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Who Am I ? akiss2desire is a Bible Belt Blogging Bi Big Beautiful Babe who has been sharing her writing, mostly 1st person lesbian erotica, short stories, poetry, and lesbian pop culture realizations from both the experience and fantasy perspectives to an ever growing audience. I recently passed 700,000 page views ! Thanks for the nominations for the Lezzie awards honoring best lesbian erotica on the web. There is truly nothing like getting feedback from you ...even when my writing has slowed down I still get encouragement to keep going. To anyone who has been coming here since 2007 --THANKS ...and if you just stumbled upon my blog, the "best of" from the past are the links above. Those stories will be the foundation of my upcoming compilation book. Today, you get to read for free. Welcome, and I hope you stay awhile.

Sunday

Soccer Moms Need Lesbian Love Too


To the readers of AKD: I have been working on this latest short story for quite awhile ...working on my craft and honestly trying to become a better writer on all fronts, not just the good parts. (you DO know what the good parts are right ?) It's a bit lengthy ...I am ALWAYS hoping for your feedback at akiss2desire@gmail.com

Soccer Moms Need Lesbian Love Too
Fiction by Brenda 2008
All rights reserved

I was gobsmacked at the notion that after such a long time of yearning for the touch of another woman that lightning could strike twice in such a short period of time. After going through, dare I say, a dry spell of so long...although the yearning ..constant yearning in the search was anything but dry. My everyday was playing out against the backdrop of the constant, and I do mean constant thought of the new relationship with the young beauty who surprised me by ravishing me after I seduced her (or she allowed herself to be seduced perhaps). I have no idea why human nature acts this way, but as the young one and I had texted and emailed and phoned in exemplifying more of a relationship than just a tryst and the ravishing of each other in those stolen moments in bed together, I was longing for, craving for even more lesbian variety. Not that the young one who adores me and fills me in the moments we are together wasn't enough, but it happened that in this constant state of arousal in thinking so much about her and when we would touch our tinglies again, I ran into an old acquaintance at a soccer game where her son and mine were playing each other...and the attraction between us was instantaneous.

Faye, I have to describe, is "beautiful to me." Her looks aren't of the type that will be glorified by Hollywood or People magazine ...Plain Jane shoulder length stringy hair with a hint of red and a few redhead trademark freckles to go with her fairly athletic broad shoulders and strong (not fat) thighs. It is her striking green, expressive eyes and consistently perky, bubbly attitude (the one who draws all eyes when she's on the dance floor) that always made me like her when our paths crossed more regularly about five years ago when our sons were newborns. I confess A HINT of attraction back then, and as we met again that Saturday, it seemed that even though we had not really spoken in years, our gift of gabbing with one another and finishing each others sentences remained intact. We were expressing common interests. We talked for 1/2 an hour about TV shows like Big Brother and Desperate Housewives ...and the catching up on her life story included a fairly messy divorce from a husband that cheated on her ...not surprising because he had made refused flirtations towards even me, a fact I didn't divulge to her. She emotionally talked alot about what happened, what was going on with her and her son, her "not enough time for that" excuse for not dating...and ..well ..I was realizing that as we talked...something in me had changed quite a bit since we last talked. I was feeling a new found sexual, (lesbian sexual) confidence. I almost blushed in the self realization that after I had recently painstakingly seduced the young one who had become my obsession, I was definitely sizing up Faye as we talked that morning for yet another sexual conquest ...my mind calculating the odds and the risks and the "what if she's interested."

Which is why I started hinting when she pressed me on the "what's new with you?" front. " Of course I'm not going to just blurt out how my bi-curious with a few experiences side has become almost bona-fide lesbian in the last few years. But, as fast as my mind was thinking, I knew I'd get around to finding a way to find out if a romp with me might be something she'd be interested in.

