Who Am I ? akiss2desire is a Bible Belt Blogging Bi Big Beautiful Babe who has been sharing her writing, mostly 1st person lesbian erotica, short stories, poetry, and lesbian pop culture realizations from both the experience and fantasy perspectives to an ever growing audience. I recently passed a million page views ! Thanks for the nominations for the Lezzie awards honoring best lesbian erotica on the web.

Those who have come here regularly know that I have taken a bit of a hiatus from posting and publishing, but my past work is still here and if you are new here there is much to be consumed. I am working on several stories right now and writing from the same mix of experience and fantasy that readers have told me they loved.

Those stories will be the foundation of my upcoming compilation book. Today, you get to read for free. Welcome, and I hope you stay awhile.

Tuesday

Feel The Passion


I lean to her ..she leans to me
softly-"you smell so good."
softly "so do you"
we kissed
"...ive been waiting forever for you to do that" she reiterated
"why didnt you tell me?"
"what took you so long?"
I peck at her lips,, "i dont know....but i dont want to stop"


feel the passion :)


I wish you'd never forget by ~madamMichaela on deviantART

Thursday

I like when you call me that ...

I had zeroed in to that doorknob....waiting for it to move...staring at it and urging it to turn ..and finally it did as you entered my room almost sneakily.  No words as you approached, but you took your jacket off to reveal  the dress you wore at the party you left early to come up to this room and be with me , and your incredible breasts and cleavage revealed in the soft light were so lovely I elicited an audible sigh, which caused a slight smile upon your soon to be kissed lips.

The five minutes I have been naked and awaiting your arrival since your text that said "I'm on my way up baby," felt like five hours.  I can hardly catch my breath now that you are here.   I had missed you so much since you spent around 10 minutes getting me settled in the hotel room and told me you'd cut out of your company's holiday party early so we could have our night together.  I didn't mind being your secret.  I had bathed luxuriously in the executive suite's jacuzzi, gotten bored with the tv quickly, touched up my makeup, dabbed perfume,  and settled upon the softness of the sheets and pillows of this room.  A simple country girl like me had never seen it this good.   I was impressed, and planned on doing whatever you wanted me to do when you arrived.   I knew when you got back from the party it was to be our time.  I had mulled over how I should greet you when you returned ...in the suite upon the couch in the nightie I brought, in the clothes I arrived in perhaps, or, as I eventually decided, in bed, nude, wet, horny, and ackowledging that we were both there to fuck.   As you had written in your email, "I can't wait to spend the night sucking your juicy pussy."

"How was it ?"

"Drunken assholes making asses of themselves more by the minute. I couldn't wait to get out of there."

"I missed you ....alot."

"I got out of there as fast as I could...I'm even a little earlier than I told you aren't I ?"

"Is this ok ?"

"What."

"That I am in this bed ...waiting for you ...wanting you."

"Is it ok ?   It's my dream come true."

You sat down in the hotel rooms comfortable chair a few feet from the head of the bed.  You disengaged our mutual gaze to slip your red heels off.  Untucking your white blouse from your red skirt, a white lace push up bra conceals your nipples, but the beauty of your ample breast is evident.

"Did you have a drink while I was gone ?  Or two ? " she said making a hand gesture towards to bar where she had told me to help myself to as much as I wanted while she was gone.   Making conversation as she stripped down.

"I did ...Captain Morgan and I are old drinking buddies."

 I had visions of climbing of the bed and devouring  you on that chair.  But you stood up and off came the skirt, but left the slip on.  You looked at me and exclaimed "You have the most incredible eyes I have seen in so long."   Out of the chair, you come to me and knelt down next to the side of the bed I am on about midway where you softly grasp my hand which us clasped upon the top cover of the bed.  You gently stroked my hand and then lifted my hand to your lips and began to suck my fingers...middle first, then the ring, and twirling your tongue around my pinky, then finishing by closing your eyes sensously and sucking ---actually closer to fellating ...my index finger in long up and down strokes.  It felt so good with your warm mouth, and had my mind wildy dancing to wonder what would come next.  I was on fire for you, and you still hadn't even french kissed me ..the quick peck before you left for the party helped me understand and trust you ...just a feel I had for you...and now you were giving me incredible sensations with your mouth and tongue ...your experience showing, and my inexperience lending credence to the vulnerabilty I felt in my being and with every nerve ending of my skin ...even in my bones I was at your lesbian mercy and in as submissive state of mind I had ever been with with any lover. 

After you sucked my fingers, you pulled my hand to your breast ...so soft.  I saw in your eyes when contact was made there how much desire you had and how good that felt that your desires were so astoundingly obvious for me.   You unhooked the bra and my fingernails grazed over your skin and your nipples as the straps and fabric fell  down over your shoulders and with a soft tug from my fingers, down to the hotel room carpet.  The absolute most beatiful nipples I have ever seen responded to my fingertips touch of kneading and soft pinches.  You went from stroking my wrists and forearms while I did this to over top of the blanket grasp both of my breasts.  How quickly my senses were becoming overwhelmed with all the sensations our heat was producing.

I knew before I said it that I would be sounding like a "bumpkin" but I said it anyway.  "You sure know how to treat a woman."   I meant it in a first date way, and I meant it in a way that had a subtext of submission to wherever she was going to lead us.   "You make me feel like I'm a teenager," I said honestly.   You replied, "I am so taken with you too.  This is going to be so wonderful for both of us."  We spoke as we caressed each others breasts.  "So I hear you love to eat pussy," she said ...."I understand we have that in common," I replied.  "I can't wait."

You lifted yourself up, turned around and slithered out of the remaining fabric upon you, and nude now you first sat upon the bed and I looked up at you.  ...then you quickly lifted the coves to expose me, your eyes drinking in the site of my breasts and with your mouth agape in a breathless gasp, told me "how marvelous" my tits looked.   I wanted them sucked right then as the colder air of the room stiffened my nipples and drove me to a higher desire.  You started to lay next to me and I scooted over to allow you room to get under the covers.

Then you rolled me to my back and looked down into my eyes ..then to my lips your eyes went and you lowered yourself to me.   Our skin now touching and mushing together at our sides, and then the sensation of your lips.

Your lips so soft.  Deep, powerful kisses from us both with wide open mouths and warm slithering  tongues.  Each kiss topping the one before it even more passionate.   You were causing me to say things I didn't care if they sounded dumb or not...but they were things I had never said before.  But felt right ..and true.  "You make my pussy burn with your kisses," I panted.   Sucking on my bottom lip now, you broke it and said " I wanna suck that hot, juicy pussy."  Not ever one to have done this kind of dirty talk before much, I blurted out something that felt right ...."You want my juicy pussy," and at the "yes" you murmured into my mouth into the next french kiss, I said when our lips parted, "want my hot cunt," and you reached down, lifting my breast..then diving to my breast, sucking with a medium aggressiveness upon my breast and my nipple and as I strained not to shriek in delight, you whispered "hot cunt."  I answered back, "hot cunt,"   and you said "are you MY hot cunt ?"  "I'm your hot cunt."   Your hand upon the breast you weren't sucking now squeezing quite hard as if to leave an imprent ..and squeezing outward towards the nipple then being pinched lightly, then much more firmly "hot cunt" you said into my tit and with a noticable increase in anxious desire.   Your lips released my nipple and my pussy was gushing for you and awaiting your imment touch.
You then lifted up and honched over me and my eyes couldn't look into yours for a moment cause gosh...I never dreamed of this feeling going through my body.  Your long dark hair fell upon my shoulder from above, and as i looked away from you...I took your hair into my mouth and simultaneously lunged my hips up into your thigh so that my wet pussy lips would kiss your skin and you could feel how badly I wanted you.

And then you said to me the most sexy, the most romantic thing any lesbian woman said to me in the heat of our desire.  "I want you to know that  want to do everything with you...at all once...but of course...not possible...so tonight...like this. all the other ways for all the times to come....because I want you to always be my sweet, hot cunt"

"I'm your hot cunt."

"My sweet, wet, burning ....hot ...cunt."

And in case there was any doubt...."keep calling me that ..i love it when you call me that," I told you.

One more deeply passionate kiss and I knew you were to devour me in moments.  I was ready to come right then.

"I want you so bad," I said as your mouth sucked in my right breast and nipple hard enough to leave a mark and make a sound as the air slipped between your lips, and you even gulped as if you were drinking my skin in. 

"I'm going to make this juicy, hot pussy come for me all night,"  you said as you began to kiss your way down my belly towards my undoubtedly steaming vagina.   I think I loved you at that moment as much as I ever loved any woman.

You slipped two fingers inside me on your way down ...everything a blur  but I most remember contractions of the muscles around your fingers, the twisting and writhing of  uncontrollabe of my...and the high pitched noises that accompanied each orgasm, while I either looked down at you in the soft light sometimes to see that I believe I had finally, FINALLY met a woman who loved to give head to a woman as much as I always had.   Your face contorted with the most incredibly beautiful eyes in the throes of each of my poweful orgasms.

Sweetly but forcefully, you spent the next hour  wearing me out ..inside and out i am completely spent but i dont want you to stop.
And when it came to for my mouth upon your pussy, I asked you to do something for me.  I wanted to suck it from underneath, laying on my back.  "Will you ..umm..." and I couldnt say the words "sit on my face"  So I guided your thighs towards me and slid under you and explained  "...so I can eat you from down here " 
Without anything being said, you might have thought you had to do this for me... something in me let that be ok for now.  I wanted you too badly to give you any possible chance of backing out just yet.  I remember my mouth latching on to your clit with my lips and the tangy, slightly sweet smell of your wetness. Your pussy captures my tongue inside you and releases it gently.  I pull you into this kiss upon your mons, or do you push your luscious lips into mine to invite my tongue to continue to penetrate you and slide up onto your stiff button.  Your love to drink your thighs upon my cheeks and shoulders.  The shudders of your pleasure engulf my soul.
That lesbian fire in me that had dissapeared like a ghost ..now has come raging back through every fiber of my being thanks to the inspiration of your beauty. your way, and the honor of your affection.  I cant give you enough with my mouth but I try.
This is the heart that has been beating only for you today ..yesterday ..last week and last month ...and wishes to beat for your forevermore.

Tuesday

Another Unsent Lesbian Love Letter

Hey ladies.   One of my most read posts and one I still get emails about still even though it's ancient is called "A Lesbian Love Letter Unsent"   While I work through my fantasy / reality writers block and deal with a very busy schedule,  I found the inspiration to write another Unsent Lesbian Love Letter.  She, is real ...but she is long gone from my life ...an opportunity that might have been something more if I had sent something like this.  

Another Unsent Lesbian Love Letter


I've been wondering for the last month if and when I was going to share this with you, and whether or not it would be in a talk, or in a email, or a phone call or what have you.  This very moment, here at 1:32 am and while the wolf is leaving me alone for a minute, I think I am giving in and writing you a letter about some feelings and emotions and even more I think that I just can't go another day without saying in some form to you.  So upfront, please let me apologize to you about doing this in email ...I am not able to say what I think I need to say here with whatever words would come out of my mouth (*and whatever word would be left behind) if we talked this out when we are done.  


