Who Am I ? akiss2desire is a Bible Belt Blogging Bi Big Beautiful Babe who has been sharing her writing, mostly 1st person lesbian erotica, short stories, poetry, and lesbian pop culture realizations from both the experience and fantasy perspectives to an ever growing audience. I recently passed a million page views ! Thanks for the nominations for the Lezzie awards honoring best lesbian erotica on the web.

Those who have come here regularly know that I have taken a bit of a hiatus from posting and publishing, but my past work is still here and if you are new here there is much to be consumed. I am working on several stories right now and writing from the same mix of experience and fantasy that readers have told me they loved.

Those stories will be the foundation of my upcoming compilation book. Today, you get to read for free. Welcome, and I hope you stay awhile.

Wednesday

First Lesbian Love Letter Fantasy



Dear Jennifer

I have to say this to you in a letter. I rehearsed this so many times, that everytime I thought about talking to you face to face, that I felt I wouldn't know how to finish ..much less how to start.


From the first time I met you, I liked everything about you...and its become obvious to me that it's not just like ..but as we used to say in 4th grade...I like like you. I mean...I am attracted to you...that way ...and I don't want to lose you as a friend, but I also don't want to miss out on something deeper between us because I was afraid to tell you how I felt. If you are offended, I am sorry ... I almost didn't tell you because of that statement you made the other day at the store about how your pastor feels about gay marriage and how you agreed with him about alot of what he said. I wanted to start questioning you at that time about your feelings about bisexuality ..but it was hectic ..and im not sure I had the guts yet anyway. In fact as I write this email, I wont KNOW I have the guts until I actually click send.

I'm not ashamed of how I feel ...but you can understand I don't want anyone to know about this. You know how it is around here. Some people are just assholes. So ...if, as I expect there is a strong possibility, that you aren't interested in me "that way," then I hope you can resist the urge to tell everyone we both know what I have done here.

You may be asking if I am lesbian...I have to tell you I don't know myself. I think it is not bisexual that I am ..irregardless of my endlessly heartbreaking heterosexual love life. that you know all about. You may be asking if I have ever done this ...well..the answer is no ...not all the way anyway. Not enough that it counts ...just some experimentation at Jane's slumber party last year ...I tried to tell you when we talked about it that all those people who did something they think they regret..Well, I didnt do anything I didn't regret...and you know I didnt say I didnt do anything...just didnt do anything I regret :) In fact...probably wanted more to happen than what did. Is it ok if for now, I don't tell you who I was kissing with that night ? I will tell you eventually if you really want to know ....I just don't want this letter to be about that. The one I was with that night has made it clear that she "isn't that way," so apparently, my kisses didn't do the same for her as hers did for me.

I guess what I am telling you is that I have known for some time, even before Jane's party, that I have lesbian tendancies...and I go back and forth between them scaring me, and them really turning me on. Its gotten stronger and I knew for the last year that I was just waiting for the right girl ..and so ..the I am telling you the right girl is you.

I guess its true that I have not known how to step up and be what I am. I have had very very erotic and graphic dreams about women, and lately, about you specifically. If you want to know the truth, in my mind, I have had ALOT of lesbian experience ...just none for real ..skin to skin ..desire to desire. I want to feel that with you, and I believe you may probably want this with me as well, but here we are and ONE of us has to be the one to say it ...so it's me ..and this is how I am saying it.



I want our first kiss ....I want to pull you onto the bed with me. I want to show you the things I have been dreaming of every night now ..licking your body with my warm tongue ...against your neck, your thighs, your your beautiful breasts, and where your wetness spills out for me. I know I can show you that for me, this is not just about sex and having orgasms ...and ..it's not about experimentation ...cause for me, experimentation came at that party ...for me ...it's wanting to make love with you. I mean ..really make love. I want to give all of myself to you and let you now how wet it makes me to think of these things with you. I have been dreaming about your boobs and your pussy for so long it has been hard not to just blurt it out ..and I can't tell you how many times I have almost just kissed you...the latest was the other night after you let me give you that long backrub. Each time you kinda moaned and showed your enjoyment, I wanted to take the next step...I almost did ..and I just went home, laid in bed, did myself if you know what I mean...and decided to write this letter. I have to let you know how I feel, even if it is a big risk.


You KNOW I don't want anyone else to know about any of this. I want you to email me, or you can call me ..any hour is ok, my phone will be at my bedside on vibrate. We are best friends already...I dont want to lose that..I just want the next level.

Please tell me what you are thinking cause i will be on edge til i know how you feel.

Love

Brenda

Friday

Intuition ...a lesbian erotic dream





INTUITION
by brenda


We were talking one day, about guys ...like two heterosexual girls (without the secret revealed) and i asked her , " Stacy, when you are with a guy ...like this is the opposite of faking it ...do you ever ...tone it down ? ....like ..if I am about to explode ..he's making me come so freakin hard....I feel like I have to tone it down some cause its so ..you know..unladylike...and what a shame...but...I just dont know if he can handle whats abut to come out of me ( I am laughing hysterically as this comes out of my mouth) ..so ..I mentally ..sort of diminish it...reallly hold it back.

I wouldn't do that with you, I said.

and so it began. overture accepted. I had a feeling we would be together ....finally !


