Who Am I ? akiss2desire is a Bible Belt Blogging Bi Big Beautiful Babe who has been sharing her writing, mostly 1st person lesbian erotica, short stories, poetry, and lesbian pop culture realizations from both the experience and fantasy perspectives to an ever growing audience. I recently passed a million page views ! Thanks for the nominations for the Lezzie awards honoring best lesbian erotica on the web.

Those who have come here regularly know that I have taken a bit of a hiatus from posting and publishing, but my past work is still here and if you are new here there is much to be consumed. I am working on several stories right now and writing from the same mix of experience and fantasy that readers have told me they loved.

Those stories will be the foundation of my upcoming compilation book. Today, you get to read for free. Welcome, and I hope you stay awhile.

Monday

For she who lives too far away

feedback to akiss2desire@gmail.com 
Part one --to our first lesbian kiss



Ever aware of the sexuality and sensuality of my being before we make love, our eyes meet across the room, and even though we are far apart n body and moments away from our first embrace of the night, the waltz of our encounter is beginning as our eyes meet one anothers, my white satin gown with lavendar lace framing my cleavage, chosen for just you and just this night softly caresses my skin beneath and feels especially tingly against my ample, half exposed bosom. Its not only the fire in the cabin that creates the heat in the room. The look of your eyes shows an appreciation, a hunger that I share looking at you with unbridled attraction, and the forces between us create a communication for which the two of us need not speak words.

A sixth sense of the presence of your eyes and the want to touch me givees me sensation as if you actually are ....as if your roaming eyes are turned into hands by means of your spirit and desire, and our night in the cabin promises all the sexual pleasures we two women crave to give and receive from one another, our sexual consumation long delayed, but our love and devotion long ago solidified in the notes and emails and chats where we realized our own very special place in the mixed up world of our closet lesbian pursuits. Fire in your eyes and fire in mine so much so that I avert my gaze to the side, not being able to fully handle the intensity we both share ....wanting everything we dreamed of in one moment, in one hour, in one night, in one orgasm. But, with patience we know will be rewarded, I am savoring every second and can tell you are too. Our long awaited night of making love with each other has arrived. Our hugs and our brief kiss earlier, while they are memories I will cherish forever, are not what is about to come, for the next time we embrace, our bodies coming together in all out response to one anothers touch, kiss, and pursuasion, we can finally let go and enjoy one another as only two women can. This next hug, we both know, will turn into so much of what we have promised one another, and the anticipation for us both is that because of our affection for one another, the experience will be more meaningful than whatever sexual experience preceded this night for either of us.

Your discussions of your inexperience with women are on both of our minds for certain, but I am determined not to be a teacher, but rather to guide your body and mind to firstly allow itself all that we can become in the hours to come, and also, to make love as your soul guides you to do, with no instruction manual needed, just the knowledge of your being a woman and respect of the desire between us. Your instinct will be your teacher and all the pleasure I will require from you, and we will each fall comfortable into the give and take of sharing the power from minute to minute ...from kiss to engaging, deeply persuasive french kiss. Our tongues about to tangle when next we embrace, and you are thinking it is unlike anything you have felt before, but its not just a truth for you. I am about to feel every pleasure you will through you ...you are about to know the bubble we will be in together with every concern of the universe shielded from the togetherness of just us two.

The spark between us as we walk together and the light shiver running through my body and the flash of uncertain hunger in your eyes ...it all slows down as if in a dream...we have not even touched but sensations are roaming my body and especially, when your piecing eyes welcome me without fear, my loins feeling heavy and achy, excited for the dampining I cannot wait for you to know. My tongue wets my lip gloss covered lips, my eyes shyly downward glance before relishing your beauty one more time before I take you into my arms, and you take me into your own. Fall against my body, our breasts erotically bump and then squash into each other in the indescribably arousing sensation that provides us both, and before our kiss I tear my eyes away from yours to once again drink in the head to toe allure of the beauty of your young body, the creamy skin of your legs, the silky fabric of the sexy nightgown you chose for our rendezvous tonight, the round fullness of your breasts and the shy embarrased, but wiling smile your give me as if to say "I'm ready."

"I love you Meagan," I whisper before deciding that instead of your lips, my lips will first follow the trace of my nails along the nape of your neck with a soft sucking kiss there, and then, upward my head tilts, feeling the softness of your cheek against my cheek, my eyes closed and I would love to know if yours are or not, but I keep mine shut while grazing against your lips ...closed but then inviting, melting then into yours, tongue warmly, wetly parting your lips and entering you softly first, then flicking and flirting its way past your teeth, and as your mouth and mine fully open each others, the longest, most passionate, deepest kiss with our tongues warmly dancing upon one another, I firmly hold you as I feel your knees go weak and I know that our love is shown as strong and powerful as any on earth in our rolling, velvet soft and trembling in desire for all we ever wanted.

Friday

Q & A for akiss2desire


Well I promised on facebook, where I have been posting some things just for those who are on there with me, including a lesbian kiss image compilation today, that I would answer your questions on Friday and so here I am  to do that.  I honestly didn't get quite the response I thought I would ...keeps my ego in check.  Perhaps having "fans" isn't the same as really having fans.  I am  just a lesbian erotica blogger for goodness sakes. But a couple of questions happened and I really do want to open up  and let you get to know me a little.

Do you fuck on the first date ?

uhh..yes...I think that by the time I meet wiht someone the feelings are already pretty much in place and there just doesnt seem to be much to be gained by pretending that it isnt about sex if there is mutual attaction.

When are you going to post a picture of yourself ?

I am getting to it ..I am not a total mystery but am not ready to add my image to the site yet ..I want you to be turned on  ! ! ! (dont want to scare you away )
My friends and lovers say I have nice eyes , Large bust by nature of being bbw, and I like to laugh and have fun. That , I hope, is a good description of what you'd see.  


You write this and have lesbian affairs but you are still married ?

Yes.  My marital relationship is complicated and bluntly he is not a part of this at all and although I am taking a few more chances in my life, I have been blessed by being able to keep my bedroom desires very discreet in a small town.

How can you be lesbian if you are married to a man ?
 Another way of asking the previous question.  In the last couple of years I have become more "lesbian" on the spectrum if there must be a label.  While I have had some wonderful experience with both younger women and older women ..I havent found the true connection for anything more than the fleeting moments of orgasmic sex ...which is well-- is wonderful of course ...but  I am a giver in search of an appreciater. And the only sexual relationship I am interested in is with women.  I think that defines me as lesbian.

Are you dom or sub ?
Well, I am a giver ..my strongest desire in bed is to give my lover what she wants, needs, and dsires completely ..and I know that sometimes what I am giving her is ME in the throes of desire, so that doesn't always mean I am giving oral ..sometimes "giving" means receiving what she wants to give.   That doesn't mean I am dom or sub ..I am just me. And I continue to look for "her" who most compliments what I am.

Are your stories real ?
I always say that they are a mixture of reality and fantasy but I have written some true stories that are to the true to the bone.  If I only wrote what actually happened, this would be a short blog with not too many entries...I always tell women I meet on chat that I have made love a million times in a million differnt ways to a million different women.  THAT is not true ..but it is in my mind.