"Know any good divorce lawyers ?" I said, and surprised myself a bit when I said off the cuff, "I am just staying busy and I'm not sure I can really talk about what's going on in my life ...but it would probably make for good gossip or maybe even I should lay out the juicy details on a blog...you know..anonymously...so I could feel like I had someone to talk to about all soap opera aspects of my life." THAT was awfully close to the truth.

Predictably, she said "well you know you can talk to me." And, I WANT to ...and my blood is racing because I am not only enjoying the attention of a renewed friendship, but also scanning her for any body language that indicates attraction to me, or anything that she might say that would open up any more hints about what I am really thinking, which was mostly along the lines of "gawd I wonder what those gorgeous eyes of hers look like when she's coming."

We had always had an easy repoire with sexual subjects when we talked, and away from the other moms, down the sideline and with my world of thoughts so far away from anything happening on the field, she began the guessing game of what secrets I wasn't sharing.
"Is he cheating on you...are you cheating on him...are you having an affair?..and (she paused) if you are, does he have any friends ?" we laughed.
"It's pretty complicated ..I told you...I 'm not ready to talk about it well...not here anyway ...maybe we might find time for a juicy phone call or a trip to Starbucks or something."

"But ...the IS somebody, right ?" she quizzed.

"You could always read me like a book."

"I think the book on your life would be a bestseller for sure," she said through a wry, knowing grin. That kinda zinged me. I felt beckoned to continue my attraction ...this crush on her was growing by the minutes.

Before our morning was over, I assured her not to worry about me..I was ok. And, I was ready to keep talking with her, she gave me that ease and comfort, but events didn't allow that as we lost our semi-privacy and the game wrapped up with her. She invited me to go to a crafts fair, and I really wanted to ditch all responsibilities and just do ANYTHING she wanted, but the lengthy reacquainting wrapped up with her and I both adding each others phone numbers into cells. I relished the TYPE of conversation we had ...the deeper, more mature, woman's give and take that was missing from exchanges I was having with my co-workers, neighbors, and most especially from the talks I was having with the beautiful, but ten years younger lesbian lover I was giving my lips I drove away feeling vibrant, attracted, and ...wanting to play out what was going to happen...and most of all, less fearful of lesbian rejection than I had ever felt.

In that short meeting I had pretty much made up my mind that I was at least going to tell her of my lesbian leanings. It was like I could feel my sexual fixation slowly shifting from the one that I'd been rolling around with, to the one I WANTED to roll around with as soon as possible. If it felt a little disloyal to the girl I had begun to have strong ..dare I say love feelings for lately, it also seemed inescapable. If it wouldn't be Faye to open that door, I was determined to. If I had to, I was prepared to trick my mind into believing that making a pass at Faye was safe from the the hurt if my advances should be rebuffed. For, long ago, in my late teens, I lost my best friend telling her about my sexuality. This was more an acquaintance, an acquaintance I reaaaally liked of course, and felt attracted to for sure, but clearly I had less to lose and believed that PROBABLY I could trust her not to gossip my secrets to everyone within the possible circle of common relationships we had in this small town environment. And ...because things are going so well with my young girlfriend, whom I love for everything that is happening between us but don't feel so much the need to be necessarily faithful to her, the pressure of the desperation of my years of "doing without" was off the table.
Thus, the rest of the weekends idol thoughts were spent daydreaming of both the possibilities and "what if's" of pressing for something with Faye, and the "how to's" swirling in my mind about making the soccer mom fantasy a reality, and the current sexual reality of planning the next hotel or backseat rendezvous with my young and dedicated babe. Truly, my lesbian cup runneth over.

