Who Am I ? akiss2desire is a Bible Belt Blogging Bi Big Beautiful Babe who has been sharing her writing, mostly 1st person lesbian erotica, short stories, poetry, and lesbian pop culture realizations from both the experience and fantasy perspectives to an ever growing audience. I recently passed a million page views ! Thanks for the nominations for the Lezzie awards honoring best lesbian erotica on the web.

Those who have come here regularly know that I have taken a bit of a hiatus from posting and publishing, but my past work is still here and if you are new here there is much to be consumed. I am working on several stories right now and writing from the same mix of experience and fantasy that readers have told me they loved.

Those stories will be the foundation of my upcoming compilation book. Today, you get to read for free. Welcome, and I hope you stay awhile.

Sunday

I write a Lesbian Blog ..this is my personal letter to you.


Who am I and why do I do this ?????

I am a bisexual (by definition) 30 year old married in the closet mom in the BIBLE BELT (yes I am a Christian) where "this kind of thing ..we just don't look too favorably upon that kind of behavior." Almost nobody would understand, though I know some would ...and most everyone who really THINKS he or she knows me knows absolutely none of this side of me....though I realize that can't last forever.

And about sex ..ahem ... as of this writing, its been a loooooong time for me since I ....

I come to the internet, like many closeted women here.... at first it was curiousity getting fed and then the realization of the possibilities in many facets of everything I had been internalizing since I understood what women in love and lust with each other actually did, which caused me to instantly realize that "of course I am bisexual. (now I add..if not defined as lesbian if I HAVE to wear a label)As for reality, I have had a very few mutually satisfying experiences ...nothing I would characterize as "earthshaking," but nonetheless a set of growing experiences in various forms which I can draw upon in real life, as well as within my fantasy. So, of the here and there emails that I receive from the writing of this blog, one of the most common questions I am asked is "did that really happen." And my only answer to that is that I have usually drawn from my imagination and experience to get the feelings out in the open. Some has happened, some has been amplified ...some has been dreamed. In reality, I am sometimes in "play" for the possibliity of discreet passion ...and more often than not, that has fallen through, but at the exact moment I write this, I am reasonably close to fullfiling some true fantasies i think...and so the possibity exists that I will have the chance to show my pent up affection to someone who "gets me" and ...if the chemistry is right, I have all intentions of making her VERY happy that she met me. :) Just trying to get the timing and location correct ...so who knows what juicy tidbits of reality I may have to write about very soon. I have re-concocted the writing of my "first time" story ...I wrote it a couple of years ago on my first blog and it just poured out of me ...when I deleted that blog it vanished forever ...and now I find myself re-writing this very personal story and agonizing over every word. I have to say that at the moment it is farrrrr from the most erotic thing I ever wrote ...but ..it is evolving ...and I hope to publish it here very soon.

I am told I have a way with words, and for me the blog began as an outlet to share my dreams, fantasies, and desires with more than just one person at a time. It's not well thought out, and I mix in some topical lesbian news and a few juicy passionate kisses (cue mary chapin carpenter) ..and then sometimes when the inspiration hits ...when the libido peaks and my free time affords me the moemnts I need to rat tat tat out my creativity in this form, sometimes, I am told, I strike a chord with some...and nothing makes me feel better than to get an email from someone who says I connected with her. Sometimes what I write is introspective, sometimes heavily erotic. Sometimes truth, sometimes fantasy. Sometimes a novel of War & Peace length, and other times the blurb of heated emotion or horniness. And ..exceptions to every rule ...and twigs surounding every branch.
me=oversexed ...but not in the "weirdo" kind of way.

I admit i am ...something... I don't know if I have found the word for it yet. You can call it nymphmaniacal ... but thats not the description ..but ...i have a vey high sex drive that appears to have always been more than anyone else i ever knew. blunt ..but the truth. I have faith that somewhere out there is someone reading this and saying "I get you." Or maybe not...my confidence problem always rears it ugly head.