What is your favorite lesbian fantasy that you havent yet written about?

Ok ...I am not a kinky girl ..but I have to tell you that the story that was in the news lately about the two lesbian teachers going at it while the whole school was at assembly intrigued me.  I love the idea of locking a door, and acting upon passion.  I think about it alot ...For reasons I won't go into here I have been in a few hospital rooms and often think if I said just the right thing to the right nurse, she would have a place in that hospital we could get away.

I have also had a work in progress for more than  a year that I cant seem to finish.  It's called "The Slumber Party" and you might understand what its about.  It turns out, sooooo many women had their first experience at a slumber party, and I guess I just feel like I missed out, so I want to write my fantasy into existence.

Do you enjoy BSDM?
It has nto been what I feel and see myself as..but if I really care for someone and thats what she needs, I could go there.  I probably would need to hold the whip LOL

Dear akiss2desire
Your site is great for all of your stories, but the images you have are the hottest lesbian kissing scenes I have found anywhere.  Where do you get your pictures ? Are you in any of them >?

First of all, no I am not in any of them, but I WISH.  I am always looking for the right feeling in the images for this blog.  The images have to compliment my writing.  Almost always the images are safe for work ...very few actual boob shots, although a couple of times it was needed to show more skin to illustrate the writing.  I look at quite a few lesbian vids and many are vidcaps of the erotic moments in those.

You're sexy.  What is your favorite lingerie?
THANKS first of all, and secondly, I have a lacy baby blue underwire padded bra with very dramatic lift that makes me feel young again and helps a mid 30s mom with gravity , and a matching lacy skirtered garter.  Neither has been on a date yet :)

Does your dad own a brewery ?
I told you I would answer anything, so ..you asked.   No. What ???

I remember you saying you were going to write a book...any luck getting published yet ? 
I have been roundly and soundly rejected in my goal to get published, with the constructive criticism that stings a bit and says to me "you aren't yet good enough."   I think my goal in 2010 is to win an award for the blog, get as many facebook fans for this blog as I can,  and turn the best posts into a short story compilation for kindle or sony reader.  I know you see ads on this site, but I have never made a nickel on this blog (yet).  I have privacy reasons that I can't commercialize this more...but thats not my main concern.  In fact, most of the time I spent putting ads on here was wasted time, because truth is, if I made a million dollars or if I make nothing, I can't help but write what comes out of me. I will say there is a thing where it says FEEL IT and if women sign up for IFEELMYSELF.com from that link, I get a free month. I will say that the women masturbating and making love on that site are the hottest thing to ever lite up my screen, and I like getting those free months when it happens. And it would be nice to someday be published, not only to make a dollar or two, but to know I was getting my writing in the minds of more women.

Someone recently asked me on a chat if I got off knowing that women get off reading what I wrote.  The short answer is yes. My favorite days are when I get a personal email from someone, and a few women who have written me over the years have become, I hope, longtime friends.   WRITE ME at akiss2desire@gmail.com  and thrill me if you want to.  And if you have a better question than these, I will be glad to respond.

MUCH LOVE TO LONGTIME READERS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

akiss2desire

Sunday

Lesbian Masturbation Monologue for the Horny Bi Mom


 I let my fingers slip down over my belly and down to my mound, and when I squeeze the lips together and roll them back and forth between my thumb and index finger, the wetness slishes and sloshes there and causes a stir deep within. At first my clit tingles and I enjoy the tease, but when it starts to burn, the feeling emanates from my swollen clit and engulfs the whole of my loins, the wet walls of my vagina spilling forth from my lips, and the ache signals my fingers and hands that they can tickle and tease all they want, but at some point, that will be far from enough as I have gone quickly over the edge...from the point where when I touch myself there I might be asking IF I would like to go all the way, and now, short of the ring of the phone or a knock on the door, or a time commitment, my pussy now aches to let this go and there is no turning back.

My mind wanders to what it does when I play with myself.  I get aroused in deep thoughts of not just the act of lesbian sexuality with her, but also for how it comes about and gets to the point where we both are beyond making out, and making love. I allow my fingertips to dally about in the soft hair of my full,trimmed, but admittedly, unfashionable these days not shaven bush and let my fingers mingle in the softness while I imagine two things; one, what it must feel like to any woman who touches me there, and two, my mind fast forwards over how much I enjoyed feeling ever other lovers bush and a snapshot in my memory simultaneously reminds me of how it felt to feel those tufts of fur between my fingertips, and also, what each individual womans pussy felt like and looked like up close and in the sovereign  moment just before my mouth engulfed each lovers  point of pleasure.  Oh that sweet moment most treasured of the seconds just before ...of the dampness, the smell of sex and excitement, the milliseconds passing by like months, and of first electric contact and mutual reaction.

With both hands I explore my anatomy there, once again to imagine what it feels like to someone loving me, and also, to reminisce about how different and unique every woman is down there and how fortunate I am to have enjoyed it first hand and to appreciate it as I believe so many women have missed out on the beauty of every woman's individuality there.  A different texture, folds of skin, of the mixtures of browns and pinks, of protruding and hidden clits and of the varieties of swelling, of the pure differences of basic anatomical placement for which there is so much variance, and of the freeze frames of each lover from the first with her soft pink smoothest folds, and easy to observe and arouse clitoris, to my latest with her more flattened mound and the more hidden treasure of her clit which yielded her uncontrollable and from that point steady shuddering and quivering in whatever way my fingers or tongue stimulated it or around it, such a wonderful discovery as she made me feel like she had never been touched in the ways I gave my love.

When I "jill off," (gosh I love that term lately) it is almost never totally spontaneous.  I have to put a towel down.  Let me emphasize HAVE to, and its always been that way since my teens.  There are a few times when I pick up the towel and realize "hmmm...not neccessary this time," but I never know, and most often, it is a good thing that whether I am arousing myself in bed or being aroused at images, vids, stories or conversation at the computer, the towel is something like a seatbelt ..I feel naked without it, and not in a good way.

I give love to myself by pulling my lips apart and entering with a finger not going all the way, and remembering of the women I made love to the pussy so widely accepting my first finger that I could instantly tell she wanted the second and third digit and the deeper the better, and on the other end of the spectrum, she whose muscles clinched down on my middle finger and let me know that was all she needed for the moment and that the way I was flicking her was good.