The next Tuesday afternoon on my day off, the young one and I enjoyed the brief time we had carved out for each other. We didn't have much time together ...but made love as passionately as any of our stolen moments. We knew we would just have to hurry things along...which I knew would be easy given the passions in the stolen away textings and emails to one another. She continued to amaze me with her instinct of my body with the pleasure of her even better tongue, and the affection she showers me with so much. So good ..so good...A THOUSAND TIMES SO GOOD. She wows me totally....yet, amidst all the sexual satisfaction that continued with her, my mind never allowed me to be so immersed in the delights of the young one to ever dismiss the possibilities of the itch I had to explore my more seasoned, new found object of affection. Oh, fantasizing about one lover, or potential lover, while pleasuring another, I realized, was almost a lifetime pastime of mine. I laughed and accepted that as good as the sex was that Tuesday afternoon, it just was not enough ..not nearly enough ...and that had nothing to do with the efforts or passion or orgasmic sensuality of the afternoon with the youthful one. It had everything to do with how the Saturday meeting with Faye and the fantasy visions of the two of us making a different kind of love made me either need to know the pleasure of her skin, her body, her touch and her wet desire, or if not a need, than most certainly, one of the strongest appetites I had ever felt to quench my thirst for woman to woman intimacy.



Wednesday morning, the next day after after getting my son off to school, I decided to give her THE CALL ...just to see what could be in the cards. The call ended up giving me all I needed to know about her ..and the knowing that we'd soon be sharing a bed. She answered, was home, was alone, and we could TALK. My plan ...yes it was a bonafide and well thought out plan, was to ambush her with some lighthearted sexual innuendo ...see how that went...drop in some mention of lesbian culture ...and eventually, confess to her with honesty...but not forsaking some hint of erotica. There was something sooooo "high school boyfriend" about this ...but it felt like that. Like I was prepping for a contest, my mind encouraged me with "you can do this." I was just going to go up the ramp, leaving enough room to back down the ramp and save face if I got the wrong vibe....but I also knew, eventually, there would be a place where I would likely cross the line of NOT being able to back away..and I was determined to follow through with that. I was nervous ..but this was my baby, my pet project now ..a challenge I was especially up for ..and I reasoned with myself that if the worst happened, that if I crossed the boundary of not being able to back away and she roundly rejected my advance, I'd still have my young lesbian lover as fall back, and therefore have no sorrows to drown.

"hey are you busy? ...watcha doin ? are you by yourself or have company ? Well, put the vibrator down lets talk!" My opening salvo. Sexual innuendo--CHECK. She wasnt offended and laughed . . . was a good sign
When she asked me what I was doing, I white lied that I was watching "Loving Annabelle," on my computer...she hadn't seen it ..we got sidetracked about watching tv on computer of course, and I almost had to force in the reason why I mentioned the movie..."just a really well done story...teacher student affair...except the teacher and the student are both women...you know>? " Lesbian inference Check! "ahhh I see" was the only reaction I could coax from that semi-bombshell. I couldn't have been more transparent in an attempt to bring up the subject of lesbianism . Up the ramp, but still can back down, because watching a lesbian movie still doesn't make me a lesbian right?

Our conversation weaved between the continued catching up and I extracted some more details of her marriage break up, sympathized with her, told her I was "not going to be married forever myself," and explained that when it was time I would be on my own ..but not yet...and so we encouraged each other in some man-hating. She told me about hooking up with a younger guy and extolled the virtues of her stamina, worship of her and his "perfectly shaped cock." I told her I could relate to some of that, and so she once again began to press me on my story. "You're keeping a secret and I'm GONNA find out what it is ." "Hold on," I said and walked away to gather myself and give a pep talk to myself, leaving Faye on hold for at least a minute to ponder.
"I'm sorry if it's nosy but I'm dying to know what's goin on...and you always used to tell me everything !"

"Faye...I didn't tell you everything ...see ..nobody understand me...ok? I mean, yes I have secrets, but everyone does...I don't give a damn...I'll tell you anything you want to know about me...and I just hope I can trust you...cause you know ..nobody knows me...I just..(sigh) its complicated..I told you."

"And you can trust me"

"so if I'm doing dick in the ass Internet porn, I can just tell you anything?"

"so you're doing porn???(laugh)"

"and if I was?"

"seriously..it would be ok...but I know you better than that..its no that...you're having an affair aren't you....(pause) aren't you?" (silence from me..gaining confessional strength) "a sex thing...are you involved.... the important thing is you're happy," she supported me.