I almost told you when I said to you "I've got some deep dark secrets but not as bad as that girl," when we were talking about that newspaper story, and when you told me I could tell YOU what those secrets were, I ALMOST just spilled all of this there ..but the time wasn't right, and what I am about to write will either brings us much closer together, or could push us completely apart ...in which case I wasn't ready to deal with that reaction face to face.  And I already told you that when we went that month without speaking after our fight, I experienced pain I don't want to experience again ...as hard as that pain was is as much as the joy is that we have rekindled our friendship so wonderfully.

And, knowing your schedule as I do, I know that when I hit send on this email, I know you will be alone (pretty sure), your phone will chirp, you will read this mail, and I will sit here, alone, waiting for you to either email back, or call me to talk about it.  Yep ...it's a big deal ..so hear goes.
  
Lisa,  we are  two hearts  so closely tied together and we share both immense compassion for each other ...and to just come right out and say it, I have  this constant desire ...lesbian desire ...yes ..lesbian "wanna go down on you and make you come all night" sexual desire, which, as I write this and the tears well up in my eyes from the honesty,  I pray you share for me as much as I have desire for you.  As I write this and know I am about to send what I just said there, I honestly have no idea if you are going to say "I knew it all along," or if it was a big shock that I just wrote that ..just admitted that ..just poured my heart out in honesty 

I remember how I fashioned those words a month ago.  "Yes, I've done it with women and it felt right at the time, and if the same circumstances were there again I'd do it again."   Yes, I wanted to say that to get you thinking, and I had two needs when I told you that ..ONE ...that our friendship not be altered in a negative way ..and I have noticed that you have not reacted "weirdly" to me at all since then ...but two ..was a hope that you would right then and there say that you wanted me (which of course you didn't) or that you would give the thought of "us" together and find a way to tell me.  As I write this, I have got to admit that I believe there is at least a 40% or 50% chance (I'm such a math geek)  that you are going to write me and tell me how completely heterosexual you are and that the thought of lesbian love has never even crossed your innocent mind.   On the other hand, if I didn't believe whole heartedly that there is a spark between us, I wouldn't be taking this chance with this letter.  

SO ...maybe its coming clear now ..but if it's not ...I'm alot LESS of a woman who experimented with bisexuality you might have thought about me, and it turns out,  alot MORE of someone I believe the term for it you have used is "A big lez."  

And ..with a major ..MAJOR crush on you.   

I just cannot resist staring mesmerized into the soft color of your eyes, when we lock gaze, I am under a spell I don't care to be released from.  These times lately when I can look into them and tell you are so upset, I just want to hold you so very tight, kiss your tears away and make you know how much I am always going to be here for you.    So. the sisterly closeness,  my dear, is how it is with us ...thats what girlfriends are and what girlfriends do and would do no matter what.  I love having that with you and you know I say it all the time. 

Here is the problem..or maybe not a problem at all.  

At those times lately when you are so vulnerable because so many things are going on that I can't seem to solve with just a hug, I am looking deep into those eyes of yours and seeing the pink blush on your cheek, and wondering if you realize how much I am not wanting to stop at just our comforting embrace.   When we hold each other tight those times, I feel you holding tighter too ..and I am relishing every moment of feeling the softness of your breasts against my beating heart, and I rub my own against your chest almost like a cat comes up purring against its masters leg.  I just know you feel it and I know there is a sexual charge between us, but I also know that some women just "can;'t go there" and so ...you know, at least until this letter, I haven't dared push it.  See, at those times I hold you it is ALL I CAN DO not to lower my lips to yours and devour you with the most passionate kiss I could ever give.  It is ALL I CAN DO not to lower my lips to the tenderness of your shoulder and your neck and start to softly suck on you there.  And Lisa, it is ALL I CAN DO when we are close and I am observing the roundness and fullness of your breasts not to just come right over and take them into my hands, lifting their weight and massaging each one while seeing the reaction upon your face and gauging your need.   I have been close to you lately when I cant turn off the thought of taking your nipples into my mouth and having your breast against my cheek and your soul dancing with mine. 

I am so attracted to you in so many ways, and it is so deep that I can't just resolve my feelings and emotions for you with a little kiss or a small confession.  Like so many "drama queen" things about me (about us both) I need you to know that this letter says to you that in case you ever wondered if I had just a teeny crush on you (I'm sure you had probably figured out  I'd "do you" by now) that it is SO huge and here I am blathering about it and surely knowing this very letter changes everything between us.   As it changes...If you don't run scared for the hills...it changes now, at your pace.  THIS is my big statement, and now, we go at your pace. But know where my heart and my lust is.  I am so ready to take you to somewhere you will never return from, and might not ever want to.   The pleasure I long to give you with my body and soul, my lips and tongue and all I know, is something quite from another universe .  Not just once ...not just one night ...I want you behind closed doors to open yourself to me and let us thrive and blossom into an orgasmic mutual bliss of me giving all I can with all I have to you.  

Call me and tell me you hate me and you never want to speak to me ..and I will accept that ...knowing by writing this I threw our friendship under the bus ...but satisfied and able to sleep at night because I couldn't keep it inside any more.  
OR
Call me and tell me you won't fuck me but you will still be my friend...you'll have to buy me KFC if thats the call you make. LOL.
OR
Call me and tell me you cant wait for me to devour your body, your breasts, your nipples and your warm wet treasure with the wholeness of my complete passionate soul.  Tell me how fast or slow to take this as we jump together into this lake of sharing our sisterly love to do whatever we may do in secrecy behind closed doors where nobody needs to know what  we can mean to each other.   Call me and tell me you are ready for this with us ...the next level, emotional, sexual, and trusting.  Let me give you my everything in bed and in my spirit.  Call me and tell me you will allow me.

Friday

A Lesbian "How I Miss That"

I wanted to write an essay ..a blog post if you will ..called "Gawd I miss that."

It has been for me now 400 plus days since my lesbian sexual liason.  In my "double life" that I lead as a small town married mom who has realized that "bisexual" is no longer the term that describes me, for as a woman who had come to call herself "lesbian"  in her heart, mind, in blogs and in confessions to befriended fellow travelers, I have come to accept that "Lesbian" for most women is a lifestyle.  My lifestyle is decidededly NOT lesbian. It is small town christian married mom, and thats something that doesn't lend itself to the "lesbian"
 that I know I truly am.   But for me, at least for now, lesbian is what I am in lust (not just daily, but minute to minute), in bed with all my passion (but not there in more than the previously mentioned 400 plus days) and in masturbatory fantasy (not nearly as much time or privacy as I used to have.)

So ..with many changes in my life, the lust builds and builds and builds.  And yes, there have been chances to get my face wet, but those have not felt right or haven't panned out, or especially lately, have not come close to having the time or freedom to explore.  And yes, it makes my heart hurt, and yes, I accept the emails from those who say "just come out honey, it will be allright."   I think I will get there ..I've been close to it a few times.  Til then I will keep carrying the weight.

But Gawd I miss that. 

The response of her tongue in that first kiss ...the mutual melting ...the holding each others weight up for the knees that weaken in torrid embrace ...oh how I miss that.
When I pull up on the laptop any kind of lesbian porn that has me believing they aren't so faking and acting, and one womans eyes flare at the other in surprise of what was done by lips or tongue, or when  her eyes roll back in sheer pleasure ....I KNOW what thats like, I have made women feel that before, and yes, Gawd I MISS that.

When I remember times when a lovers  nipples stiffen at the flick of my tongue, soften when I suck, and poke outward again at the gentle graze of my teeth, gawd I miss that. When a soft skinned, free of body hair, large breasted woman plops directly on top of me and begins to writhe, either kissing me, sucking my earlobes, gnawing my neck and skin meshed against me -breast to breast, thigh to thigh, let's me know how "into me" she is, oh GAWD I miss it sooooo much.

In going down on her, the squirming, clutching, thrusting, or even still freezing, combined with the sounds of her cooing, moaning, sometimes screaming or squealing, in pleasure or disbelief or in loving appreciation ...the rumbling, quivering, pulsating muscle tightening, intensifying to the apex of her explosion as I lick it, suck it, sloppy, passionately, with EVERYTHING I have to give, oh  gawd how I miss that.

And the connection ...when established ..when I can give her my pleasure and the power of my own eruption devours our emotions, and the following bliss of sweet holding, soft caress and massage, and the COMING (cumming as everyone loves to spell it) becomes the wonder of coming down.  And oh my goodness how I miss that ...so much.
I miss it with those whom I have tasted, desired to taste, and when the number of days get reset to zero, whenever that is, I'll miss it with her. 

Wednesday

our first lesbian kiss (best of)

Best of ...

I am daydreaming about this time when we meet.

I have no idea where it is..but its a sunny day...I know that we are probably going to meet the first time in a restauraunt ...but for some reason in the daydream I am always thinking its like a parking lot or something.

The sky couldn't be more blue and its the middle of the day.

You are even more beautiful in person than in your pictures..and now I can see the beauty in your eyees that a picture can never pick up ..and the curve of the fabric around your breasts lets me know their weight, their sway and a hint of what your nipples look like, a subject i must confess that I have obsessed on a bit from time to time since the crush between us became so strong. You probably have no idea how badly I want you lately ..but my desire is as strong as ever as I crave your affection.

So there we are in this parking lot ..you are their first and as I drive up I recognize the description of your car ...i notice that you have noticed me driving up and when I pull up next to you, you look through the windows and smile at me..wave ...I do the same...put the car into park..check my purse and a quick check of my hair and makeup for the 100th time in the last hour...probably give myself a quick pep talk "this is it" and nervous, excited start to get out of my car and realize you too are getting out of your car. We are exchanging our first smiles and a hug ...a hug in my fantasy that is so tight because I am sooooo glad this moment has finally arrived. I am tempted to kiss you right there but realize we are in public and .....who knows..you may be seeing me for the first time and realizing you aren't really attracted to me...too fat or something.

Even though we both know WHY we are here together at this moment..I cant' help but be so so so nervous and it shows in our small talk...you look great...you say i do..I love that you wore something for me that shows so much cleavage and I have already noticed that you noticed mine when I walked toward you the first time....we knew this is how some of this would be...but now its the reality and we talk about each other instead of ourselves...the mutual admiration society commences its meeting and you have turned me into a giddy schoolgirl who is trying to impress her first crush.

In this fantasy I realize that I will probably be so nervous and wanting to know if you really like me..probably looking for signs that we could have something deeper and stronger than the orgasmic sex that seems a given that will happen between us if not today, then sometime...and that at some point with whatever is said, I feel comfortable enough to take a deep breath and relax ..then I know I can look at you...just LOOK at you in a sexual way and start to think of what it really will be like.

But in my fantasy ..today can't be that day ...because we are pressed for time...only an hour maybe an hour and a half. You have told me that you can find a place for us to go ...but I have no idea where.... so I say..."are you ready to get out of ths parking lot," and we have to decide which car to take....it seems logical to take whichever has the most room ( i have a small size SUV) ...but whichever car we take...I am wanting YOU to drive (in the fantasy...reality can be different if we want it to be)

So you in the drivers seat ..me in the passengers seat...before you start the car a moment when I say "hey...we are alone...finally." and I reach out my hand to squeeze your thigh..."is it ok ?" "yes" .. "no hard feelings if you back out ok?" "Im not backing out.....are you?" "ive never wanted you more" "ive wanted to be alone with you for so long."