I most often masturbate by entering my orifice with my middle finger but buried no further than the second kuckle, while flicking the clit up and down with my thumb.  I should probably videotape it because it probably looks funny, and I have watched vids of women masturbating and haven't seen "my" technique duplicated.  I most often am running a romantic scenario of seduction in my mind while I am doing it, focusing much more on the hand holding, hugging and cuddling, and deep and meaningful kissing and making out that precedes anything orgasmic in making love to a woman.  As the tingles turn into shudders and sparks and my orgasm nears, I'll admit my thoughts become ever more sexual but I almost never think about anything wild or kinky as I approach my moment of truth.  I near orgasm and back down ...prolonging the ultimate until It cant be stopped ...so that when I am nearing the first one, the HUGE one, I get almost there, and then wind down, which is when I add a tickle or massage to my thighs or my breasts.  Playing with my boobs, where frankly, as gentle as I am with my pussy, one might be surprised in the throes of masturbation how hard I squeeze them and how hard I pinch my nipples and pull on them . .. yes, even sucking on them sometimes providing the duality of what it feels like to have them sucked, but most prominent in my mind at that moment, how good it feels to arouse a lover in that way.    Sometimes I come on the second ramp up to the moment ..sometimes its the tenth, and I have no way of describing which way is what way when I do it other than to say that my body clearly tells me that "its time ! "    Just as clearly as my body tells me that, it also tells me, almost as soon as my first come's last throb and pulse , whether the tingles say "thats enough, that was good," or, " I gotta do it again."

With my imagination in full swing when I masturbate, it is pretty much only the moments right before I come ...even just the last 30 seconds or so before I think about something that in real one on one sex would actually make me come.   I might be thinking about making out and luxuriating in the softness of our breasts smooshed togehter while we grind against each other, and then, as my mind says, "its time," the fantasy might change to her licking me, or tribbing me, fingering me, or another fantasy I think of very very often, masturbating for her while she watches me without judgement.  I moan and gasp if I am alone in the house ...always have felt better about making noises and letting them out without apology, while laughing about them after the orgasm subsides.   I don't use words ...you won't find me saying anything audible other than "oh" or "ahh," or "uhhh," (my aren't the vowels wonderful in the throes of sex)  with the possible exception that I use the word "fuck" when something feels especially good.  It comes out more like "ffffuuuuccck," elongated, as my eyes roll to the back of eyelids. 

And in the drawer of the nightstand ...my girls best friends.  I probably only use a vib about 10% or so of the times I masturbate,(that varies like everything else) and I certainly understand the women that use them exclusively, as there was a time in my life when I not only used a vibrator everyday, but felt quite addicted to it enough to where I almost needed a 12 step program to break myself away from it in realizing that in "real sex" it was too difficult to achieve a natural orgasm.   As I have aged, and especially after childbirth, I have found that I much prefer the slower, let my imagination run form of fingering, palming and "rubbing one out."    But vibs give me the big one and the multiple ones reliably, and I like them for times when I am time crunched or,  most often used when I am engaged in lesbian phone sex with someone I have most likely just met in a chatroom. (said the phone sex slut LOL)    My oldest friend, the bug vibrator ..shaped like a little bug and sold as a back massager at Walmart about 8 years ago.  Yes Walmart for your sex toys !   The bug is quiet and I use it by laying down on it, on my stomach with a pillow underneath my belly which makes my boobs more comfortable into the mattress, and  use another pillow to lay my head on to, often biting it and moaning into it if I think I need to be quiet.   I have a tiny 4 inch purple "pocket rocket" type of vibe ...goes straight on the clit, put it there, clinch my thighs, high pitched buzz buzz, guaranteed orgasm and QUICK!  My imagination lacks during the use of this little monster ...and when I am using it, my thoughts are more likely to be the times, if ever, I think of multiple partners, strap ons, fisting, and the like ...the kinkiest stuff I have done or imagined ..but these thoughts come in flashes and without details and the mind is frankly focused on the buzz on my clit and the impending explosions.   I also have a plain old, just like the first one I ever bought at Spencers in my teens, white plastic, 2 C batteries, 6 inch variable speed doo-hickey, which is the only thing I want to enter me.   I have used it in conjunction with the other two, laying on the bug, reaching behind myself to us it to enter from behind, fucking in and out and the overwhelming sensation was a bit of an over stimulation and too much to keep track of, and I have used it with the purple one as well, with an inablity to concentrate on both as I neared orgasm, giving up on the dual vibe idea and just letting the pocket rocket "do me." 

Yes, I admit in masturbation, that vibs have their place, but I prefer to slowly build by reading or writing  erotica or watching a lesbian vid, and slowly getting to where it feels more intimate and sensual ...and how strong the mind must be to overcome the fact that I am alone, and that when I think of her, whomever "her" might be at the moment, that I must  totally immerse myself into that fantasy because the touch is mine, her tongue is far away, and the afterglow has elements of regret, self pity, loneliness and despair.

When I come, if I am nude, I want the blankets back over me quickly and snuggley.  If I have a nightgown on , or panties and a tshirt, my nipples, hard as a bullet when I come, cry for attention and massage.  The warmth of release through my entire body, especially down my legs, and the tingle turned to tickle at my clit retreating under its own cover.   For a moment, sleep seems irresistable, but give it a few minutes and I always feel refreshed and energized emerging from the glow.  If I look in the mirror, my chest will be have the characteristic red splotches for 10 or 15 minutes and the urge to pee will be along shortly.  The URGE to come ...oh gawd that URGE has been quelled until the next time I can be alone, and take care of it uninterrupted.  I almost start counting down the minutes til the next time.

Friday

My First Lesbian Sexual Experience



This was hard to write ..it took a long time and the more I wrote, I remember telling a friend I just didnt seem to be able to get to the "good part."  It was a very emotional story for me to get out. 

Sharing it with the newer readers of my blog :)


The Moment Of Lesbian Inevitability Finally Realized.

My First Time Story

By Brenda
All Rights Reserved

On a snowy January day when school was out...SHE CALLED. It is important to know that Donna had NEVER called me. I was sleeping in..the phone rang..I debated should I pick it up or keep sleeping.

"Hi Brenda, this is Donna"... The shiver down my body. Did I wake you up?

Just a little

So I don't know if you can do it or not...but I have a favor to ask...I sprained the hell out of my ankle and I can hardly get around the apartment, much less up and down the stairs. I'm on crutches and its icy..and I'm worried about how much MORE damage I can do to myself if I fall face down three flights of stairs...
so..could you ..sometime today...could you come walk the dog? I mean..I'd pay you.

For goodness sakes we;re friends...you dont have to pay me!

Well..I know...ok..but ...I tell you what..I rented a couple of movies and if you dont have plans we could have a snow day together you know, just ...hanging out...watching a video...if you want...I'd love it.

Why this was significant...she's not saying that me and Cheryl or Julie, or Becky or JoJo ...she was inviting me...just me...and I knew right then that it was almost certainly a "thing" and not just a friendly visit...I knew right then this was a date...I knew right then I wanted her and I to really kiss...perhaps more..and I knew that moment that it was probably going to happen TODAY.


AND I was exhilarated.
AND I was scared. I knew what I wanted...but I also knew I didnt have a true idea WHAT was going to happen. Fear and anticipation ...such a mixture of emotions.



Hey...when you get here..don't knock..its open ok ?


We agreed it would take me 45 mins to an hour to get ready. I could have been there in 20 minutes really...but I was showering and dressing for a date.