I tend to write about what makes one wet ...and for me ..those little blurbs about this that or the other celebrity can get a tingle. I respect the differences in a woman's sexual preference ...and I don't just mean the preference of just men or women ..but the differing degrees of mixing pleasure and pain, of ones differing needs for intimacy or lack therof. In sex, perhaps just as much as with fingerprints, everyone is different. So ..I tend to write about what turns ME on ..and if it brings you along, I am happy about that ...but as of yet, I don't really believe I have the talent to write about things that I either don't know about or things that don't "do it" for me....and I am sure that is what makes this blog very much "not for everyone."
Into my own head .. ..the fantasies play out ..and wet ..throbbing desire occurs. If there is connection ...this can become orgasmic ...even without direct inference of sexuality ...just the honesty between two women is an erotic thing when the underlying subject matter is of F2F sexuality. And ...from the barely experienced lesbian writing here, talking with the more experienced, lifetime experienced, all the way down to the barely curious, isn't one of the most erotic undertakings the matter of intiative. initiative is an erotic thing ...and is as personal and diverse as ones fingerprints ...of acting and being acted upon (girls ..do I have this right ?)
It'ss innocent or its raunchy and trashy or somewhere in between. It's moaning and oh baby I want to suck your ...or it's falling into each other in passionate embrace to fullfillment when it comes. What is a tease and who wants to be teased and to what degree? Always good for thinking, talking, dreaming, and in true practice the art of powersharing and mutual sharing of emotional and physical release. In my experiences with women ....the constant is that it seems we both got what we needed in the moment. That, however, is not to say that the heavens opened and the angels sung ...and it is also not meant to imply that orgasmic is something businesslike and cold. Intimacy and affection ...levels of these in variable states which change each second in the cosmic bubble between two lovers define what an experience is in a moment, or in two or five or eight hours of moments. Is it erotic, sensual, desirious ?That is where I go ...thats where I want you to go with me in this blog. Be patient with me because I am only one erotic being :) (and hey...I have my standards of excellence LOL) And who knows and with what words or experiences can happen. I just ask for your patience, and from a few, your continued friendship. It's just a blog ...but we can get wrapped into this thing together ...interactively ...and the quirky fun experience all the way to the vast overwhelming experience.

4 comments:

CHeeren said...

wow this is really honest. I love it. Thanks for telling your story in such a sincerely way. I totally relate. Im out to most everyone in my life, but I'm not at a point where I feel comfortable articulating what exactly it is about girls I like. So I'm nervous people don't take me seriously. Cause its really embarrassing to say I like to eat pussy! That's the honest truth. Keep writing please.
I was also hoping we might link our pages. My blog is a bit more light hearted but totally gay!!!
http://theblueheeren.blogspot.com
Anyway check it out, I hope to add your page if its ok with you.
Happy bloggin

My Secret Garden said...

"but ...i have a vey high sex drive that appears to have always been more than anyone else i ever knew. blunt ..but the truth. I have faith that somewhere out there is someone reading this and saying "I get you." Or maybe not...my confidence problem always rears it ugly head"
Baby, I am SOOOO that person somewhere out there ...

Lauren said...

Hey there---

I just stumbled across your blog through one of my followers. Though we are on opposite ends of the "coming out spectrum" [I'm 17, been out since I was 15], I feel your pain and isolation.

I really enjoy what I've read of your writing...it's so very honest and so very real. I hope that your journey through discovering and owning your sexuality brings you peace. Know that there are many more--young and not so young--out there in the Bible-belts that are right there with you.

Thanks for your writing, it's beautiful.

-Lauren

Dominique said...

Hello there,
I notice you have written this quite some time ago, but as I was scanning through your blog I felt the need to leave a comment :)
I got here because of your first time story. It was amazing. Really. My first time with a woman wasn't half as romantic as this, but it is how I wish it would have been.
I am bisexual also, and though I am Christian, I am lucky enough to live in an open-minded family. Yours might not have been this way, but I hope you can create a safe and open environnement for your own children :)
I kindly invite you stop by my blog. I have a couple illustrations that, although not sexually explicit, depict my fascination for women's delicate beauty. I hope you enjoy them.
Wish you the best,
Dom

Check Out These Blog Reads