The car starts and we start to pull away...where are you taking me....how far? how private will it be? As you drive I am so excited and just looking at your face and your curves and beggining to tingle. I check the mirror again...ask myself if I overdid the makeup ..the eyeshadow ...did i make a mistake going with that shade of blue for our "first date." ...wondering if this was a dress to impress date or in this middle of the day setting where unfortunately you have to return to work (but I dont,) if I left you at perceived disadvantage by wanting you to see my dress up side while you were forced to be conservative enough to go back to work. Still small talk til you get where you are going. I sincerely have no idea in reality where you will take us ..dying to know :) but have imagined a very secluded spot where we will nto be discovered. I touch your thigh as you drive...you hold my hand ...we continue the sighs, deep breaths of nervousness and smiles...you say what I'm thinking and i say what you are thinking as we go down the road to the place.

The vehicle turns off and we are alone ..very alone..I didn't know this secluded place exhisted...and so...and so....and SO ... this ....is indeed IT. THE MOMENT for us. My seat belt comes unbuckled and I know we are aboytut to kiss ..but how? we both sooooooooo know its coming. and want it. i can feel you want all that this will allow us...It's like I can feel your skin pulsating under my lips, and yet I havent touched you like that yet. and again..with you going back to work ...it cant allow us much....we must restrain some...and i wonder how greedy we will be with our wants.

You want to get out or stay in the car ? We decide to stay in (in my fantasy) ..and I come closer to you and lay my head upon your shoulder. My right arm goes around you to your shoulder and then your neck...my forearm is against your breast and we are both aware that we have noticed that fact. can i just lay here lke this for a few minutes..you say its ok and i caress you...you caress me back...tell me its nice..its not rushed. My gawd what a rush it is to look into your beautiful eyes and feel your desire.

You tell me we have to leave at a certain time...and we will keep an eye on the clock..but that time girl..that time will go so fast....racing faster than the beats of my heart at the moment.

Things have a certain order it seems...though I know in the future at a moment like this I would be very comfortable caressing your breasts right now...I know our lips must come together. You are so beautiful as I scoot high enough in the seat to get at your level..a bit above it...not yet...i caress your thigh....and come very close to your crotch without going there yet...you compliment my touch without a word...just the look in your eyes....ready for this ? spoken or unspoken ..thats where we are...i KNOW you are about to know the softness in a kiss like you have never felt and that fact turns me on even more...

lips ............. tongue ............... soft moan ............. melt ............ deeper ..... open your eyes and look into mine ...we have arrived here together in this moment

kiss me back and i will kiss you deeper still.
and I can wait no longer to feel the weight of your breast in my right hand as it lowers from behind your neck.
shifting to be closer and against each other our bodies make the best of what we can in the vehicle.

but

oh babe...so much the desire..we are both flowing into our panties (if you wore any LOL) ...and ...we cant finish what we are starting...today we are just making out...but ...we need and want more.....

did you wear something that i can touch you down there in ? I will know your wetness. I want your hands upon my breasts and take your hand and put it there. I can feel the electricity shoot through you as well as me. oh melt into this with me darling...let this not be our last time but the first of so many.

I am afraid of pulling our shirts off or our panties down in a place that could be discovered....but i want to touch you ....i push a finger into your wetness...."do we need to stop" "please dont stop"
so good
i know
so let me like this
i lean up against the car door on my side of the vehicle...ask you to turn around and lean with your back up against my body..you are unsure...but like this i can smell your hair, kiss your sweet soft lips, enter your blouse with my left hand and feel your nipples harden and respond to my desire, and finger your wetness with my right hand ...and easily all at the same time.....it is not too tempting not to take you over the edge and feel your come....i whisper in your ear...i really wanted the first time to be with my mouth babe....promise me i can bury my face in your thighs soon..."yes" you reply... want me to take you all the way...."please" ...so I will ....you squirm, moan for me, call my name softly, and i bring you the explosion ..."i need to taste you" you tell me..and I assure you that you will ..but not today...unexpectedly you softly grab my wrist and bring my fingers covered in the wetness of your vagina and suck on my fingers...beautiful first with your eyes closed and open them to see me in admiration and pure lust.

our time is up..and we have to get you back to looking somewhat unsexed :) before you return.

more kisssing..more making out...more promises and promises to keep our promises

Glee Lesbian eroticism, tribbing, and drama

Just want to say..this is as far as Glee has gone with the lesbian thing this year.   I about peed my panties when I saw this last night. Lets try to remember that these are innocent High School girls ok ?(I remember being one of those at one time)  Here are the images from the lesbian making out (no tender kiss YET, but there was a reference to the two Cheerio's tribbing ) and the dialogue from the Glee episode "Duets"


Naya Rivera and Heather Morris as Santana and Brittany
Glee
Episode from October 12, 2010
(Over the previous episodes it has become clear that Brittany is the Lesbian one with the capital L, Santana is bi, given her relationship with Puck and Brittany)

(Slow pan from the youth pictures of Brittany cheerleading, so we know it's her bedroom, to the bottom of the bed and agonizingly slow  to the top with the two cheerleaders lying prone, Santana on top of Brittany, making out, sucking on her neck. )
Brittany (Sighing) "Oh your sweet lady kisses."
Santana"mmmm hmmm...It's a nice break from all that scissoring"
Brittany. (pulling her back in towards her neck and holding her around the shoulders ever so much tighter) We should do a duet together.  We should sing Melissa Ethridge's Come To My Window
Santana: (frustrated) First of all, there's alot of talking going on, and I wants to get my mac on. (Dives back into her neck, her right hand headed towards Brittanys breast)
Brittany: Well I don't know just...
Santana: (interrupting and sitting up) Second of all, Im not making out with you cause I'm in love with you and want to sing about making lady babies.  I'm only here because Puck's been in the slammer for about 12 hours now and I'm like a lizard.  I need something warm beneath me or I can't digest my food" 


This dialogue comes less than a week after the Jane Lynch Saturday Night Live episode that featured the skit with her as a closet lesbian coming out to Suze Orman. What a great Lesbian week !

(feel free to repost with link back to this site)

Tuesday

Just A Slice of Lesbian Life ...in bed

A Minute Of Lesbian Bliss
by akiss2desire

I just cant believe how much I love it when I am on top of her and kissing her and she wraps her legs around my waist and scrunches under me a bit more to change the angle of how i come up on top of her in these heated and emotional deep kisses we share. My tongue goes a bit deeper and I feel those legs wrapped around me grip a bit tighter, her ankles turning into my skin, her toes stroking my bareness.  I am so focused on the intensity of our kiss that in the shift of her coming underneath me, my hair has come between our lips and is mingling in our kiss ...but the kiss is too good to break ...we just let the hair dangle between us for a few moments before the absurdity of this acceptance of something quite unacceptable gets us both smiling and giggling at each other in the moment our lips depart one another.

She reaches underneath to pay attention to my left breast with her right hand ...cupping over my bra and digging her nails in gently, lovingly, but with determination to make my skin feel her consideration of my ever elevating arousal.  Her digging into my breast with her nails with her firm, but not too much squeeze and lift causes me first to sigh deeply and then decide that her bra must go, NOW.  As I reach around to unclasp her, she leans forward to give me the space to do so, and as I  pull the fabric slowly away from her skin, her piked nipples revealed to reward my eyes and my heart in knowing she is just so there in drenched anticipation for the delights we are just embarking upon. 

On impulse, my next kiss down on her mouth is as wide open as I can comfortably achieve, but as the surprise elicits a reaction from her that simultaneously includes he lunging of her pussy against me, the tightening of her legs around me and a frozen moment of ecstasy she unveils with her eyes,  as if to say I have license to do to her anything that I would desire, for she trusts me to always flavor of our lesbian orgasmic destiny.

She likes her nipples sucked slowly and I usually oblige.  The noises she makes when I do it drive me wild.  She likes to make  more eye contact while I do that than anyone else I have made love to.  She gazes upon me and I understand the look and that she wants me to look into her eyes as much as possible
"I can't wait anymore for your mouth," she pants, and I know she needs my tongue upon her down there, inside her, and that it time we began the long ride of wave after wave of the oral gratification that is wonderful for us both

Thursday

Lesbian kissing and fingering and humping and oh my

Ok...I never came into this as a blogger who wanted to repost things from x sites ...there are plenty of blogs that do that. In fact, for anyone who is with me that long, I think I went a year before I even said pussy on here. But I have to post the link to this free vid and go to it at your own risk ...its two women who start by getting really off on each other ...then end up in mutual masturbation. The reason I share it is that it, for me, is sooooooo rare to find vids of women who do a good job convincing me that the camerman isnt there, or that they are in their own world enough for it not to matter. While I would love to see a progressioin to more oral delights for these two, I have to share this based on what it did to me ..and also, ..blushingly...if anyone wants to know what its like when I am totally getting off ....there are many elements of the reactions I have and the noises I make in this vid ...not quite like looking in the mirror but close. So ..again..I am not here to blog repost stuff like this...but making the exception cause goodness gracious it made me hot this morning.

link below...here is a vidcap :)




Lesbian kissing and fingering pussy

Tuesday

As two women kiss ...

As Two Women Kiss
by akiss2desire
copyright 2010 all rights reserved


I remember when we walked around that pond and grasped each others hand,  the ducks were the only witness and I kept an eye out for anyone who might be lurking and watching us, but it appeared we had the location to ourselves that spring afternoon when the dark grey clouds were giving way to a misty drizzle off and on.  "A little rain never hurt anyone, right ?"   I had said as we departed your car for our stroll.

As we tested our chemistry with more quiet mutual contemplation than forced small talk, in as much of a first date as two women starting this affair could have as we had both slipped away from work for this rendeousvous, while the magnitude of our desires had surely not slipped our mind.  If it was in our minds to just lay down somewhere and go at it with each other, full out porn style, it wasnt going to happen for many reasons including the dampness of the ground and lack of a blanket, the fear of discovery at a small town public pond, or not the least of which, the decency of two women, neither of which would dare appear to each other as a slut, no matter how strong the throb and flow of the possibilities of all we could give to each other in lesbian passion fully unleashed.
When we came upon the concrete bench a few feet from the water under a willow tree, neither had to invite the other to sit.   But before I sat down next to you, unclasping your hand and reaching down to pick the wildflower, I contemplated that the flower was as content with the dampness of the day as I was with the scenery , her prescense, the perfection of the moment, and a decisioin of whether to hand her the flower, or lift it to her hair and contemplate whether to place it behind her ear .  I smiled at her and playfully put the flower there, knowing it wouldn't stay, it tumbled down out of her hair but as if holding on before it settled as if it was planned upon her cleavage.   Her eyes flared at mine and as she didn't remove the flower herself, my invitation to approach her breasts with my fingertips to take the flower and twirl it with my fingertips, but not before those fingertips had lightly scratchingly grazed her soft skin to coax the goosebumps, and while not squeezing her breast outright, I couldn't resist the delight of the touch and sight and seeming innocence of my  the touch of my "pink shock" painted nails (not so diva!) testing the pliancy and softness of her breast.   Her cleavage and soft skin was beautiful, her top was flowing in the breeze, and that too was beautiful, her grey eyes shying away from mine was beautiful, and the rush of the rightness of the moment overwhelmed us both as she tilted her head to beckon me, and just before I lowered my lips towards hers, I really too notice of them ...a bit wrinkled from the years and with character, the warm shade of red lipstick she had chosen as carefully as the darker shade I had chosen just for her in hoping that we'd meet our lips together today, and siezing a perfect moment in time,  taking both her hands in mine a split second before the fireworks of the meeting of our mouths to soon be followed by her tongue meeting mine perfectly in the middle.