So..it was come over and walk the dog....that was the pretense..but instinticively I knew that after all the buildup..., something was maybe going to happen. I didn't think neccesarily that that meant sex..but I was pretty sure that ..at least... some answers were about to come my way about what was ...well I hope what was going to be "us." I also knew that there was a chance that nothing at all about the night we held hands and snuggled might be said...or that she might want to talk to me to put the brakes on the crush on her I had revealed. I would come armed with my letter if it might come in handy. As it was though...I showered, perfumed and dressed as I would for a date. I would look my best..my sexiest... for the first time in my life I was shaving my legs, trimming my bush, putting on makeup and adjusting a bra and blouse to show my boobs for a girl. I chose my best "screw me" bra, the soft red front hook underwire with lacy embroidery,...the bra that Thomas, the 32 year old married man I had shamefully given myself to on two afternoons had called "the most seductive thing he had ever seen," and added over that an oversize red design squareneck that let my pushed up cleavage pour out of, along with my favoritedenim skirt. I didn't go all "Saturday Night" with the eyemakup and touch of lipgloss...but it sure wasn't a snowy monday morning look as well. At least I kept the low heel shoes fairly casual because of the ice ...I needed something easy to walk in. I was doing all of this for her. I looked in the mirror before walking over and gave myself a talk...."this is it Brenda." I thought of a million things I might say ..but as I left my apartment and began the short few hundred yards walk to her place, as I got closer, my mind was overloaded ..I was just in a fog and my blood was rushing and my heart was palpitating.





That the very fact that she called meant that she was at least considering something that this was a call to see if I was really interested .. but... there was no way to prove our feelings were mutual without going out on quite a limb...making a bona fide pass or saying something obvious. On that walk I sooooo wished she would be the one...but I told myself that I was not leaving without letting her know how I feel. But it was the way she said that morning about 8:30 on the phone call ,"lets just hang out and see what happens, " that i began to dare to dream that for the first time we would be alone ..and perhaps i would get the answer to a longstanding question I had with her...which was..wonder what it would be like if we could just be alone together. We had never truly been THIS alone before. And HOW LONG had I wanted THIS.



Even though she said to come in, I knocked, and entered at the "come IN," command. The dog greeted me, and there was Donna with her ankle wrapped and elevated on the couch ...crutches beside her and still in comfortable sweatpants and braless grey tshirt ...her hair in a ponytail and a cup of coffee at her side ...I was overdressed. Completely. And by the looks of her ankle and crutches...I felt like that hot and heavy makeout session I had mapped out was at this point going to be off the table. I had really let my hopes get too high, and needed a dose of reality. She wasnt on crutches, fending off pain when we held hands that night in the kitchen. SO...I let my wants be doused for a moment...but it was just a moment. She saw to that.


I took her dog on a pretty long walk. The cold wind was blowing on my face that morning and I was probably about as confused about a relationship as I have ever believed I could be. But as I walked her dog, a sweet knee high collie who wasnt taking any direction for me in where our path would lead, I replayed what had happened before I attached the chain and listened to her instructions about the hows and ways to take her pup around the apartment complex. My hand was on the doorknob and I was rezipping my coat when she emphasized to me "THANK YOU for doing this Brenda....you've always been such a good friend to me and....(fairly long pause) I have ALWAYS been more attracted to you then any guy or girl I have ever known. I think we have something special between us, don't you ?"

And I thought..."did she just say attracted??? did she mean that the way I thought she meant it?" And when I looked at her I knew she did. HOW does one act at this defining moment. Well...I am the most awkward person in the world. "You are soooo the coolest" I said...and she said " You are Brenda, and I have never seen you look as beautiful as you do right now....so hurry back!" I just did not know what to say ...I leaned in and we hugged a tight hug that ended with me totally holding her up to make sure she didn't lose balance on her bad ankle. "I'll hurry."





I had no idea about what was going to happen..But I sure did know that I had put myself in this very sexual situation ...with an attractive, fun to be with woman .. Think about Christmas ...no...Christmas Eve ..when you are 5 and you believe in Santa ..and you just know you've been good enough to get that bike ...and many other wonderful things he is sure to have left ...the ANTICIPATION ...My Gawd...the anticipation as I walked in the brisk air had me in a good shiver that had nothing to do with the 25 degree temperature.







It took me a long time to write about the sex of what happened that first time with a woman because ...it was about AL L L LL LLL LL LLLLLLLL LLLL these other things. I couldn't write about it from the "I wonder if I am bisexual" angle that I have seen in many first time stories...because I had been damn sure of my bisexuality since I understood what women did to each other. I couldn't write this "oh innocent me getting seduced by the older woman" story, because I had been trying to get myself into a sexual situation to let SOMETHING happen for a long time by the time it actually did. In fact...it is rather comical looking back, at all the drama in my mind for that length of time I knew her. The wants and the fantasies and the flirts and the overtures I felt were strong enough to be recognized if she wanted me too, but weak enough to back out of if she was offended by me sending sexual signals her way. I am so much older now ...when I look back, I think I am amazed by how many thoughts could go through my teenage mind at once, or in a day, or in a nightime wet fantasy.




Of that first sexual encounter with her I will say that I had probably made love to her, oh maybe a conservatively estimated one million times in my minds fantasy ...so as it unfolded...the surprise was that there were so many surprises. And, as someone who had experienced a great deal of sex with guys before that day, you can say all you want that there can't be comparisons ...but ...I let myself go there enough to realize that the biggest difference in making love with a woman was that there were soooooo many surprises. I have read other women always talk about how soft the kiss, the skin, the feeling of long silky hair or the texture of nails dragged across sensitive skin as all being so alarmingly DIFFERENT in a first time experience ..and yes, those were all present. But also ... how god forsaken wonderful it was to have her soft tongue deep inside my mouth and how incredibly stimulating it was to enter her mouth with my tongue the same and have her suck on it so softly. How differently she held me than I had ever been held and how RIGHT that felt in those moments with her arms around my neck and her gentle falling into me as opposed to the "getting on top of me" I had known before. How good her lips felt upon my neck ...her teeth gently scraping to my sensations delight. So many surprisingly "better than you ever dreamed" moments.



As I first felt her nipple stiffen to welcome my fingertips touch ...a moment I certainly had dreamed of nearly nightly since I was 12, the accompanying seething sensual intake of her breath, high pitched "ah" and the shudder of her body all in that split second of her pleasure resonated in my heart, raised goosebumps upon my body, and solifidied the deepest root of my sexuality, that I sooooo get off on getting my lover off, and thus, her nipple stiffening to my touch in combination with everything else wonderfully overloaded my every sense and froze me. But yet again...the surprise as that same nipple stiffened and puckered now to its maximum attention as it slipped across my lips and against my waiting tongue. The "even more?" exhiliration sent another lustful jolt through me ... ..and I remember the surprise of the "no duh" moment of my belaboring the question of how I would position myself to lick her thigh .....and oh how delectable that was ...even though it was by that moment torturous to be so close to where I wanted my lips, mouth and tongue to begin the devouring I had waited so very long for....but how time and time again in this encounter, time itself sometimes became the largest dilema of all ..time in HOW MUCH TIME to spend in these deep french kisses when I could feel her hips rocking and I knew how badly her pussy wanted attention. ...prolonging the moment when I would pay respects to where she would know my strongest desire while an imaginary time clock measured every act of giving pleasure. I gently sucked upon the right side of her neck and rolled my tongue into her shoulder blade while my fingertips gently raked down her back. And when my hands lifted her breast and then another ...feeling that soft weight, the supple give of the skin and tissue and the knowing that we both were trembling together in a moment ...not just a moment...a momentous day of mutual desire...and the loudest quiet ever known. TIME was ever ticking on the "how longs" of our act ...when gently sucking her nipples became an engulfing inhaling and squeezing which caused her hips to writhe beneath me...HOW MUCH TIME before I have to leave this wonderful feeling we both are sharing because there is more and more important work (work???? PLEASURE !) to be done elsewhere ?" Those questions of time have never been more prevelant in between the sheets as they were that day with her.