"I'm very ..in fact very sexually happy so far..." And I knew there would be no turning back from the next line,
"SHE is amazing in bed!" I was looking down like I was acting ashamed with the receiver in my hand. "I never dreamed sex could be this good."

"So it ISSSSSS a woman !" she exclaimed, confirming her suspicion.

"It's a she."

"Well I was just about to say that," she said, but her speech had increased in pace and her surprise was still evident despite words, "....I was thinking why on earth were you not telling me, then it dawned on me ITS A WOMAN? .....so ..wow...tell me everything...I wanna know everything...I mean...are you gay, or is this a...like, an experiment."

"You never did it?" I asked.

"Never had the chance to." .Now that intrigued me ...never had the chance to is alot different than "hell would freeze over before I'd kiss a girl." ....in fact...it was almost an invitation.

"Well ..Ummm...I've been bisexual my whole life."

"Yeah...alot of women are," she said through a combination of surprise and nervous curiosity I sensed in her voice. She was clearly telling me it was ok to confess ...no judgement. "So ..she isn't your first ?"

"umm...she isn't the first...nor the second...nor even the third."

"I never did have any idea Brenda..none whatsoever."

"Yeah, but you know what ? " I said, and conjured up some as much sensuality in my voice as I call upon, "I kinda wish you did....I kinda wish alot of things about you," I flirted.

Her usual playful, light spirited manner of conversation changed to a much more serious tone...and her nervousness was ever more noticeable. "are you trying to tell me something ?"

"maybe."
"Ohhhh Kay....why don't you, " she paused while I held my breath to hear what she would say next, "why don't I get comfortable here and tell me about this...since you kept this secret from me ...you owe me...tell me everything."

"everything?"

"Yes...tell me about ...the affair your having...tell me if she's making you happy...tell me about the SEX girl ...whats THAT like."

"Well ..she is ...10 years younger, beautiful, adores me, thinks she loves me, and the sex is the best I ever had period. BUT ...ummm...its hard to describe but...you know...she's ten years younger. WE communicate..but..we don't have that much in common."

"Except the sex?"

"Pretty much."
"How did you hook up ? WHERE are you hooking up ?"

So I told her about the way I had met her in the discount store, been attracted to her almost instantly, "and her eyes just kept telling me..every time I saw her, to cmon and make a move...so I did...and we did...we do." I told her about our motel trysts and lakeside parking and hopping in the backseat. "you can't believe how twisted you can get and what positions you sacrifice your body for when there's your that hot for each other and the only place to go is the car." I told her my car stayed sweetly scented of our sex for a couple of days after we made love there.
"Well ..give me the details ...they say nobody knows how to make love to a woman like another woman ...so...thats obviously true?" I was pleased...she wanted me to tell her ...even titillate her ..which I fully intended to follow through on. I could tell the ball was rolling downhill and I didn't care to stop it. Signs were that she was open to what may become of us...I was warmed...and anxious to get the answer I needed."

"Faye, it's not just about the sex...techniques and sure, knowing a woman's body of course...but I don't think that's as important as just the sensual connection ...I mean it's just easier to get there ...the trust ...and so the more we spend time together, at least sexually, the more comfortable we are ...better the kisses are, the more she makes me wet, the more soaked the sheets get when we do it ...or wherever we are, ..and Faye, I know we used to talk about how much I love to give head ....and that was true...I love the feel of a thick, throbbing, pulsing dick filling my mouth with come...but dear, you can never believe how good it feels to feel a woman respond to my mouth, lips, and tongue ....how powerful it feels inside to cause a woman to lose control during oral when I'm devouring her like I haven't been fed in a week ...that response ...oh gawd Faye (I was laying it on thick and I KNEW it would provoke something in her mind, and elicit a moisture between her legs) Faye...there is not one thing better sexually ..for me anyway...nothing that makes me feel better than to know I'm giving such ultimate pleasure to a woman with my mouth and ...you know..all the other things that feel so good. I used to tell you I'm a giver ...I need to give pleasure, that's just the way I am wired ya know, but ...it is sooo good to feel appreciation when a woman starts to feel it, get into it, push against me, when she needs me and that orgasm...or I should say THOSE orgasms...start to build and get closer and let go ...the shaking...the holding on ...its total bliss...oh my gawd girl I can't even tell you...." Then I laughed ...>"Ohhhh I am sure that is just wayyyyy too much information."
"no ..." her breathing was evident..."no its ok."
"should I go on ?"