The soft part of her lips and mine on each other and the very tentative probing of her tongue could have been the second to break our first kiss or continue it with the passion I felt and felt coming from her.  We both opened wider and into her I deeply thrust my tongue.  The contradiction of the coolness of the air and the searing heat between us.  I moaned into her mouth and as I eventually withdrew my tongue, she closed her mouth but not her eyes, pecked me and rocked her head forward again to kiss me and I got the message not to stop.   Another deep and emotional penetration to her wide open mouth as we responded by wrapping each others arms around each other, then tightening our embrace as the kiss became more passionate.   My tongue deep within her, she gave me hers the most when we would slightly pull apart and she would stick her tongue out to twirl around mine between our parted lips before we frenched some more.  She completely went limp and passive when I licked around her lips, and her eyes were on fire when we stopped for a few seconds to breathe, only to dive in for more and more mutually.  Ducks make duck noises, leaves rustle ...the clouds give way to a soft drizzle.  Neither of us care about the mist ...both of us know a different wetness.



After the seconds became minutes I lowered to her neck and and took a very deep breath to rest my cheek upon the soft skin of her breast, trusting we were still alone, what words are needed, but spoken anyway, she sighs and holds me ever so tightly, "oh my gawd, you are the best kisser I've ever ...." and she shuddered and half squealed, half grunted.   She pulls me closer and I nuzzle her boobs and sigh.

"I can't wait to show you everything else I can do with my mouth." 

Question and answers for akiss2desire

Just us ladies in the room 
I always appreciate the questions I get and some meaningful dialogues are sometimes the result.  I think while I am sometimes in writers block for the mix of lesbian fantasy and reality (not much reality lately LOL) I write about, the things I wanted to convey about myself, my closet lesbian life, and the urges, feelings, opinions and experiences sometimes more easily flow from my mind in question and answer form.   Sometimes I share those questions and answers here, while keeping the "asker" anonymous.  This is far from the most erotic post (ie: it probably won't make you horny) but there are plenty of things in the archives for the first timers.   So ..here are some of the questions asked and answered recently by me, akiss2desire.

And before we begin ..I have a question for you (the reader.)   I have 2 friends who are telling me how great the Kindle and Nook electronic readers are. Now that beach season is over ..I am probably late on this but, let me ask anyway.  If I compile my 10 or 15 best stories, fantasies and experiences in a form that could be taken on the go (The Best Of ...) would it be of use to anyone ?   Would it be something you'd (gulp) pay a small pittance for ?   Let me know at akiss2desire@gmail.com or in response to this post.   
============================================

Dear Akiss2desire,
I stumbled across your blog a few weeks ago and since then I’ve been hooked. I decided to write you after reading that you are addicted to feedback and also that you actually do respond to your e-mails sometimes. Hopefully you will have a moment free from your busy schedule to read this one.
Your stories are …delicious. I love your style of writing and the way you delicately select the words you use to bring us into another world. My favorite is the one about the woman you were in love with who left you but came back to you just for sex. The way you described how when you finally got back together you jumped straight to fucking, just like that without even speaking, was incredibly hot. I can only imagine the attraction that must have been between you two. I  wish…but you give proof that it's possible. I masturbate, and I thought it was a lot  (that's relative) before I found your blog but since then it’s been like every day, sometimes more than once. Crazy huh? Thank you for your work and for sharing your experiences. Please don’t quit. I’m sure that if you persevere long enough you will achieve everything you aspire to, including your book being published



I would also like to ask you a few questions; they are personal but this is anonymous and you seem to share just about everything else anyway. I can’t believe that you actually plan how you will describe your experience on your blog during sex. That’s just something on a whole other level that I don’t know how to describe.


I just threw that out in the way that I let my stream of conscious dictate what I write ...I was asked about it by lovers and I had to admit it to them, but I didnt think I had admitted it on the blog before.  On the other hand, I don't think I am so self conscious about this blog that I find myself saying "Ive got to find someone to make love to or I won't have anything to write about."   In fact, when I have tried to hard for love / sex ...I have had my heart hurt, if not broken. 


And I understand that you have to keep your whole lesbian life a secret because of your son. That’s very noble of you and he’s very lucky to have come into this world with you as his mother. Do you think that one day after he is grown you will leave your husband and finally have an open relationship with a woman? 

I think about it all the time.   My day to day, week to week, living the closet life as a church going, community involved working mom, pretending to be fairly happy wife is really not that painful...we are more economically comfortable as a pair and my husband, who is an asshole to me, is pretty good with his son.  Our family life, or home life, is truthfully not that bad.  Somebody must know that there is more to life than sexual pursuit ..sexual desire and all that takes up alot of my emotions and I reason that at some point, it probably will happen that I will get divorced, get caught and be forced to divorce, or whatever.  If it never happens, I am ok with it ...I can imagine myself settling down with one particular woman, or being wild and making love with as many women as are willing LOL.   (either sounds ok to me )  It would be such a HUGE change in my life, its hard to believe it might happen ..but I suppose its possible.
  If there is one thing that never changes is that everything changes.



Also, even though you are careful have you thought about the possibility of being caught too soon and the consequences of  that? Are you afraid that you might hook up with the wrong woman one day who might decide to out you for some vicious reason?


GOOD QUESTION and I am living the answer !  I am more afraid of trusting someone who isn't who they appear to be.  There is even a woman I have had contact with recently whom I decided to cool it with before we ever got to the hot and heavy and the biggest reason was a vibe that was just coming across as aggressive and possibly the kind of woman who might burn the house down if scorned. I had skipped around that situation with a lover before, and it was nerve wracking. So ..YES ..that crosses my mind and thats not just a F2F thing...if I were having affairs with men I would feel the same way.


Are you a religious woman at all and if so how does that part of you affect your  feelings about your lifestyle?


I am a christian woman who goes to a very conservative church.  My pastor preaches often about infidelity...but has never preached against homosexuality.  I believe that I have flaws and in my prayers ask for forgiveness for them.  My flaws are not that I want to make love with women, but I DO believe the wrongest thing I do is take chances and perhaps might get caught which would do damage not just to me, which I could take, but also to family ...which is really my first priority. I know that I have been involved in conversations about bible verses that are believed to say homosexuality is such an unforgiveable sin ...I am not the best christian and tend to be a cafeteria christian...taking a little here and little there and making sure it betters my life ..but some churches say you cant have a beer and wine....My choices sure wouldn't be welcome there either. 
Maybe if you have time you could lend a few words of wisdom. I’m 26 years old (next week) HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! and I have just recently allowed myself to open up to the idea that I’m bisexual. I was raised in a religious home and taught that homosexuality of any kind is wrong. I’m still not sure about that but I know I can’t deny what I feel any longer. When I was younger I just thought that I liked the way that other females looked, more in an aesthetic sense not in a sexual way, and I told myself that I would never actually want to do anything with a woman. However, since about a year ago it’s completely flipped;  I see the beauty in every woman that walks past me. I just can’t wait anymore! I’m literally aching to put my lips on a woman, stop and smell her, to feel her skin against my skin, to know what it’s like when she climaxes for me. Sigh… I have been with men before, but honestly ever since I started reading your blog I’m not at all interested in having sex with a man. At least not for now.
Beginnings: Lesbians Talk About the First Time They Met Their Long-Term Partner
What you describe is similar to my feelings and experience ...in stages of acceptance ...I have gone from the realization that "of course I am bisexual" at a very early age, to realizing that not only would I like for that to happen I wanted to persue it ...and then in my twenties, the going over the cliff that you describe ..the "flip" of realization that it was likely all I wanted sexually anymore...and that whatever I had done with men was for such different reasons that it was like comparing apples to oranges ..while both sex with men and sex with women are both sex, involve playing with the naughty bits, involve intimacy and involve orgasm....they are truly of different worlds in every aspect.  Now, can i say that it HAS to be more than just my little old blog ....you must have been seeking something that came to fruition ..and the realization that you are ready to quit fantasizing and make something happen is yet another one of those steps along the way. When you say "I cant wait anymore" I am rooting for you and now as you are further looking for opportunities to arise, your fantasy may be fulfilled sooner than you know.

 
 
I have several issues though. First of all I’m extremely shy and I don’t have the first idea as to how to “befriend” another woman in that way. I would hate to come on to the wrong person and be made to look like a total fool. I know you said to expect rejection but still, how can you tell who is who?


I am African American, not extremely attractive but not ugly either. I try to keep my body in good shape, I’ve got average sized breasts, and a substantial “asset”. I dress fairly conservatively, nothing flashy, no makeup, heels, dresses or anything like that. So I’m not even sure if another girl would be attracted to me in that way. How do I know? Another thing is I’m currently being trained for my future profession at a small school where people like to talk and I don’t want anything to happen which could adversely affect my career. In other words I need to keep it on the down low. And like you, I absolutely don’t want my family to know. Unfortunately I’m not as brave as you are to try and meet random women online for sex. I just couldn’t do it. I just feel that I should have discovered this about myself a long time ago and that time is somehow running out. So what do you think? Am I totally screwed or what?


This is one of the main things I wanted to address when i got this note from you.  You know that I have looked for love in some wrong places ..it has worked for me ..I have been lucky lately too in being able to sense a vibe with a couple of women locally.   With the girl I met who was literally a cashier at Target, it was like sparks flying from the start ..I was noticing her, she was noticing me noticing her and looking at me "that way," and somehow and indescribably we opened door after door to one another til we made love, fell in love, and broke it shattering against the pavement of our lives.   I am at a loss to tell you exactly how that happened except to say that when i tell you I was looking for someone to open a door the day I took a chance on showing her my interest, I would tell you that in the past 4 - 5 years I am ALWAYS looking.   However, I asked the question you asked online to women and in forums as well and got much different answers.  If you google and  ask "where do I meet women ..how will i know," you are going to get alot of "gym locker room," and "join a volleyball league" stuff.  That all may work for you too.   It may come up in conversation with just the right person as well.   Being honest and setting yourself up for rejection may be part of the process.  I am trying to be of help ...but it probably is almost of no help if i reply honestly that its different for every woman, and I went Y E A R S between sexual experiences (and am in a "dry spell now as I write this) because so many possibilities online and in flirtation fell through.  Like I would get close to someone and she would give me every indication I should persue it, and Id get hot and think "this is gonna happen," and the next time she'd act like she didnt like me at all. It is just so different and YOU will find your way.  