And in speaking of the most wonderful of surprises, perhaps the two most enormous shudders of pure pleasure I will ever know happened in her bed that afternoon. Two moments I would not ever trade for anything ...defining moments that I had no idea in the fantasies leading up to what we did, versus the reality of doing it, would affect me, not only in the exact moments of occurence, but also 12 years later as I write this when I can surely remember these moments as though they happened five minutes ago.

With me making nothing short of mad passionate love to her ample right breast, her grip upon the back of my head and pulling me into her loosened .....like, she just let go and I KNEW what she meant with no words needed to be spoken ...we were surely even reading each others mind so that when I say she let go , it was as if SHE did it AND I beckoned it at the same time ....and SO...the question of time I spoke of earlier was decided...it was TIME to feel her down there. Her fingertips dug into my shoulder and led her hand downward past my elbow and wrist until she had taken my hand, in the act of molding and remolding her breast while I sucked, and led me down ...down and down to where the softness of her pubic hair began. Placinng my hand there...a gentle squeeze for reassurance ...and I wonder if when she did, she realized that she was not only saying "I am ready" or "I need this," but realizing how much I so very much needed to touch her there too.


"Mmmmmmmm, I moaned and smiled vibrating against her nipple I was still sucking .....and my hand took the rest of the plunge towards her mound and lips. Oh that moment. I have no real idea what it is like for anyone else who has had sex ..cmon...people have had sex since there were people. But ..dicks were dicks, and they were always hard well before they were needed to be, and what I knew about vaginas was that my vagina behaved and felt as mine did, and gosh I knew by this age everything about it, up down and sideways. But HERS....yes like mine and yes different and not like mine ...something I knew from my many fantasies...but oh how I never dreamed how this would make me feel....stroking my fingers and then sinking them past her swollen lips and inside her...she was sopping, dripping, soaking wet. And oh my gawd...that feeling it gave me...of lust, of passion, and mostly I have to admit how my every nerve felt the immense satisfaction at that moment of the knowing that her twice as wet as I had ever felt myself pussy was in this extreme condition of arousal because of ME...because of US ..because of THIS MOMENT we were both in. And, yes, I was aware of how wet I was and knew without touching it was wetter than I too had ever been and what at some point she would know about from touching me....but for this moment...again, a moment I would not trade for any other in my life, feeling her with my fingertips so wet...sliding in her...feeling her walls and it was not just warm but in fact quite hot to the touch at that moment....the most awesome sexual moment of my life to that point and would be forever if it weren't for what happened soon after.

So ..how did this start ? Yeah...the phone call...the "I have ALWAYS been more attracted to you" statement before I walked the dog ..the long months of friendship and fantasy and ...as I said ...this is about allll those things. But how did we get to the bed, is a part of this story I must tell?


Well, when I got back from walking the dog, she had almost finished toasting some bagels for breakfast, had poured out two very large glasses of Sunny D, had changed the stereo from the morning blab radio which was on when I arrived, to some artsy fartsy guitar instrumental music, which I loved ..and set a certain quiet but flowing atmosphere. We made this and that small talk about bagels, calories, and the dog. I sat on the couch away from where she was set up with her blanket and pillow and we talked and ate and gazed into one anothers eyes until the gaze needed to be broken. I had the knowing that something was probably going to happen, or at least I was going to get some answers about much ...and soon we were feeding the dog scraps and laughing at his leaps for this or that morsel ...and in the first semi-uncomfortable silence she spoke softly, "girl..we gotta talk ya know?" And I thought, here it comes, just let me down easy.

"ummmmm ..I am just going to come right out and say it...and nothing we say gets repeated anywhere..just between us ok ?" (ok I nodded) " You umm...are ....are you a lesbian ...or bisexual?" she asked

"is it that obvious I am at least one of those," I laughed. After a few moments I added, "lets put it this way ...I am sure I have always known that I have wanted more ...you know..MORE ...but its not just about the sex ..and ummmm...I don't know how to say this ..but ..I never had feelings for a particular girl ...i mean...not til now...not til lately....like you know, such a strong crush where I am writing notes and tearing them up and wanting to say more than I think I can say."

"You can say anything to me Brenda."

"Well what if I am having some pretty strong feelings for you....I've been afraid to tell you in case you tell my friends, or even my mom ...but I have a stronger feeling you might feel the same way."

"girl..you know I do"

"no I don't know"

"I do"

"oh" was all I could say ...and was that to be it ? Feeling the fear inside me turn to warmth ...I looked at her "what are we talking about ?"

"I think we talking about becoming lovers...but I never did that ..and I dont really know if I know what to do," she said quizically with a nervous giggle.

In my strongest burst of confidence I said "I never did it either ...but I am pretty damn sure I know what to do ....and I'm pretty sure you might like what I have in mind ?"

I reached over and touched her leg and began stroking her calf above her uninjured ankle more as a nervous but affectionate show of togetherness ....and we sat in silence for about a minute like this..me looking down at her leg ..feeling all those nerves bundle up, bundle out, relax and then bundle back up again as every single emotion I ever felt zig zagged through my mind and we were both lost for words. In that minute, in fantasy, I made love to her and her to me in every conceivable way ...so many thoughts and feelings rushing through. And when I could speak, I uttered almost apologetically, "just so you know," I broke the silence...."this is about alot more than just sex for me...whatever happens ok?"

"Me too" she earnestly replied. .....and added "ummm ..would you c'mere and help me up if you can ok ?"



I arose to walk towards her and debated mentally a million ways we might have a first kiss which I wanted so desperately at that moment. This would be the first opportuntiy..I could just lean down for this kiss I felt I couldnt wait another minute for. ...but more important was that happiness ...whatever...it was GOING to happen. And you can laugh if you will, but I felt more like a virgin that morning than I ever did before I did anything with a guy. And to me, it felt so deeply real and more natural then anything I had ever felt was coming. In a businesslike fashion I helped her up and off the couch and she motioned for her crutches and said "hey...I gotta go take a shower ...can you sit here and watch tv or ...wait a sec...let me get something...stay here." She crutched her way back towards her bedroom and my mind raced wondering what was going on. She came back with book...a rather thick book that turned out to be an erotic anthology of short sexy stories. She had her finger in it marking a story and handed to me saying," read this one by ____________," (for the life of me I wish I knew this story because I would like to own it today)..."It is so erotic ...I've read it a dozen times ...worn out a few sets of batteries," she laughed. And that was a good ice breaker. "ohhhh ..Im gonna miss you," I said knowing she was going away from me at a critical moment....but I also knew a woman wants to feel clean if she is going to do anything ya know...she didn't have to do that for me, but I would do no good to say that, and I knew it. "Now read that ..and don't start anything without me." "I wouldn't," I said, but the best feeling was again, knowing that today, there would be something started for certain we both knew by now. Neither knew how, we both knew it would....finally fear and worry and doubt and pent up and quelled desire had become INEVITABILITY.

