Moving Vagina Monologues Excerpt -Not Jane Fonda :)

I first heard this about 4 years ago on HBO. It inspired me.

I INTERVIEWED A WHOLE GROUP OF SEX WORKERS,

AND OBVIOUSLY WOMEN WHO DO SEX WORK
HAVE RICH, COMPELLING,
COMPLEX RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEIR VAGINAS.
THIS PARTICULAR WOMAN BLEW MY MIND.
SHE WAS A SEX WORKER, BUT SHE ONLY DID SEX WORK WITH WOMEN.
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU GO OUT WITH SOMEONE
AND YOU THINK THEY'RE IN THE SAME ZONE AS YOU
AND FIVE MINUTES INTO THE CONVERSATION YOU'RE LIKE,
"OH, MY GOD !"
THAT'S WHAT IT WAS LIKE WITH THIS WOMAN.
YOU KNOW, YOU TRY TO BE HIP.
"RIGHT, RIGHT."
MEANWHILE YOUR HEAD'S BEING BLOWN OFF,
YOU JUST HOPE YOUR SCARF WILL CONCEAL IT.
I WROTE THIS FOR HER.
. I LOVE VAGINAS
I LOVE WOMEN.
I DO NOT SEE THEM AS SEPARATE THINGS.
WOMEN PAY ME TO DOMINATE THEM,
TO EXCITE THEM,
TO MAKE THEM COME.
I DID NOT START OUT LIKE THIS.
NO, TO THE CONTRARY...
I STARTED OUT AS A LAWYER.
, BUT IN MY LATE 30s
I BECAME OBSESSED WITH MAKING WOMEN HAPPY.
IT BEGAN AS A MISSION OF SORTS,
BUT THEN I GOT INVOLVED IN IT.
I GOT VERY GOOD AT IT, KIND OF BRILLIANT.
YOU COULD SAY I FOUND MY CALLING.
I STARTED GETTING PAID FOR IT.
. I WORE OUTRAGEOUS OUTFITS WHEN I DOMINATED WOMEN
LACE, SILK,
LEATHER.
I USED PROPS...
WHIPS, ROPES,
HANDCUFFS, DILDOS.
THERE WAS NOTHING LIKE THIS IN TAX LAW.
THERE WAS NO PROPS , NO EXCITEMENT,
AND I HATED THOSE BLUE CORPORATE SUITS,
ALTHOUGH I HAVE TO TELL YOU,
I WEAR THEM NOW IN MY NEW LINE OF WORK,
. AND THEY FIT IN NICELY
CONTEXT IS EVERYTHING.
THERE WAS NO WETNESS.
THERE WAS NO DARK, MYSTERIOUS FOREPLAY.
NO ERECT NIPPLES.
NO DELICIOUS MOUTHS,
BUT MAINLY THERE WAS NO MOANING.
NOT THE KIND I'M TALKING ABOUT ANYWAY.
I SEE NOW THAT MOANING WAS THE KEY.
IT WAS THE THING THAT ULTIMATELY SEDUCED ME
AND GOT ME ADDICTED TO MAKING WOMEN HAPPY.
I MADE LOVE TO QUIET WOMEN, OKAY ?
I FOUND A PLAC E INSIDE THEM,
THEY SHOCKED THEMSELVES IN THEIR MOANING.
I MADE LOVE TO MOANERS AND THEY FOUND A DEEPER,
MORE PENETRATING MOAN.
I BECAME OBSESSED, I LONGED TO BE IN CHARGE,
LIKE A BANDLEADER OR A CONDUCTOR.
, IT WAS A KIND OF SURGERY, A KIND OF DELICATE SCIENCE
FINDING THE EXACT LOCATION OR HOME OF THE MOAN.
THAT'S WHAT I CALLED IT.
SOMETIMES I FOUND IT OVER A WOMAN'S JEANS.
SOMETIMES I SNUCK UP ON IT, OFF THE RECORD,
QUIETLY DISARMING THE SURROUNDING ALARMS
AND MOVING IN.
, SOMETIMES I USED FORCE
BUT NOT VIOLENT, OPPRESSING FORCE, NO.
MORE LIKE DOMINATING,
"I'M GONNA TAKE YOU SOMEPLACE,
WHY DON'T YOU LAY BACK, ENJOY THE RIDE" KIND OF FORCE.
SOMETIMES IT WAS SIMPLY MUNDANE.
I FOUND THE MOAN BEFORE THINGS EVEN STARTED,
WHILE WE WERE EATING CHICKEN OR SALAD IN THE KITCHEN,
RIGHT THERE, WITH MY FINGERS ALL MIXED IN
WITH THE BALSAMIC VINEGAR.
SOMETIMES I USED PROPS, I LOVE PROPS.
SOMETIMES
I MADE THE WOMAN FIND HER OWN MOAN
. IN FRONT OF ME
I WAITED.
I STUCK IT OUT UNTIL SHE OPENED HERSELF.
I WAS NOT FOOLED BY THOSE MINOR, MORE OBVIOUS MOANS.
NO...
I PUSHED HER FURTHER,
ALL THE WAY
INTO HER POWER MOAN.
NOW...
THERE'S THE CLIT MOAN.
EH, EH, EH...
THE VAGINAL MOAN.
OH, OH, OH...
THE COMBO CLIT-VAGINAL MOAN.
EH-OH, EH-OH, EH-OH...
THE ALMOST MOAN.
. THE ON-IT MOAN
OH... OH...
THE ELEGANT MOAN.
( laughing )
THE GRACE SLICK MOAN.
( high-pitched moan )
THE WASP MOAN.
( no sound )
THE SEMI-RELIGIOUS MOAN.
OY, OY, OY...
THE MOUNTAINTOP MOAN.
( yodeling )
THE BABY MOAN.
OH-AH, OH-AH, OH-AH...
. THE DOGGY MOAN
( fast panting )
THE SOUTHERN MOAN.
YEA, YEA, YEA !
THE MILITANT, UNINHIBITED BISEXUAL MOAN.
HO, HO, HO, HO !
THE MACHINE-GUN MOAN.
( machine-gun sounds )
THE TORTURED ZEN MOAN.
AH, OH, AH...
THE DIVA MOAN.
! AHHHHHH ! AHHHHHH
AND FINALLY,
THE SURPRISE TRIPLE-ORGASM MOAN.
OH, GOD, THAT'S REALLY GOOD, DON'T STOP.
THAT'S, OH, THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT--
OH, THAT'S IT.
OH, MY GOD, OH, THAT'S REALLY GOOD, OH, THAT'S, OH MY GOD !
AHH... !
( continuous moaning )
EEE-AHHHH... !