Hi,
    I just wanted to write you and let you know how much your blogs have helped me. I have been following your sites for about nine months now. I began to question my sexuality seriously around then. I was sitting in class when a girl I had never seen before walked through the door and made me melt. I felt butterflies, anxious, and nervous. I could feel the heat rising on my skin as it crept up to my face. I had never felt anything like that before in my life. I had just been waiting for that special boy to come into my life, but he never did. I didn't understand why I never was boy crazy like the other girls. Sure, I thought they were cute, but that was all. This girl changed everything for me. I was completely mesmerized by her. I found your site when I was just trying to figure all these new feelings out. It can be very confusing to get the lovestruck preteen feelings in college. Your work helped me realize that I wasn't emotionally void of romantic feelings, but in fact attracted to women. As I read I became more sure of myself and more relieved. Your writings were so moving that I continued to read even after I became more comfortable with myself. You still help me today, but in more "grown up" ways shall we say haha. I find it to be the best erotica around. I love reading your perspective and you always put words together so seamlessly. The raw and tender emotions make me feel like I am living your fantasies and experiences. Sometimes it is like you are making love to me (I wish!). For someone who is a total newbie that can be extremely powerful. I always wish I had someone after reading your newest entries. Please continue to update; your site truly is one of a kind..
Just so you know ... your words truly moved me.  For whatever reason, the realization of our sexual selves, for most personality types, is at least partially suppressed.  I have been able in the last few years to let it out to myself, let it out to a few lovers (lucky me) and let it out, of course, on this blog. Whether it is clear on the blog or not, I can tell you that I write from a mixture of fantasy and experience.   I am sooooo in the closet in the small Virginia town I live in.  I am still married to a man who I have decided to stay with for now, even though everything I do with women is a blatant extra marital affair, complete with the sneakiness and all the stress that goes with that, I think whats best for my son, (for now) is to keep the family together.  I can tell that I am cracking a bit on this, as I was opening an account at a bank last week and answered a question to a virtual stranger, the girl opening my account, that I was "married ...we live under the same roof, but ...there's nothing happening there."   Couldn't believe myself for saying that outloud  ...and yet ...it was half motivated by attraction to the sweetheart in front of me.  

This stuff happens and because its inside of us we have to roll with it.  I am so moved by your carefully thought out letter.   I am sloooowwwly starting to believe in myself as a writer.  A letter like yours to start the day gives me a myriad of emotions and inspiration.  I thank you so very much.  I truly truly mean that. (yeah ..I'm gushing a bit LOL)  
 
I am a married woman in the south, married a long time but no kids, who has begun the process of accepting my lesbian side (not sure if I am bi or not) but I do need some advice.  

I am not prepared to leave my marriage, but want to be with a woman.  I can find interested women online but I am so worried about safe sex, since most of the women I meet online who are interested in a fling are not monogamous.

I think I must be the most selfish person on the planet, I want my cake and eat it too.

Thoughts? I can really use a friend with experience :)
 
First of all ...I know from both my own experience and the notes I get that sound alot like yours that I get since this blog went from a few hits a week to the more than 4000 a month it gets now...that you are not alone.

Since I started this blog I have gone from having made love with 3 women over the course of nearly a dozen years, to now having been with 8 women total and feeling like that is not nearly enough LOL.   I am accepting more each day that I am as a lover and a cuddler and a seducer, seducee, and perhaps someday as a partner ..that I am lesbian.  And yes, I am lesbian married to a man who does not know and what he does know he does not approve of.  So, in some things, we have alot in common.   A big difference for you is that you say dont have kids.

My day to day friends don't know and I can't tell the ones in my closest circle ...but where I have taken chances in flirtation and bolder comments  has been with those I consider acquaintances...seeming safe...and a couple of things seemed like amazing and meant to be "opportunities" that I felt confident and more confident about "going for."
Wow can we be more similar?....I thank you for your friendship - to help with replying maybe I can ask specific questions.

1.  Is there a specific site online you would suggest to meet women? (I am using Fling at the moment)
2. I suspect my husband would end our marriage if he found out, you mentioned your husband does not know but what he does he does not approve of - I didn't understand that.
3.  Safe sex, am I making a big deal about it?  with men I was totally uncompromising on this.
4.  I have not ever cheated on anyone I have been in a relationship with, so there is that tension about what I want to do. On one hand I see it as something different, that I cannot get in my marriage and do not think it will threaten it as I am not looking for a relationship with a woman - am I naive in thinking this? Once I have been with  a woman I am sure I will not be the same.

I Kissed a Girl: Erotic Fiction on First Time Lesbian Encounters As for advising what on earth to do, I can't ...and in fact, much of what I did would be considered if not physically dangerous, definitely risky in that I have now for many years put my family's well being at risk to have affairs ..and I would not ever advise that  as the right choice for anyone else.  Having said that ..I believe when I FINALLY am ready to begin the divorce process it will be a new life I suppose. 

1-Specific Site ?   No, I am a married woman in a small town ...and if you have to do this discreetly, probably the one you stumbled on is as good as any.    Listen, there is alot in the news about Craigs list, but for me in my little corner of the world, the most honest and sincere responses I got was from the blurb I put on Craigs list.  I met a woman that way and actually TURNED DOWN some possibilities that had much going for them but the chemistry wasn't right. I also met a woman from yahoo chat ..and another from aol chat ...so online has been cool and worked for me but risky.   ANYTHING you do, just don't take too many chances....meet publicly of course...never meet anyone without talking on phone first to make sure its not a guy etc.  

3-The safe sex question is this.   I cannot imagine a woman having something and not revealing it.  Nevermind that what we are doing is performing amateur exams upon one another ...I just cannot imagine if a woman knows, not revealing it.  The risk would be if she has something and doesn't yet know. 

2-4 --The comment about my husband and cheating go together.

Explaining my comment about my husband.  We have been married for 9 years now, but half of those have been pretty much me staying with him because of my now 8 year old son.   I havent love loved him for years...things have been said that can't be taken back.   When I more loved and trusted him, I was partially honest about lesbian experiences I had before I married him.  I wasnt completely honest about how intense and fulfilling these were ...but in general he knows I had that and for a few months we did that thing where we looked online as a couple for threesome partners because I THOUGHT (wrongly) that was the best way to handle the intensity of lesbian desire I was experiencing.  Basically, I can tell you that ...and I can't believe its been this long ago, that when I was pregnant and perhaps hormone aided or affected, I more realized I had been mostly lesbian in my desires since my teens...no matter my actions which were mainstream date men, get a husband, have a baby.   In bed, in fantasy, I have given up even calling myself bisexual ....I am pretty much gay and should have known when i was in my teens, but if that had happened, I wouldnt have my son.  So, all things for a reason.  SO ...when I say he doesn't know, I mean that I expend ALOT of energy and risk to our family by keeping this a secret ...  I am as close to a "double life" as you will ever know ..and truthfully, its now difficult to reconcile that. When I say "what he knows he doesnt like" it means that he knows I had lesbian experiences before him, desired them while I was with him and actively sought them (in threesomes) and now when we fight he uses that knowledge against me. He has accused me of having an affair more than a few times and has even said "I bet its not even a guy."  So ..its been ugly ...NO PITY though, I have long known my situation and chose my battles ....you must know the consequences if you go about it this way ..Dont say the girl from the blog suggested you go out and have affairs....it might go well, it might not.

Will having lesbian sex change everything ?   YES.  ...I think instinctively you already know this.  There are alot of "oh shit" firsts that in a lesbian experience...not just the first one but every one of them, that you already know about without having experienced them.  Obviously a first kiss , the first time your breasts meet hers sexually, the first time you feel her wetness and the ways she will touch you...and you will know the difference in softness and the melting of souls that women have together if ..IF you can climb in the bubble together.  When you feel a woman react to your touch ...sooooo different than with men ...knowing she's wet (not hard) for YOU ...and amazing things that feel good in both sexual but also spiritual ways. 

Can you do this on a "lets just have sex and not get involved" way ?   Yes and No.  I guarantee that unless you have a good "wall" that you can put up, that in making love you will feel love.  I have been with women who put up the wall and left some of their intensity and affection at home ..in sensing this it made for less of an experience in making love. I am someone who just gives myself sooooo completely in making love ...always been that way with men and women ...only way it feels right to me.  But, yes, I know for fact you can "do it' and not get involved ..and I also know that you can fall so in love, as I did, that the pain of ending it can be the darkest day, just like any relationship.  Depends on your own walls.  Mine were soft and I never loved anyone so much as the one I loved, and even though its been a year and a few months now since we stopped seeing each other, I wish often to open my email and see her write me to reunite. You may find someone as well with a powerful bedroom chemistry that because of your marital circumstance, you are unable to peruse in the other ways. 

Finally...you mention the "selfish" aspect.  I have said that about me for a long time.   We aren't the first women to seek affection outside of marriage, and especially when it is so compelling as what women are together within the reality of lesbian sex.  If you find someone you can be discreet with it I would say ...based on my experience...that you are never going to know how incredible making love with a woman can be until you go for it in some way...but I would also say that whle it will always be orgasmic F2F, it will be meaningful if you find someone you really care about.  Thats the next level .

I love answering your questions and getting to know you.   Write back and I will answer anything you want.  I love erotic honesty...and the truth is, honesty is a powerful aphrodesiac.
So ..thats the latest installment of question and answers. Love to know your comments . 

Sunday

The Lesbian Seduction of My Office Co-Worker (Best of AKD)

Here is a best of to run while I work on a fewthings for you. When someone writes me I tend to ask "what was your favorite?"   This is one that keeps coming up ...so for those who haven't read it before, a bit of my vulnerability exposed, a story I poured my heart into, and one that shows I had graduated from the shy bi curious mom I had once been.   

The Lesbian Seduction of My Office Co-Worker
By akiss2desire
copyright 2010 all rights reserved


I called her on the intercom when I realized we were going to be closing the office together, working late as the only ones there again ...unpaid overtime for the company. "Hey Marcia ...just stop by my office before you leave tonight ok ?

After everyone had left but us, at about 5:20, when I had been done with my work for 15 minutes, but just waiting for her to come by as I had asked, she tapped on the door and walked in with those astounding blueish eyes that looked at me as a mentor, always waiting for me to take the lead on a project or with the next direction for her...how I love that way she looks at me so vulnerable and trusting and ...well...young. At 23, stunningly beautiful thick black hair, her light blue polo shirt and khaki pants in now way showing off what I knew was beautiful beneath, with her 5'6 skinny girl stature offset by hips that were larger than the rest of her frame ..and the same could be said about her breasts, large round cantaloupes that defied gravity somedays in her business attire.

However, I had seen more of those beautiful breasts when Marcia and I were washing cars for charity one Saturday morning. Braless with a clinging black tshirt that day, her nipples stiffened by the wetness as if to announce that she was available and between boyfriends, and she knew how good it looked, for she was putting it out there to get the compliment I gave her. "Every guy that comes by here today thinks you are the hottest girl in the state," I flirted..and there is no doubt that day she wanted the guys to notice...and they did ..and I did. She is not a lesbian.

But then again, neither am I ...as far as anyone I work with knows.

But I had decided Monday that "this was the week" I was going to make a pass at her, and early that Tuesday morning I had decided that "this was the day," it was going to happen, and I felt like I looked my best for the guys too in a strapped sundress lowcut with my far less than perfect boobs half showing. You know, my boobs since high school get me noticed and I am never afraid to orchestrate whatever that show is ..somedays a little showing, other days as much as I can in the workplace ....don't care what anyone says about me or about them. Not perfect and of course sagging as I approach my mid-30's. But they've always been big ...and full ...I even if I am someone who doesn't often allow myself to think good things about myself, I at least will say that I can make cleavage look good for the guys ...but on this day, it wasn't for the guys at all. I pulled the dress down and pushed my boobs up and through while I waited for her to come in.