She took a deep, noticeably horny breath," yeah...go on...keep going...I mean..she does it to you too of course?"

"ummm hmmm...yes," I began,"but that's never been the main thing with me before, but I found someone who is ...oh you'll laugh....I mean...remember how eager to please young guys are ...but they don't have ...you know..the skills ...well..she is VERY eager to please ...so...yes she's very good with her mouth ...but...I kinda get off alot more when I'm doing her than when she's doing me....in fact...the best part of her doing me is knowing how much she likes to please me...and that's cool.

"Yeah that part I can relate to ...it's like that with men."

"You know what I'm going to say?"

"It's nothing like sex with men?"

"Completely different...almost two totally different worlds...I mean ..both have orgasms and feel good but ...there is a sixth sense with women ...." The intensity was getting to me and I was bursting forth with information, eroticism, and curiosity to how exactly she was taking this in, and where it was going to lead ...which I believed based on her breathing, might be going towards the consummation I desired more sooner than later.

"Gawd Brenda....you have a way with words."

INTENSITY between us...I was going for it, she knew it, and it was happening. I was wet, I knew damn good and well she was, and we were together in this. My ying to her yang...my describing these things to her in the way that I usually write, how well aware I was that a figment of my writing was making its way into this conversation, and her allowing it and fostering it as it continued. It wasn't phone sex per se, but it was an erotic and intimate phone conversation ...and my anxiousness to know, not just suspect, but really KNOW if she knew how much I wanted her sweet lips upon mine and the bliss that would follow, and if she was considering our lesbian possibilities (now could she not?)

She sounded a fake perturbed," how come you never told me any of this before ?"

" I don't know...you were married I guess...I didn't think I could...I'm not open about this to anyone at all..."

"Gawd girl...I used to get wet when you'd talk about giving blowjobs ...you don't want to know where my fingers are going when we're done talking ."

Feelings came rushing forth ...wow...she was mine for the taking. I felt like I was getting good at this lesbian seduction thing. Always so afraid of this since my high school friend rejected me, and here I was on the verge of a winning streak. I contemplated saying that her fingers didn't have to wait , or that mine were doing the same thing, but things just flow sometimes, and the perfect thing to say came right out of my mouth. "Well, if I might wanna come over there this afternoon, I wouldn't want you to start without me."

She drew her words out slowly ..."ohhhhhh myyyyy gawd."

"Im sorry," I retreated.

"I ...just...never....thought I'd be ...like...I mean...I told you...that ...it's just....nobody ever ...and...you're just ..shit..I can't even talk."

I went from confidence to experiencing some doubt, and my fight or flight instinct called upon me to spew forth a monologue that was built upon the sexual frustation of the previous few days of fantasizing of her and preying upon her in the phone call, as well as the frustration of my lifetime of hushing my true lesbian voice.
"Faye, I mean...What the fuck ..so what ...I am far from the sweet little church lady you or anyone else may think I am sometimes, but I really ....girl, I really don't want to talk about the girl I'm screwing, don't necessarily want to talk about women I slept with before her cause damnit ..I wanted to tell you for the longest time about me and today...after Saturday...after the last few years...alot has changed about me Ok, ..I'm trusting you ...and I wouldn't even tell you ..." ( started to get even more emotional the point of tears) ...wouldn't even tell you about THAT aspect of my sex life if I didn't trust you ...and I wouldn't even tell you if ...IF..." and I just stopped. I waited for her to fill in the line ..add some perspective ...silence between us ...she knew and we all knew. And ...this is the NEW me ...I do this now ...I now actually make passes at women...what a mountain THAT was to climb, and how far I have come...and so I did it ..what felt right ...what i wanted to do and what I needed to do ...I''d come this far on instinct ...and my instinct guided me further. "Faye .... " I said getting ready to let her know that she was my latest object of affection.

