and the other is when she moans. She was rubbing herself against me in my car (tribbing I guess?) and I got so turned on, same when I am on top of her rubbing my thigh or hip into her clit.  Nothing makes me want to fuck more than hearing her moan into my ear. Well, except maybe when she says "God I want you", "You drive me insane" and "mmm fuck" LOL. But that's all. I'm not terribly excited when she touches me, like I don't think about it leading to sex. I guess I just like hearing her.

Well first of all..thats a very honest, and quite erotic paragraph ...vivid .  You describe two things that are right at the top of the list for me.  Feeling her reaction to what I am doing to her ...and in this case...you describe to me that the act of making out with you is apparently doing it quite nicely for her.  It sounds like she is getting off getting you off...and that sounds alot like something I can relate to. On your side...telling me how it gets to you to hear that means to me I think you are in the moment ...so let me get to something you asked..when do you KNOW the time is right ...well...to me...the time is already right for all you are doing ....whatever comes next is a matter of everyone's comfort zone..and accept that if that comfort zone isn't right to either of you...it doesn't need to be forced.   Let me add that it sounds like you are understanding that PART of expressing your closeness to her ...you think..should involve sex....TALKING with her ...not only in notes or on phone or chat...but also in the act ...helps you both get to the point you both want to get to ...and compromise happens in life both in and out of bed. 

So second question. Is it normal for your nipples to hurt after they get sucked on? They didn't the first time she did it, and honestly I didn't get much pleasure from it. Could she have just done it too hard? She did leave some pretty dark hickeys that night elsewhere....hahah

Do tell her to try more gentle ...what works for her or the other woman she's been with doesn't work for her.  My example for this is that I DO understand that most women like penetration more than I do...while a finger or two will do at the right moments with the right lubrication..I just do NOT desire some of the more intense penetration that I know women usually enjoy (there have been exceptions to this though)..so in this I am a giver when I know thats what she needs...but if she surmises that I want that too, I have to tell her in some way that I am not like that...through body language, or whispered words.  With any lover ...communication helps and to whisper gently when she begins ..or...even...telling her in advance ...is to your advantage and wil be appreciated long term by her.  Yes ..some things in sex cause soreness ...and for some tolerance is higher or not.  For me, a little soreness where you mentioned is trade off for what I was enjoying ...but yes...I have had a woman be wayyyyy too rough with me and was so selfish I don't think she had a clue.  "I love the way you love me ...but please...no marks and ...a bit more gentle sometimes and help me to know what YOU need to get there for us both."    Explain that you are both new at this ..at least as a twosome...and you want to walk a long journey with her that is already wonderful and promises to be better each time you meet. 

That's all for now, but if I do decide to visit her this weekend, do you think you could help me figure out how to make a move on her? I think it'll be hard to not be that intimate for so long, but now I'm thinking the regret is harder to deal with. She says it was okay we stopped, but I know how much she wanted it. You can tell. I mean, I've gone without sex my whole life, but that feeling of being desired is so powerful....
I cant tell you when to "go" but ...if you feel the urge its ok to move by looking in her eyes and tell her "if we are going to pick up where we left off ...we need to catch up to where we were before don;t we ...and didn't it start with a kiss ?"   and take her lips against yours and let things happen the way you both shall be lead. 

.So..this is my two cents worth.   KNOW that sex with anyone is a risk.because you are making yourself vulnerable  to all kinds of feelings and the highs are soooooo high, but the hurt can be just as stark.  MY hope for you is for your mind and soul and heart ever more so than the orgasmic experience which may or may not happen ...but can be wonderful if its what you both want.


What advice would you give to the Marie's of the world ? and to ask me anything (Your identity will be secure) write me at akiss2desire@gmail.com

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