And I was scared and nervous because I just have barely done this ...but I can't say never ...and in fact, since the last time I really "went for it," I found the lesbian love of my lifetime ...or at least for a few months before the heartbreak ....I felt empowered to give it another try ...but this time, with a co-worker ..with someone who could bounce it back and hurt me ...I was taking a HUGE chance. But I had reasoned that Marcia was worth it, and so many signs she had given me made me or things she had confided to me made believe at least two things. One: That she was sexually aware and fairly free, by saying things like "hey I'll try anything once, and twice if it feels good," and the like, and Two: That she and I were close enough to take the chance I was about to take, by telling me, among other things, that I was her best friend, and that there was "nothing" she wouldn't do for me if I asked. I was about to ask her to do something ..but not for me, but rather WITH me. What was about to happen was very very big....either a big dissapointment ....or a big step forward for both of us...stepping forward to the bedroom I hoped.

Boldy and confidently I was ready to make a serious advance
"Is something wrong?" She asked with genuine concern. "Did I do anything wrong ?"

"No... ..first ...sit down," and she did across the desk from me in the fairly cramped and cluttered office, " and ...just hang on a second...do you have a few mminutes?"
"I don't have a life," she laughed.
"Here, " I said while opening my desk and reaching in for the turquoise bracelet I had bought her the weekend before.
"I was in that shop again and this time I didn't just THINK that was perfect for you...I couldnt resist getting it for you."
"You shouldn't have ...it is wonderful," she was sincerely flattered. It was a perfect bracelet for her and when she put it on, "I can't take this ...this wasn't cheap I know where you got it,"
"But I wanted you to have it ."
"Wow ... you know me all too well Brenda ...I love it. THANK you....I'll do something nice for you sometime."
"You're good to me all the time, if it werent for you I'd be here to midnight tonight" I laughed, and we both did in acknowledging we were working pretty hard as a team lately.
"Marcia ..I love to hear you laugh...its great."
"What on earth can I do to repay you for this?"
"Welllll...thats the thing....I need to talk to you about something ...and you can repay me by not killing me if you don't like what I am about to talk to you about.....or ....at the very least, if you could keep a secret."
"Oh no, you're quitting...you got another job?"
"No no no...not that ...I'm not going anywhere....I love working here...and the biggest reason is cause I get to work with you everyday."
"Just don't leave."

And I steeled myself ...because the small talk was over ....the "ahhhhh" of the awkward what comes next moment had arrived, and I was about to drop the big lesbian bomb on her. And I knew she didn't know it was coming. And I didn't know what would happen ...but I couldnt go another day without saying it.

"Well...I need to talk to you...or rather...I want to talk with you..and I'm just nervous cause I know ..or I THINK what I am going to say is going to shock you...I think."
"Well I think you know you can talk to me about anything ...I thought we already are completely honest with each other?"
"Well Marcia? This has been going on for a month ..or maybe it's been going on since we started working together a year ago...and I haven't been able to find the words. "
"Marcia....(her eyes locked mine and she looked SO beautiful ...and I knew there was no turning back)I'm looking for an excuse to ask you on a date."
"ohhhh", and after a slight nervous laugh and a long pause she continued"you mean a hanging out date or a date date?
I sighed as deep of a sigh of relief as I have ever sighed because of the fact that I had finally said it. "alot of that depends on you...but I AM talkiing about the the kind with a kiss good night or even more is what I was talking about....and let me explain?"

At that point it looked like a possible rejection. She started shaking her head back and forth as if to say no and looking at the ground snapped nervously, even with a tinge of anger "I never been on a lesbian date....much less with a married ..."

"Yeah ...I gathered that, I interrupted, " ....and I'm sorry but I also know the lesbian inside me that almost nobody knows about isn't usually this direct and bold ...but I think we'd be ok...no pressure ... no big deal .... you know, just take it as a compliment that I'd like to ....ummmm...be more than friends...and obviously, I needed to trust you....I mean, hell, I could get fired or you could break up my marriage cause my husband doesnt know just how much of a lesbian (yes I said it) I have become ...see ...nobody knows ...so Marcia ..I am trusting you like nobody else in believing you won't tell anyone that I'm trying to jump your bones (I laughed) and...let me say one more thing while I'm making an ass of myself.

"You aren't!" she injected

My persuasion intensified. "....let me explain that I thought about this a million times and I just didn't want to go out with you somewhere, try to seduce you ...all that bullshit you know...try to kiss you or get you drunk and fucking grab your tits," I smiled and laughed a bit and fortunately, she smiled and giggled too... "its just not me or the way I thought I should do this...so...I just wanted you to know upfront what my intentions are ...that I LOVE being friends with you and ...I have kinda wanted more for a long time now....just haven't been able to find the way to tell you...so there is no good way to tell you that I like you ...alot ...love you in some ways ....and I cant pretend anymore that I don't have feelings for you that go wayyyy beyond ...." My mind searched for the words in this moment of amped up emotion...." I just cant hide the way I feel about you or the desire to be with you for ....not just for me ...for BOTH of us...I mean ...I just can't pretend its not about ...something more than friends ... ANYMORE. I...Marcia ...(I raised my voice and leaned towards her.)...I'm crazy about you and I've been trying to tell you that forever."

So there it was ...I had passionately, intimately, even apolgetically pleaded my case and confessed my desire for her at the end of our workday ...knowing that whether she turned me down or accepted my advance, that the next day we worked together would be MUCH different ..risking so much because there was so much to gain. Her beauty, her way, her incredibly georgeous and piercing blue eyes and every freckle on her face was beckoning me to take whatever chance there was to take to know the tenderness of a kiss with her, to know the taste of the skin of her neck, the weight of her breast and the sight, sound and eruption of sexual pleasure I would stop at nothing to give her ..if only she would let me into her heart. I had divulged my lesbianism, yearning for her, and shown more vulnerability with her than probably with anyone else I had known going back to at least high school. Now came the wait. A few seconds that felt like a lifetime ....not knowing if there would be acceptance and reciprocation, apologetic denial of my overture, or in the worst cas if I had completely misjudged her, a bitter and uncomfortable end to our friendship. But I knew I had given it my best and set it up so that there was nobody else in the office that night, so that if it were the answer I desired, I wouldnt have to wait for her first kiss, for it could happen tonight ...and maybe more. And if there were tears, or anger, we were isolated.

"Well I won't tell a soul...you know you can trust me ...but ...I honestly had no idea whatsoever that you were bisexual."

"Well....I might not be bisexual...I didn't say bisexual you might have noticed....but I am realizing I am not straight....never have been that ...but ...thats a long story...maybe I will write a book or tell everyone in a blog." I felt coy about that remark.

After a contemplative moment of hesitation, with her eyes looking towards the ground, her voice quivered a little but there came the moment of her admission," ummm...I have had a few fantasies ok...I mean for a long time but I never did anything about them ...but IF I were to ever do anything about it ...and thats a BIG IF ...you'd be someone I'd be thinking about ummm...you'd be someone I think I'd ..." She just stopped and bit her lip fairly hard , fidgeted and raised her eyes up from the ground, but still didn't look me in the eye ...looking past me when she said, "I think we could maybe see what happens."

"And if nothing happens beyond a few laughs, then thats no big deal. We are still gonna be friends ...no matter what."
"I know that," she snapped.
"And if something does happen ...oh you know...I think you'll like it,"
"I think I know that too."
I went sarcastic to break the tension, " you know...get your toenails painted ...listen to Melissa Etheridge music...learn to play field hockey." And she smiled and laughed.
"C'mere." I reached over the desk to grab her hand and a squeezed it fairly tightly. "I'd never do anything to hurt you. Please don't be afraid of me ....I'm the same me you know...just now you know I love women."
"So there is alot you haven't told me..."
"Go out with me ...I'll tell you anything you want to know."

She looked down and shook her head.

"A lesbian date with a married woman almost ten years older than me?"

"Is the age a problem ...I mean...I understand it if is?"

"no gawd no ....age is NOT a problem," she replied, "but not knowing what the hell to do is a problem...being really confused is a problem," and so I grabbed her hand again and squezed and waited for her to look into my eyes again, and I noticed a welling of a tear, "you just gave me so much to think about."

"Why don't you leave all the thinking to me." It was the right thing to say and I knew it ..and almost did a victory dance ...cause that moment I knew I had her ...and I realized that moment I was going home with our first kiss if not more. Same as I knew she trusted me in work projects on a day to day basis, she melted and gave herself to me at that moment. I rose up from my chair and walked to her side of the desk to collect on what I had dreamed about for so long. As I walked I told her of my intention, " Marcia ...I can't wait to feel your lips on mine." And as I arrived at her side of the desk she rose to meet me in stance and I put my arms around her and looked into her trusting eyes, and lowered into her , and met with the softest lips that I kissed ever so gently at first ...and feeling no resistance at first, and giving in and overwhelming acceptance in her mouth opening wider and our embrace tightening, I probed and then jabbed my tongue into the velvety warmth of her welcoming mouth and kissed her deeply and passionately while she and I both went limp, overpowered by emotion and lust, in each others arms.

"Oh god Brenda," she said when we broke free of each others lips, but gripped ever more firm in our embrace, "that was ssoooooo good."

"I've wanted you for so long Marcia," I panted, and began to stroke her back and shoulders and run my fingers through her thick hair while we gazed into each others eyes. Her eyes were half closed ...bewildered ...surrendering. I will never forget the look in her eyes that wonderful moment.

Again we kissed, more passionately than before, and while standing, I turned to sit into the chair that she had been sitting in and pulled her smaller body into me all while never breaking our lips apart. She sat upon me and after a moment when we both had to trust that the office chair would hold us both, she sqatted over me and began to lead our kisses and push her body closer into mine in this new, very very comfortable position.

"What are we doing," she slightly moaned, and I answered, "I don't want to stop."

Now ...I have to say something here. I have a fair amount of experience in various sexual positions with both men and women, and am aware of the power sharing that goes on and how intimate that aspect of love making is. I have read and written lesbian erotica all my life, watched movies and vids and immersed myself into the L Word, and I understand, though do not always practice, the dom / sub or also the dyke / fem dynamic. In my lovemaking experiences ...it is just never about dyke fem with me and whomever...its just us making love. But ...I have to say that in this moment, with her kissing ME so deeply, squatting over me, me sliding down in the office chair and her rising above me to kiss me deeper, I never freakin felt more in control of a woman in all my experiences. She had gone in minutes from being this close to rejecting me to intensifying our intimacy and letting all of her sexual arousal center upon showing me a willingness to do anything to please me, or at least, please us. Its hard to describe this feeling limited to words, but while she held me more tightly and kissed me more deeply, giving and receiving more tongue, and deeper, with every breathtaking french kiss, she was also surrendering to me and letting me know that she was now mine and any doubts or hesitations were quickly gone. So in this position as she and I kissed, I slide further under her and rose my hips in rythm as my swelling and throbbing for her grew by the second. Its in this moment that I have to say that if I never felt like I was a dyke or a dom, for the moment anyway, I felt it and honestly, felt it so strong that the thought flashed through my mind of wishing I had something there for her to ride. My earliest lesbian fantasies had occassionally contained a strap on fantasy, but I'd say for about 5 years or so, that thought was gone and I just had decided I felt I no longer wanted that ...which was especially solidified with my last gf and all of our passionate tribbing. But in this position under her and the way she was kissing me, and I was kissing her, I pushed my hips into her and she "umphs" sweetly into my mouth in our kiss, and I responded with a moan of my own and push up into her again ...louder and more intently into my mouth her next grunt ...and if she it is like this it feels so good and I don't care what the label is, I am there with her and for her.