"Faye....I ummm...I just think when I see your eyes, and when I saw you Saturday..I just realized ...I mean ...you are about the most beautiful woman I can ever imagine...the way you talk to me, the way you treat me when it's just us and when we are around everyone ...I just could sit her all day and fill you up with compliments and nice things....and a little bullshit too (we laughed) but mostly ....like ....Faye, if you want me to tell you about lesbian sex, I think we are both big girls and there probably isn't much i could tell you that you haven't imagined or seen or read that women do in bed ...and I'm not kidding about how incredible the girl I am with now is ...but ...she doesn't fill my soul ...Faye...my LESBIAN soul...she doesn't fill it up the way I need it filled ...and so ...ummm..when it comes to telling you about what is done with our lips, tongues, fingers, bodies and desire....that's a conversation I don't MIND having on the phone ...I want to tell you though that ...If you were here I'd be telling you with a wet, warm ....passionate kiss....I've wanted to kiss you almost since I knew you...and that's the most truthful thing I have ever told you." I breathed in a paused...got no audible reaction from her so I continued, "having said that ..I know you are at least mostly straight ...but I wouldn't be telling you all this if I didn't think there just a morsel of a chance that you and I might be able to really connect ...really have a different kind of friendship...cause I feel like I just have got to know what it is like when you are coming all over my tongue....I have wanted to kiss you since Saturday morning...maybe I've wanted to kiss you for years."

"maybe I'm gonna let you."

"today?"

"do you want to today?"

"I want to see what happens if you'll let me."
So ...that's how it began...and before the call was over, she told me she was going to take a shower and unlock the door, and for me to just come straight up to her bedroom when I got there.

I wore my red bra and red silk panties, and she met me at he bedroom door in a light blue nightgown ..her nipples already poking through the thin sheer fabric. No makeup, her reddish hair brushed out and fluffy ...her only scent from the body wash ...just clean and warm. We talked the smallest of small talk before we began to kiss and consummate what had started on the phone. Her "I'm so wet for you," comment came as we broke our very first, tender, soft tongued kiss...and so I touched her there within minutes of making my way into her house and slowly up the stairs in such delicious anticipation. And she was right ...the things we had discussed had her soaked and ready for my fingers to slip within her while she spilled warmly into my massaging palm. It was difficult not to go fast ....her pleasure was at my mercy as she submitted control to me, her deep passionate kisses getting deeper and deeper with each stroke of her button or lift of her ample breast. Her nipples, already stiff with excitement when my head lowered sucked them through the fabric of her gown ...the first of many times that afternoon a gasp was accompanied by her nails gently digging into my back, or my shoulders, or my breast as I turned myself around to invite her hands to touch my body as I tongued and fingered her pussy to wave after convulsing orgasmic wave of pleasure.

All afternoon we traded fingers and mouths, and shrieked and moaned and enjoyed our new found closeness until the last possible minutes before mom duty called.

We have agreed to keep some distance ...separate the sex from the friendship ..a.nd while I understand that and her desire to stay in her "normal" life and me in mine, with each time we've been together since (two times since then as I write this) her affections for me and mine for her become more evident, and her jealousies of the young one when I meet her are showing me her feelings for me are deeper than she admits.

And what to the fantasy of the three of us altogether ? Well....sometimes fantasies DO become realities.

1 comment:

pjja1000 said...

I loved your story! I can relate to you very much! I am a bi guy and a lot of what you said in your story is the same for us guys! THANK-YOU for understanding! We are friends on EP! Hope to hear from you! pjja1000