SO ....that innocent discussion led to one first after another ... a kiss, a giggle, after a giggle some serious looks, admiration of each others nudity after removing our clothes, climbing into bed together unsure, making out, laughing, loving, learning and .....allllllllllll I wanted from the moment I had first seen her that night was to go down on her with abandonment of all



Our eyes met at the moment before my dream was about to come true. I saw desire like never before combined with desperation, and trust in me that I would subside your fears with my upcoming loving kiss. In your eyes I so clearly saw what I think I NEEDED to see...that you wanted me to do this TO you ...and I wondered if your eyes saw in me as much as I wanted to DO THIS TO YOU, and I wondered as well, if you realized as much as I did, that we were soooo doing this together. In a "this is it," motion, I grabbed a handful of her mound and squeezed softly, surrounding her clit with the fullness of my touch.

Licking her just below her clit and twirling my tongue while pulling up on her lips. we were sooooo together in this intimacy as my finger entered her below my chin....softly into her loving opening. unbelievably wet, and her walls hungrily swallowed my fingers deeper inside her while her liquid passion spilled onto me and into me warm and delicious, not on flavor, but for the desire and fullfillment that engulfed my body and soul as I began to present to her the ways I wanted to create her pleasure.

The flirting and fun side of her has evaporated ...I have penetrated her soul with my fingers and tongue ...you have the magic touch she tells me....you know how to do it ..she tells me...

her pussy is squeezing my fingers....when i twist my wrist she says "like that.." so I do it again, and making sure, "like that ?" "oh yes" please dont stop.

a slow bottom to top lick from her wet lips to her stiff clit

a swirl around that clit while my fingers part her and gently enter

and a rapidly fluttering tongue upon her clit while her leg muscles contract and she absorbs the pleasure



I know its cliche, but later when she told me "it was just like you read my mind," I absolutely loved her telling me that. I drank in the compliments of astoundment...the "I didn't know anythingt could feell so good, " and the over the top " there is nobody in the world that does that ..that COULD do that, better than you did." Yes, I am just vane enough to love to hear my praises ...after all, there was something inside that wanted to believe it.

I havent been touched in sooo long

My pleasure is her pleasure ...but she did in fact make me come with her fingers like nothing I had ever felt as well. But....gosh it was so different and hard to describe why ...like it was more about emotion than technique ...how I felt inside her soul as it happened ...clutching her tightly, moaning and gasping loudly , and hardly able to control where my rolls and clinches would takes us both on the bed. I was concious of something specific...the tingles that were not specific to a body part being stimulated...my full body was involved the whole time. I was literally on fire and throbbing head to toe...and of course...much moreso where it mattered. It felt out of body and my mind was noiseless except for the feelings and emotions of total pleasure. We were riding this soft wave together.

Breathing unsteady...sporadic and sucking the air through my teeth....my BIG one ...Oh I hadn't been touched in so long I can't tell you how it poured out of me.

POWERFUL....the muscles contracting and releasing this heavenly ...the sex of it...orgasm. But MORE POWERFUL...her holding me...guiding me "thats it baby thats it". WIll it ever subside...she lets it before knowing the exact moment to begin again.

Through intuition we are so enlightened to every one of the five senses...and indeed, deeper involved in the sixth of our souls completely combined.



Could I Ever Come Out as a Lesbian To My Mom ?


Could I Ever Come Out as a Lesbian To My Mom ?

NO.


Well .. at least that is what I think and say now. It's complicated ..but ..for ME the answer is now. However, let me pass along something to you . If you are a subscriber to Netflix, they will now let you just watch certain vids, movies, and tv shows free. I don't get the LOGO network here so I was glad to see that Coming Out Stories was free ...I watched an episode called Mom Im a Lesbian ..where the woman, whom I felt a pretty great connection with in style, attitude, age, and especially the whole deep in the closet thing, was coming out, first to her sister , and then, to her dying mother. I cried a few times. It was very very touching and heartwarming story with true emotion. So ...I am saying if you have 20 free minutes in front of the computer, and a netflix subscription, watch that one and enjoy. Watch the many creative words and phrases she constructs to say she is happy dating women instead of men, ..never saying "gay,"
or "lesbian." I think "mom, i love to eat pussy more than your famous macaroni salad in summer," might have been too much.

Maybe someday I can come out too.

Back in the closet for now... but with my little teeny light so I can write some more things for this blog soon. I finally got nailed for being too sexual by adsense ...it was my "first time" story that finally did the trick. >>I took it off the site and they said my site was still too much for their standards...so what the hell, its back now.

Governors Daughter Comes Out ...I just can't


Katherine Patrick is 18, the very public daughter of the Massachusetts Governor, and thats awfully young to know who you are. But ..I wish I had KNOWN KNOWN ...although I knew from the age of 12 that I was AT LEAST bisexual. Being in the closet in the middle of the bible belt is not a great way, but its the only way it seems for me ..for now. I watch those in the public eye acknowledge and I also see some disavow, like Lindsay Lohan.

and then there is california ....


I always said what goes on peoples bedrooms is their own business...its just that, if you are gay, and you are in a room of 20 people, only 10 of them are of the same sex as you, and if only one in 10 is gay, then guess what, YOU are IT ..the ONLY partner in the room for you is YOU. And then, how do you know right ?

Sure...I can just see me the first Sunday in church ..."what happened in your lifethis week?" "oh..I came out as a lesbian...how about you ?"

So ... I never got to be the Rock Star I planned on being when singing into the hairbrush in front of the mirror ... and I never quite made it to the cover of Rolling Stone either. I still haven't become a R E A L published author ...so I watch others who became the things I long or longed to become and live life through their eyes sometimes. I will have to do this about my sexuality, it would seem, for life.

Check Out These Blog Reads