Our kiss breaks and our eyes lock onto one another and in between pants I am able to say the only thing I can utter, "You don't know what you are doing to me." And she responds, "You don't know what you have done to me." My blood is rushing through my veins like never before, and my mouth wants to devour her and my pussy wants to grind her but I resign and admit in almost a whimper, " we can't do this here." Such a look a dissapointment on her face, which I am sure matched my own, "I don't want to stop....Brenda we CANT stop."


I pouted and frowned and moaned and felt all the sexual pent up frustration and tried to fight the urge to lay her down on the floor of the office right there ...nobody would likely see ...but it was possible enough that I wouldnt take that chance and knew she wouldn't want to either, no matter what her adorable, surrendering eyes were saying.

"This is happening so fast...I just wanted to tell you ....I didn't know this was going to get like this."

"I can't believe what you are doing to me," she replied. "I have never been this wet in my life."

"I know baby ..me too ...I wanted this for so long ...I've been wet for you many nights. In my fantasies I have already made love to you a million times."

"You have ? I mean...wow..thats just so unreal." I knew it had been so much so fast....catching our breath and knowng what could come next.

"So are we going to have a date ?"


"hmmmmm definitely....but I don't want to wait ...but i know we can't do this here....can't you come home with me for a little while ?"

"You want that ? now? so soon ?"

"Ive never wanted anything more."

I put my arms around her neck and looked into her eyes. I had sure wanted to make love to her for the longest time, and summoned the courage on this day to risk my very job and ask out my co-worker on a lesbian date. In the million thoughts I thought in a split second were included the possibility that if I did not act now, I may never have another chance. She could decide she is "not that way," as my high school best friend so painfully put it in turning me down. I had to be sensitive about the fact that if this was happening wayyy too fast for me, the one who instigated all this, imagine how blindingly fast it was happening for her. I even contemplated the possibility that if I didn't make love to her this instant, that she might think it was ME who was rejecting her and pull away. How fast this thunderstorm had turned into a tornado ...I was torn between damage control, and letting go of myself with not control and reckless abandon.

I gave her a quick peck on the lips and first ran my fingers through her hair. "What are we going to do?" I asked, and she whispered an ever so lusty whisper, "what are we going to do."

I reached down and grasped her hand and guided it to between my legs and put it upon my warm, wet mons that she could feel swollen and moist through the fabric. She absolutely froze for a second ....so when she didn't push her palm into my softness, I pushed her hand firmly into the heat of my desire for her. I felt her go limp against me and her wrist began a motion that caused me to gasp. No woman needs teaching of touch ...just courage and encouragmenet to do it. "baby," I whispered, "That's gonna be there for us when we have our date. It's not going away ....You made me want to make love to you more than anyone ever ..bar none. And this, " I said as I reached towards her warmth between her legs and gently but firmly massaged my message into the damp fabric of her excitement, "this is what we both feel right now and will the next time...but baby... But it can't be this way, so I am sorry ...SORRY that I didn't plan for more time with you if this had happened. I could have guessed you were so passionate ...I didn't believe you'd be so ready to be this passionate with me. I mean, if you think I surprised YOU today ...you surprised ME ten times more in the way that you kissed me. So ... PLEASE give me another chance...just you and me...(kiss) this weekend (soft kiss) ...just you and me (kiss) ...any way you want ." And I kissed her more deeply and passionately and with more determination to express my affection than I have kissed any woman or ever will. She had to know my heart in that kiss, or I feared, I might lose her. When her tongue started kissing me harder and her wrist action rotated her palm against my pussy in such a way as to begin to build an orgasm , my frustration in the situation let out an combination of moan and grunt that opened her eyes, and widely peering into mine for a clue for what was to come, I picked her hand off my crotch and sighed a very deep sigh and told her all I could say to sum it up, " girl....you don't know ...you just have NO idea what you have done to me today."

And so ..it was soooo hard gathering ourselves in between the looks we gave each other, the hand squeezes, the longing looks, the numerous hugs in the next ten minutes, and a tender, emotional, passionate kiss before we left my office and headed for the door.


In the several days before our "date", I have to confess that work was awkward when we were in the same room or working on our project together. Frankly, all that I FEARED about having a relationship with a co-worker came to fruition, including a moment when we staunchly disagreed about something and I sensed that if SHE didn't get her way, the underlying message was that the tryst between us might be in danger. I quickly gave her her way. At the start of the next day and the day after, you could cut the tension in the room with a knife between us ...but each night we emailed each other the fondest things and the mutual looking forward to our night together.


She reminded me about 100 times that she didn't know what she was doing because she had never done this, she wondered if I was going to "teach her," to which I replied that she would need no teaching based on what we experienced in my office, and when she asked me to flat out tell her exactly what we were going to be doing together, I responded with an email.

Babe,

You seem to want me lay out a roadmap of what we are going to be doing Friday night. I am sure that your fantasies of what is to be and mine will have some similarity, and some vairance. I know you are nervous ...and I soooo wish we could have consummated our love the other night at the office so that all of this wonder and doubt would be resolved. Even though we didnt come to orgasm together, I want to tell you that the other night is one of the most wonderful sexual experiences of my life. Having said that, there are some things you just want to be reassured about ..and I am glad to share some of that so that we both will feel more comfortable.

The first thing to know is that nothing is going to happen that you don't want to happen. We are big girls and if it weren't to feel right, than that would be that and we could go back to being good friends and nothing more. But leaving it at that is not what I sensed from you when I made my shameless pass at you. Nobody ever kissed me back like that. Nobody ever made me want to penetrate her soul like you did. So ...I will be honest ..if I had my way, tomorrow night we'd skip dinner and go straight to the bedroom. Is that crass of me to say ? I just can't wait to pick up where we left off. When I was asking you out, I meant that ..let me buy you dinner and Mohito ...let me relax you and get to know you more intimately and THEN make love to you. But it seems that we started something the other night that we can't stop ..at least thats what I think. SO ...if you want to know what tomorrow night is going to be like ...how about I show up with a pizza and some wine coolers and we take it from there. If you will let me, I want to show you pleasure that you have only imagined. I want to give you my whole self ..my lips, my tongue, my fingers and all that I have to give you ...and all I want back from you is appreciation. Will you be nervous, YES and I respect that but know that even though I have done this before and you haven't, I will be nervous ..NOT because it is with you...being with you is the most natural thing I can think of right now...but because I want to live up to your expectations and give you everything I can. Rome wasn't built in a day my love ...so know that even though there are a MILLION ways I want to make love to you, there are only a few that we will have time for :) so let that be our night. Let me drink in your beauty in every way and show you what I have been feeling for you for so long. Tomorrow night we will be one.

Love

B


End part One


Part II

Her wavy hair was done up perfectly, as though she had agonized over every strand in the mirror ...I knew it was that way because it was that way for me. I had arrived overdressed compared to her ...because she had taken me literally and had dressed up for me in the most provocative ensemble she could come up with. Her light blue cowl neck tunic draping low, and a skin tight yellow V neck T underneath that traced the outline of her beautiful breasts much like on the day when we participated in the charity car wash and her body was the drawing card for the day. She was barefoot when she greeted me with a hug and a kiss on the cheek and a welcome that hinted at what was to come with us very soon. While she was the natural beauty of the two of us, I had predictably gone bold with the color in my makeup and style ...I always feel like my lips are more kissable with a brighter red and had gone with a darkened, sultry look for my eyes ...I felt these things I did exemplified that we were NOT at work ..this was different. I had worn a black baby doll mini dress with long sleeves and a scooped neckline, and a carefully chosen heart bead necklace that dipped into my cleavage.


But after dinner those clothes didn't last. Conversation was a kind of forced natural ...no work talk ...compliments to the chinese chefs who made it easy for me to pick up and deliver for the night. A lead in of “a bit spicy,” welcomed the , “I think a lot of things will be spicy tonight.” Oh does it have to be that way in conversation ...so predictable but, yet, unavoidable. Small talk...seemingly wayyy too much small talk when both of us were squirming for what was next.



“So what now ? “ she asked.


“Are you saying its my choice ?”


“mmmhmmm” she nodded yes.


“hmmmm..the cozy living room couch, or the mystery of your bedroom ? Is that really my my choice tonight....I can't deny...um"

I was about to go longwinded about why we didn't need to rush and why I didn't want her to do anything she didn't want to do, when she agressively grabbed my hand in hers and said convincingly "I want to go to bed and screw (aw how sexy she sounded when she said "screw...it poured out of her mouth slowly.....delightful) ...."Lets get out of these fucking clothes and do what we came here to do."


It was not the last time that night she could simply state the obvious and assure me with both words, actions, and her passion that she was wayyy beyond the "virginal" aspect from her standpoint. She had clearly rationed that we were taking our close friendship to the sexual level, and perhaps sensing my apprehension to just lustily claim the spoils of my successful lesbian seduction of a (previously) straight girl, she was out to demonstrate to me that not only was she in this willingly and wantingly, but even to further heighten my overwhelming amazment at her unforseen urgency to make love, here on the brink she was so anxious and had seemingly even calcultated (correctly) that I would be turned on to know that she was not just there to be "my girl," but in essence, wanted to convey that she wanted to be "my dirty girl." There you have it ...that's where we started ...where we jumped forward, thanks to her, that she wanted to be my lesbian dirty girl. I was wowed beyond jaw dropping astonishment, but squeezed her hand as I got up out of my chair, and confidently said ," take me to your bedroom then Marcia."


In the darkened bedroom, I guess we both decided there was little light but that would be enough, trying to go slowly when it was in neither of our hearts for the moment, we began to loosen our clothes and standing before each other, helped each other towards fully exposing ourselves in the glow. Though it was dark, I could clearly make out her curves, and her eyes drinking in the sight of me nude, and as I was to her, an object now of lesbian sexuality. I remembered this new feeling from my first time, and the realization that our bodies and skin were to be one and warm together. We embraced gently and tingly at first....then in full body contact, I, the taller of us, bending down slightly watched her crane her neck upward at me and fall into me lightly, as I swooped into a peck on the lips softly that turned into more of a hug than a kiss, with me quickly going down to suckle her neck and feel her warm, nude body close to mine.



Her eyes in the soft light were trusting and smiling at me ... I had wanted to start in a kind of way that we left off ...with her upon my lap. So I was first to break the embrace and sit upon her bed and beckon “Come here and sit like we did before ...except this will be a bit more comfortable.”

And I pulled her onto my lap, and for a moment it was gawky but I held her up and took her firmly in my arms.


The first kiss was a bit awkward, not that she was fighting it, but I believe she was ready for a more passionate kiss than the slight one I began with. In fact, in every moment where I guessed that I should hold back a little and proceed with caution, she proved to me that I misjudged her. Her inexperience was hardly a hindrance to passion she longed to give and receive. At first Marcia's lips pressed against mine softly, and I felt her shaking just a bit as I embraced her. I looked at her boobs and realized her nipples were hard, as were mine. All through me the excitement rushed and I told her to relax and to hold me in between our ever growing in intensity kisses. I wanted to make out with her all night because her lips were so soft and her skin felt so warm and inviting next to mine ..on top of mine .....but just making out was not going to be enough for either of us for very long.


We changed position with me pulling her down upon the bed at first with her on top of me. Her tongue kept slipping from in between my lips, to this wonderful encircling of the roof of my mouth and deeply her tongue probed ...I had never been kissed by a woman so deeply as the other day by her, and she was only kissing me deeper tonight. I moaned when she entered me so forcefully, and our movements became more in synch. She coped with her nervousness by seizing control of our mouths and tongues entwined, and I was soooo willing to let go with her. Again, I emphasize, my "dirty girl."