I read the sincere, passionate, sexually explicit story which got me wet and yes, I touched myself a time or two while waiting for what seemed like forever ....I finished the story and waited, and thought and waited, and fantasized, and waited, and finally got up..went back in towards the back of her apartment where she was still in the bathroom and finishing her eye makeup with a towel around her and her damp hair tied up. I tingled from head to toe and looked in towards the bedroom, saw the unmade bed and knew I would be there with her shortly. I came up behind her and our eyes met in the reflection of the mirror. "I missed you," I said.


"What did you think of the short story?"


"Well those women ...knew what they were doing but...umm...maybe we can do better ? ya think ?"

And it was comfortable to put my arms around her and my body engulfed her damp and nude except for the towell loveliness. "I can't wait any longer to kiss you Donna," I said as I moved in close to her and our lips met for the first time ...softly ..gently...timidly for certain in the bathroom....a kiss that had more tenderness than every kiss I ever had or dreamed of wrapped into it, but virtually none of the pure lust and passioniate kisses we would soon share. Still...so nice was the moment I wanted it to never end ...slipping our tongues together and into each others warmth that first time ...from "what to do" to knowing what comes so naturally. Our kiss broke and our hug began and her caress upon my shoulders felt divine. I looked in her eyes and said "hurry up in here..I'm going to wait for you in there."

"I thought we were gonna watch a movie," she said.

"Whatever you want to do, but, " I paused, "that was the best kiss I ever had in my life! ....If you want to watch a movie...I want to pretend we are in the back row and not really watching the movie." I laughed. She laughed. "Im gonna wait for you in here." I said and had developed the plan already.

Yes....ME...instigating our first lesbian tongue tangle ...miraculous scary nervousness as I moved in BUT...at least I KNEW she would respond ...and NOW ..virtually commanding her to the bed...wait ? Wasnt I the just turned 18 high school senior ? Wasn't she the older, wiser, role model, big sister type grad student ? I had to laugh to myself about how it had come about that it was ME that seemed in control .....but soon I realized control and sexual power is always best when shared ....THAT was a rare and hardley ever occurence in my experience with men....power sharing between us was to come as natural and comfortable as our friendship had always been.

As she finished what she was doing in the bathroom.....I rather quickly and boldy stripped to my bra and panties and got into the bed...and pulled the covers up. "Are you in my bed girl ?" came the objection from the bathroom ?

"Yes I am in your bed..and I'm waiting for you!...hurry up!"


"are you comfortable?"


"Very"


"are you in your birthday suit>?"

"you'll know when you get in here with me" I boldy flirted.

After a few minutes she came into the bedroom , now in a light green and flowered robe and complained " I was going to put on something very sexy for you....ya know...since you dressed up for me."

"not dressed up anymore," I giggled from the bed while mentally undressing her and anticipating her every touch and tingle.

I WAS WANTING THIS SOOOO MUCH BUT GAWD I WAS SOOOOOOOO NERVOUS....dont know why...but even THAT felt like the natural normal thing given the circumstances.


How MANY times this day had I said to myself "this is it !" well...I was saying again ...but feeling it stronger than ever. I knew when I made the choice to go to the bedroom and get in the bed that there would be no turning back for me....and I was commiting her as well to at least something.

She strode over and sat on the bed next to me facing away and said "we gotta talk." I was ready for whatever and wherever this was going. My daring move was stripping and getting into bed, and when I did that, I knew she probably wasn't going to dive in a make love with me...she wasnt that kind of person I sensed.

"Just exactly how long has this been going on Brenda?" she asked


"What...me being bisexual...or me wanting to be bisexual with YOU?"

"well ..both ..but..." I knew she was asking in a round about way if I had wanted to do this since she was my student teacher way back when. That began a talk with both of us...which, in the course of the next 30 minutes or so, we confesesed our lifelong lesbian fantasies, told about the movie scenes we'd seeen and the books we had read with lesbian characters. It was nice because, surely our encounter was inevitable, but less urgent / rushed and...I think the calming cool down of a sincere talk about what we were feeling and about to feel was soothing and very natural for both of us.



I told her I KINDA thought about her sexually in class, but had really become different in the way I felt as I grew older and knew my feelings were different when we began hanging out together with the group of us as girlfriends. I told her I knew I was bisexual from the age of 12, and she said it was more recent for her ...but didn't start realizing I had affections for her until after she had had a crush on a girl in college that had turned her affections aside, and then she said she noticed some of the same puppy dog eyes upon her from me that she was giving to the woman she wanted to be with. We admitted very BIG things to each other, for instance, we confided to each other that we had masturbated while thinking of the other.



"How would you feel if I told you that when I'm friggin my riggin I never think about guys...and um...like for six months...I have only been imagining you ALOT...maybe not every time but ..alot more than anyone ?"

"I can't believe it..me too.....see...we've already done it with each other we just didn't know it!" and we laughed

We talked about the awkwardness of buying a vibrator at Spencers and the "do you need batteries with that?" moment at the counter.

We trashed men's sexual proficiency.

...and if the thought came through my mind "are you a lesbian ?" The answer was easily "who cares."

We admitted we knew there was a turning point and how it was just a matter of time and how to from that point on.

And, truly capable of a thousand thoughts between each sentence of conversation, my mind raced..."kiss me kiss me kiss me, should I kiss her, how should I kiss her, kiss me, make love to me, kiss me, kiss me now etc...WHEN ARE WE GOING TO DO IT" my mind was commanding.

As we talked she had shifted to face me and I had shifted onto my side ...she touched my shoulder once and let a finger slide under the strap ...She knew she had the liberty to do much more whenever she felt it right. She admitted she asked me over with ulterior motive on this day, and I laughed and said "I believe with me in your bed and waiting for you to kiss me, that has become abundantely clear." For a moment the silence, and then, "I am so glad you are here," .... her hand lifting my bangs and then caressing my cheek. "You are so beautiful and I have waited for this for so long." My chest turns rather pink when I am horny, and I am sure my face and everything else blushed a crimson red that moment..but it felt soooo good to be told that. She let the robe slip down...her back now nude and she turned towards me and I glimpsed her lovely breasts. She stood up long enough for the robe to fall to the floor and got in to face me. Her hand upon my cheek, my hands wandering towards her shoulders ..we embraced at the moment our lips met ..and this kiss was instantly different, more sexual, and was going to last much much longer than our first brief makeout session in the bathroom nearly an hour ago.