"You know what I am going to do here in a minute," I whispered, and she nodded her head no in a sort of fake "no”.... and we reversed position and I climbed on top of her and splashed my wet pussy down upon her thigh. I lifted my own thigh against her mons and felt her drenched as I was, and I whispered , "I'm going to lick you ...suck you...with everything I've got ....and I'm never gonna stop." Her eyes widened at those words, and with that I began to move my mouth down her neck to her shoulders, lingering in the softness of her skin there, down to her breast and sucking in her erect nipple getting even stiffer as I softly and then more firmly inhaled it and sucked a bit harder , coaxing the first of her many moans that night. "let it go baby,...I am yours." "It feels so good" she said in a half erotic and half giggling tone. I couldn't wait to get to her pussy with my fingers, and my own clit was throbbing in anticipation of all that was to come.


As my finger parted her wet lips and entered her, I felt her clinch up a bit before realizing how gentle and slow I intended to be. Then my lips and tongue hungrily cascaded downward while I gently fingered her, arriving between her thighs, where I licked and kissed and moaned into her. I rolled my boob upon her thigh and let her feel my stiff nipples upon them, sharing with her a favorite sensation of something I have particularly enjoyed done to me, and finally, I parted her lips with my thumb and forefinger and began to lick her slowly, lightly grazing her clit at first, before eliciting her moans, gasps, and cries of disengaged incoherent passionate encouragement of the talents of my tongue. My own pussy ached as I plunged deeper and more determined into hers. plunging my tongue or licking her up and down in the crevice and up to her clit again. She shuddered quite violently and the “OH!” that came out of her when I increased the tempo in a technique I like to use where I am slow , slow, and then rapid for about 15 seconds sounded surprised as much as the pleasure she felt and also made ME feel . She didn't come at that moment but it was so incredible to feel her react and I stopped and smiled up at her and her eyes half shut and in ecstasy slowly smiled back, then her hands on the back of my head told me she wanted me to not stop,and gently guided me back to where I didn't want to go away from anyway.


I knew she was close, and was ready to orchestrate the first of her orgasms. After another minute or so of licking softly / then rapidly / then softly again ...she cried a rythmic "I am so, I am so...oh my ...so close... close...oh god...oh oh ,” and then squealing, “don't stop," and pushed my head deep into her. I kissed her passionately and sucked in her clit, twirling my tongue and entering her with two fingers to coax her explosion.


My mouth could not get enough of her that night and I got her off again and again and again ...her whimpering a few times that we had to stop or she couldn't take anymore or when she told me there weren't anymore in her, I took it as a challenge and went right back at it. This is me as a lover of women. Every time it has been a long time since I went down on a woman, once I start, I do not want to stop and almost can't. Yes, there are times when my tongue gets tired and I just raise up, use my fingers a bit more, rest my head upon her hips until I regain the strength to continue. When the orgasms hit and then subside, I slow down to almost nothing, or kiss upon thighs, or one time with her I gently plopped my right breast down upon her pussy and let her feel my softness and stiff nipple. reach down to enter myself sometimes but I don't intensely masturbate...just keeping it interested and moving the wetness around and making room for more. But finally, after a 6th orf 7th of her orgasms, I answered her plea to "come up here and kiss me on the mouth," and we snuggled together with me at her side, hand upon her breast, after kissing her deeply, laying my head upon her shoulder and letting the quiet amazement set in.


“Are you finally ready for me?” she asked, and I knew she meant that she wanted to reciprocate what I had done with her. “I am not good at laying back and letting someone “do” me ...I have to know that you really want to.”


“I can't go another minute without knowing what you taste like. I have to know what its like when you come. “


“Then...(deep breath) I'm ready.”


I rolled on my back and she simultaneously mounted me on top ..her smaller frame upon my larger one ...easily I supported her weight and pulled her more directly on top of me before meeting her mouth with a wide open tongue penetrating powerful demonstration of the incredible lust, if not feeling something akin to love for her that energizing moment.


We were kissing such a deep kiss and our legs were entertwined when she began rythmically humping me and I was humping her back. It was wonderful to be kissed and held this way ..it was like she had been doing it all her life. We broke our kiss and my legs gripped her tighter , wrapping around the cheeks of her butt and pulling her closer to me that way. We are nose to nose, looking into each others eyes. I had been so incredibley horny when I was bringing her offr for that hour that my pussy was quite literally soaked and on fire. My juice was running freely and as she bumped the perfect spot again and again, my right leg began to quiver while the muscles tensed ...and precursor to some of my most powerful orgasms and usually a sign that the 2nd, third and fourth orgasms will so easily follow and tumble into one another. I wanted not only to feel her mouth on my breasts and all over and down to my pussy, but I mostly wanted her to WANT to do it to me. I knew that I had shaken her sexual world with my mouth and the way I used it on her with my fingers and tongue ...but what would really tip her into a different sexual realm and cross her from the whatever she has imagined, and the knowing of true lesbian desire, would be when she would feel me respond to what she was capable of. Our bodies in the writhing with our legs entwined and the deep kisses were so tightly wound and rocking and rolling together in unison. She was showing me how much I mean to her, not only sexually I knew, but also in the deep friendship we had conveyed for so long as co-workers. We were reaching a new plateu each minute and I wanted more than her to hump fuck me to coming ....not because I wouldn't have loved to have come that way with her or anyone else I cared for anytime, but because I knew deep down that she had had her mind on going down on me for days, and it was time to answer her questions and doubts about what that would be like.


“Can you go down on me tonight ...I know you might not be ready.”


"fuck you," she mocked in a half laugh. Ok ..I knew I was ready, but it was the thing you say when its someones first time ..but she had long ago proven she was ready for EVERYTHING lesbian love had to offer. And I have to say she made me feel at every turn in the night that it wasn't just the sexual and orgasmic aspect ...that it was about making love with ME ...and I felt the same way about her. We were soooooo in the bubble together.


She answered by snapping her head downward towards my breast, squeezing it very very firmley, dragging her nails upwards until her fingertips encircled my nipple and then replaced her fingers with her lips and inhaled my nipple...biting tenderly ..sucking and swirling her tongue while her hand went right down to my crotch like she couldnt wait another second to feel my wetness and mingled in the moisture for a few seconds before entering me like an expert immediately with two fingers ...it was almost impossible to believe she had never done this before, except for that I knew when I had my first sexual experience with a woman when I was 18, that I proceeded in giving her pleasure with no doubt or hesitation at any point...hungering and devouring each new unexplored sensation.


When she sucked upon my right nipple I loved holding her first by her arms and then running my fingertips upon her back scraping and gripping her tightly when the technique she used for that moment would cause me to convulse. My hips kept pushing against her fingers ...the only guidance I gave was in whispering to her “not so deep,” while gently disengaging her fingers which were penetrating me a bit more than I usually feel right with. I wanted her to more dance upon my lips and my clit and in the tangles of my pubic hair and upon my thighs rather than get the finger fucking she felt I must need based on my writhing beneath her. My larger hands could almost encircle her biceps and I enjoyed a feeling of control even though she so totally had me like putty in the palm of her hand and within the creativity of her tongue and lips sucking and nibbling my nipples and making love to my large breasts, made to feel even larger in her smallish hands.


She was moaning into my breasts, clearly enjoying her new mission to excite me so wonderfully ..I wanted to playfully DEMAND that she eat me now, but I was afraid she wouldnt understand I was playing, so I gave it a few more minutes and tried to squirm against her and underneath her allow her to realize how ready I was for what was next.


“Gonna suck it now ok ?”


“Gonna do what baby ?”


“Gonna go down on you now,” she stated while still sucking on my fully erect nipple.


“Gonna make me come with your mouth ?”


“Gonna try “


“You know how much I feel for you right now?”


“You know what I feel for you right now? God baby its so deep,” and she looked up again with those so trusting, beautiful eyes ...I caressed her hair, reached down and grabbed her breast in the palm of my hand and rolled her around in my fingertips again, feeling her surrender, I gave her my blessing... “Marcia ...please make love to me with your mouth now.”



I have to tell you that the beautiful noises we both made the next half hour make me wish we had the episode taped somehow. The thing I will never forget was the way that when she sucked me into her mouth so perfectly, or licked me with her tongue that when I would moan or cry out or exclaim something like “oh baby” or something dirtier while it was happening, that she would answer me ...like a duet ..like a harmony ..with a moan or delightful noise of some sort from her own subconscious of being in that we were completely acting on instinct,and doing it the first time in making love together, so naturally and so wonderfully that the surreality of it all was astounding.


Something I have to say about her tongue. Wow ...it was either lengthier ...but thats not the case...but the WAY SHE USED IT was lengthier and got deeper into my crevice and flattened against more of a surface of my clit and labia in unison each time she extended it and she knew and thus provided a different sensation than I had felt with any other lover, male or female before. She had sense that what she would do with her tongue was to get it farther out from her lips and use it as a tool. Well...see, I think I would be the one to have concentrated on this as a method at least once in my life, but alas, it never occurred to me what this might do. At first I was a bit humored by the sight of it sticking so far out ...almost as an insect needing to be fed. But I loved her concentrated her intentions were on my pleasure, and the way she used that tongue on me had my eyes rolling back and my panting increasing and my quivering right leg gave way to one powerful explosion of orgasmic bliss after another after another in that half hour of pure, deep, fulfilling to the core passion between us.

She took to another technique of just taking her tongue and sticking it out upon my sex and shaking her head back and forth so fast, making contact upon my clit and all that is around it, licking and slapping me there and wildly provoking a surge of wetness in one of my orgasms that was unprecedented in an initial lovemaking experience.


Her tongue and fingers were bringing me ultimate pleasure but it was her willingness and wanton desire that was gripping my very soul like so many tentacles in the moments of the peaks of my pleasure. I certainly have shown, in every act of lovemaking in my entire life, a devotion to my partners pleasure in every way ...and it was just nice to feel that so reciprocated from someone who had every reason to hold back, and yet was letting all of her passions flow with me and for me and giving herself completely to me just as I longed to and fulfilled the desire to give myself to her.


Wave after wave after wave of of my gratification inundated her ...I've seen vids of women who squirt, and I am not one of those, and wonder how much of those vids are staged and camera tricked, but I am definitely someone who after a level of satisfaction is reached, uncontrollably gush copious amounts of fluid emanating from deep within me and the hot, wet, thin wetness that soaked my thighs and her neck and chin I knew were a surreal and unexpected part of the experience. "We should have grabbed a towel," I said ...or rather whimpered at one point knowing that she was realizing the gushing as much as I and I being of so many damn words sometimes needed to comment, and reassurance that she wasn't grossed out. She wasn't I knew then and further explored with her later ...and she told me that moment "it's ok...no problem," those words muffled by what she continued to do with such intensity as to inspire rapture after rapture from my loins. But the wetness ..well ...it was part of me ...and it is what it is ..and when it was over I told her that it never happened like that with a woman the first time we did it and that she should know that should explain how stunning making love with Marcia had been.


Laying in the wetness getting colder there on the bed with us so warmly holding each other for so long after our experience ...we both knowing and then verbalizing how much things had changed. We whispered and cooed to each other in caress and embrace, full enveloped in each others affection and the wonderment of the dawning or our love.

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