Oh...and about that kiss...you know how I always talk about the million thoughts through my mind ??? My mind went completely void of any thought of anything but mouth, tongue, warm, wonderful and bliss.

Side to side we made out...I worried aloud about her ankle and she assured me it was ok.

The stark realiziation of the moment. This was sex with a woman. This was finally happening. I guided her hands from my hips and back towards my breasts and she undid the front clasps to free me. I cant tell you how many times we exchanged different ways of telling each other..whispering softly mostly ...how beautiful we felt each other was. More fervent our kisses and caresses. More gradually we felt each other in exchange of the power between us, where we fell easily into where I felt I needed this to go with me making love to her body, she more or less submitted to my need to give her pleasure, and our sexual path was slowly carved out by each different touch, caress, and soft tickle between us. Her body felt SO good and when our breasts were together, my feelings were so much deeper and stronger than the sexual urges continuing to grow.

And so, as I mentioned earlier, the large and small surprises continued as down her body I traversed with my lips, tongue, hands, fingers, and passion. Feeling her that wet and feeling her respond to my finger was immensely erotic. But, knowing I wanted to go down on her made me purposely hold back a bit for I knew, and she later comfirmed, she was about to explode with orgasm from the first touch of my fingers dancing upon her clit and inside her saturated vagina.



And that was the second moment for which I would never trade anything that could be given. That moment before I kissed her there...the knowing she wanted me there, the first time of it and the ultimate expectations of unfamiliar yet so desired act of total love I had for her at that moment. So good was the first warm, wet touch of my tongue to her, my thumb and forefinger instinctively spreading her lips and flicking her clit softly ..then more forecefully. In my first time naivety I said something producing our most awkward moment...but It seemed the right thing to say at the time. As I began to lick, suck and then to finger as well, her responses in her squeezing, her breathing, her moans and other noises excited me and gave me confidence, HOWEVER, I still realized I HAD NEVER DONE THIS and so I stopped licking when she stopped responding for what may have been TWO SECONDS and said "Don't worry babe...I am not going to stop until you come." This of course, coming from the knowledge of when I had been brought to almost the brink by quite a few clumsy dates. Well, when I said that, she almost screamed, "Oh gawd no, you are doing FINE," and in the desperation of her voice knew that she was about to come. I found a way to lick her quickly that she obviously liked, and up and down over her clit with just the right pressure, held her buttocks and rode with her while her convulsions began combined with her shrieks and exclamations of joy for both of us to relish in.

And I stayed with her down there as she came again and again and again and again. I never wanted to stop and when she would come she would say "please" which was a soft plea to stop, or "i need you up here now" but that also would not get me to stop. I just slowed down long enough for her to catch her breath and then found yet another way to rise her up again towards a pulsating for both of us release.

I knew that first time that I could feel a womans orgasm through my mouth as my very own. Nothing will ever compare.



"Know what ?" she whispered to me as I lay on my back with her nestled in my right arm snuggled against me, head upon my shoulder with her soft hair and the dreamy slow motion softness of our bodies together as our breathing returned to normal and our brains allowed us to think again.

"What."

"I .....can't......wait...." she began while her fingertip traced up my sides and underneath my breast......"to lick you......." her finger encircled my breast and nipple and then began to descend towards where I throbbed, ached, and patiently needed her attention, ...and as she brushed across my mound, plunging into my wetness and as my legs spread to further invite her, "....to lick you....." her fingers inside me now and her body shifting upward to look me in the eyes, where she no doubt saw the immense flood of pleasure she was giving me down there and quickly, flashed in the hunger of my eyes, " to lick you...right ...there...>" my clit now attended to unlike anything I'd ever felt with her thumb and index finger as her lips went down to my right nipple....the wonderful strain of both my covered by her warm lips nipple and the unattended one as well powerfully announcing to me as an inner, maddening, leap to attention FOR attention, and to her, in between her lips ...the erotic bodywide quiver eminating from my nipples, my breasts, with nerve ending directly connected to the walls of my vagina and my clit being manipulated by her fingers that KNEW me from the first moment of touch. Her tongue and lips and mouth KNEW me against my nipple. I shuddered, and quivered, and arched, and trembled in letting myself...allowing myself this pleasure. She was fingering me into my panties ..the only article of clothing left between the both of us in the creamy soft sheets of her bed....she raised up and as she disengaged her fingers from me down there, my pussy wanted to follow her hand as if to say "where ya goin ?" but she lifted me up and I responded and we helped the panties down my thighs and over my legs and she dropped them on the floor.

My eyes half squinting in the curtained morning daylight of her room. I opened them for a clue as to what might be coming next and ...with both hands she began to massage and knead and my boobs. Her gaze upon them..then a glance towards my eyes responding with how good she was making me fell all over with her touch...admiring me there...yes...such pride in my boobs, but I know I shouldnt have that vanity. Her breasts and nipples had turned me on soooo much a few minutes before, and I was enjoying belieiving she enjoyed the touch of mine as much. However, unlike with any sexual partner before (that would be 100% boys and men in case thats been forgotten), my breasts were knowingly out there in a different way than ever before. Her eyes were looking directly into my mind, and I felt that look of admiration, or adoration, or whatever positive...I don't like those bradadocious adjectives, but it was clear to me that my toplessness and these touches between us ..with her fingers and eyes upon me while my own fingertips lightly brushed the soft underside of her forearm, was a wonderful sharing of the emotion and tenderness of all that was blossoming between us that morning.

I am a moaner ok ? She massages me and I moan, she shifts to provide two hands on that breast instead of the one on each and I moan louder...I dont want to sound silly..but the sounds are just coming out of me.
Half the excitment comes from the things she is doing to me and half comes from the anticipation..and ..it must be the neverending scientist in me, but the inevitable comparisons ...not only to the guys I have had sex with, thats the obvious, but also, the comparison to the ways I have just made love to her, and the comparisons to what I have fantasized about and what is playing in reality.
There are moments ...my gawd how good it feels whenever she does something that brings her breasts into ANY contact whatsoever with my skin. Her nipples stiff against my sensitive sides or my belly ...breast to breast is every bit as amazing as I always read about and dreamed of. The entirety of her soft skin against me is of course such a wonderful, delightful, brand new sensation as expected...but when that skin contact is her breasts...I feel as though I should purr or something for how good it feels to know her this way. I moan softly when it feels good ..I gasp or moan more emphatically when her lips engulf my nipples or her fingers find a new way to delight, or return to something that minutes before brought out my demonstrative ways. I am truly delirious ...a sensation that is not unlike being drunk....being so willingly led in her giving to me. I am able to punch through the submission to grope a breast or reach for her mound in whatever moment of position that that allows, but she is no doubt holding the baton of power for these moments and I have given over to her completely.

I also need to express this sensation that was never so intense with a man as it was with her and in my lesbian encounters ever since. It is that I KNOW deep inside as she makes me quiver and tingle and convulse and come..I KNOW how much I am into this..and into her....it is sooooo deep and sooo much. But ...I am ever so analytic and aware of every sign she gives me or might about how she is feeling about me. It builds and builds and is crystal clear as we continue that she is TOTALLY into giving me pleasure with her fingers, mouth, lips and tongue ...she is soooooo in this bubble with me and alert and aware of the oneness of us in this moment....yes it does feel like falling in love ....and together we are placing brick upon brick in the foundation of our growing and deepening togetherness. Until I felt it with her, I had no idea how one of the most powerful things ...100 times more powerful than the orgasmic release of sexual sensations that change, multiply and surprise second to second in our kisses, licks and touches, it is what her EYES tell me, her responses tell me, her obvious mutual desire that fuels my emotions and deepens my sensations as we go along. Its like, when her teeth dug into my nipple and my nails dug into her back, muscles contracting, audible moan and a answer to her unasked question, "YES IT FEELS GOOD WHEN YOU SUCK ME LIKE THAT," and so she rolls her tongue, nibbles me, holds me tighter against her and makes sure every possible millimeter of our skin meshes together in this moment...it is her response when weighed against mine that trumps the sexual delights. Her being totally into this with me is the truest pleasure of them all.

I can remember as it was a moment ago when she rolled down to eat me the first time. She had a beautiful silver and turquoise necklace that accompanied her tongue in softly tracing down and down towards where I craved her. I am literally almost coming from just the anticipation. I lose myself and I remember repeating "its so good its so good its so good" before her tongue ever touched me there.

She has a certain touch on my thigh ....combination of massage and erotic tenderness. It sends me. She spreads my lips and when her tongue enters me...she fucks me in and out ...I try to stay still but my hips are shaking instantly and involuntarily. Just as I had done to her before, her finger replaces her tongue and then she adds another almost simultanously as she begins to softly lick my stiff clit. She sucks on it, twirls her tongue and tightens a grib around my buttocks, pulling me foward where I was already pushiing, hands against the back of her hair and then lowering to massage a shoulder. I come so fast after she starts....I remember thinking right before my first orgasm exploded that I wondered if it really WAS her first time doing this. It was so so so technically superior ...and the powerful combination of shudders, quivers, trembles, tingles, thrusts, moans and most deeply, EMOTIONS, spilled out of my pussy, out of my vocal chords, and out of my soul each time she got me there with her warm wet mouth and tongue, sucking me, licking me, spreading me and massaging me, finger touching me, finger fucking me, controlling me, loving me.



At some point in the 30 or so minutes that felt like hours ...I become orgasmed out and in synch with me she is exhausted. I want to rest, pee, and get my mouth on her pussy again. In fact, as she was delivering such pleasure to me, an equal thought to "gawd how good this is," was, "I cant wait til this is over so I can get her off some more." I was instantly and forever addicted to the way it felt to go down on a woman....and I wanted more ...I wanted everything that day ..and I wanted everything forever....for love at any age, and especially at 18 is confusing. I was certainly in love that afternoon...in fact...that month that we were "together."

We both peed, made small talk and observed on the clock that we still had time before I would have to go home ....by my way of thinking that was to be an afternoon of sex sex and some more sex. If she had other ideas...and she did, when she came back into the bedroom and starting looking through her drawers for clothes for the day, I about tackled her. NO....don't take that pussy away from me now. It was clear that I felt I had years of the wanting this so badly to be let out. She talked about my "stamina" as I licked her and sucked her ...feeling I could not get enough of her flower and the responses to the pleasure I created for her. I opened her with a third finger .."okay ?" "oh yes," she replied.

We laid together ..she on her back, me against her side and breast..."do you want me to do something ?" I knew she was asking if I was requesting reciprocation ... "no I just want to lay like this forever if that might be possible."


She said things to me in bed that afternoon I can't ever forget..in ways that made me feel like I will never feel again. Stroking my shoulder and describing how my eyes sparkled to her, and telling me she "adored," me ...like...every time she "adored" something about me...."I adore your nipples," or, "I adore the way you touch my thighs," I would tingle. Adore just wasnt a word I ever used or heard much, and every time she said it, and said it about ME, my ADORATION for her grew.

ANd oh...her vibrator was in view the whole day ...I kept waiting, wondering IF or WHEN it would come into play ...and though the answer was, "not today,"
its presence in the room was like a third, if that can be understood....like it was crying out to be used...but Donna and I controlled that, and neither one of us cared for anything but each other that day.



We cared not for food ..."we have to do something about lunch," and I was oh so the master of the obvious, "I only want to eat you," and down again I went ..."dont start this again...ok ...dont...you cant...." but my fingers spreading her lips and my tongue once again upon her soaked lips and mound, and once again her legs would spread and her sigh of resignation would be my invitation to continue with what I felt I was quickly becoming if not the expert at what I was doing with my lips, my mouth, fingers, palms and tongue, I was at least proving I was a proficient learner, and she told me as much many times. Over the next days and weeks, my mind would wander to the things I wanted with her...everything imaginable sexually ...but this morning that was becoming a later and later afternoon, my mind seemingly looped the desire to lick and suck and finger her endlessly.

As I became adept at eating her, I also became adept at realizing when she was ready for a small break because, with my hips towards her shoulders, never having the real guts to sit upon her and make this a true sixty nine position, something we didnt do til our last time together, but as her libido slowed down, her talent with her fingers upon me and inside me drove me closer and closer to coming. I couldnt get there...or she couldn't get me there...and if I got close and then would't go over ...I would lick her all the more furiously. However...it was getting late...and I wanted to come so bad just one more time. I was aching to let go, and although I wanted her to make love to me with the passion she did before, it was out of the question in the state of sexual exhaustion we were in. I rolled my body up upon hers and kissed her deeply ...madly and passionately ...she tasting herself upon my lips and responding with a look in her eyes undescribable , but said without words that it was more than acceptable and fully desirable in the moment of "us."

Upon her thigh I began to hump her and it was so good ...my pussy and the way it felt ..but what drove me to the earth shattering orgasm rubbing against her that way, was not just the feelings against my clit...but the way she pushed her thigh into me....the the absolute surprised desperation I saw in her eyes, and as my moans and noises intensified, so did her vocal responses, and so did her tight grip around me ...holding me tight, kissing me, squeezing me, groping my breast or pulling me into her by my buttocks as I screwed my pussy against her thigh, the deepest tongue kisses and the nails digging into my back, while my fingerse dug into the mattress... and when I came this way, the exclamation point upon our first experience gave us the finale we could both live with, for if we hadnt found something like that, I wonder how long and what more we would have done to continue this experience neither of us wanted to let go of.

An out of body experience in her apartment and in her bed.....to the deep kiss at the door and tears welling up. A million "i don't know what to say" moments and expressions of gratitude, pleasant surprise, better than I thoughts, and "I have been waiting so long for this to happen for us."

I walked home and in cliche fashion I must tell you the best way to describe it is that my feet did not touch the ground. Numb...affected...and yes, in love strongly, I went home and holed up in my room, no conversation with any friends, saying as little as I could get away with when mom came home cause I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts, feelings, and rememberances of the day, and fantasies of the days to come with Donna.

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