Who Am I ? akiss2desire is a Bible Belt Blogging Bi Big Beautiful Babe who has been sharing her writing, mostly 1st person lesbian erotica, short stories, poetry, and lesbian pop culture realizations from both the experience and fantasy perspectives to an ever growing audience. I recently passed a million page views ! Thanks for the nominations for the Lezzie awards honoring best lesbian erotica on the web.

Those who have come here regularly know that I have taken a bit of a hiatus from posting and publishing, but my past work is still here and if you are new here there is much to be consumed. I am working on several stories right now and writing from the same mix of experience and fantasy that readers have told me they loved.

Those stories will be the foundation of my upcoming compilation book. Today, you get to read for free. Welcome, and I hope you stay awhile.

Friday

Thespian Lesbian ....

partial list of thespian lesbians
guniveve turner
ellen degeneres
michelle rodriguez
kirstanna loken
jeniffer beals
angelina jolie
sarah shahi
sara gilbert
portia de rossi
cynthia nixon
tammy lynn micheals
drew barrymore
karina lombard
gina gershon
leisha hailey
lucy liu

Wednesday

A fantasy meeting of my lesbian love --a first kiss


I am daydreaming about this time when we meet.

I have no idea where it is..but its a sunny day...I know that we are probably going to meet the first time in a restauraunt ...but for some reason in the daydream I am always thinking its like a parking lot or something.

The sky couldn't be more blue and its the middle of the day.

You are even more beautiful in person than in your pictures..and now I can see the beauty in your eyees that a picture can never pick up ..and the curve of the fabric around your breasts lets me know their weight, their sway and a hint of what your nipples look like, a subject i must confess that I have obsessed on a bit from time to time since the crush between us became so strong. You probably have no idea how badly I want you lately ..but my desire is as strong as ever as I crave your affection.

So there we are in this parking lot ..you are their first and as I drive up I recognize the description of your car ...i notice that you have noticed me driving up and when I pull up next to you, you look through the windows and smile at me..wave ...I do the same...put the car into park..check my purse and a quick check of my hair and makeup for the 100th time in the last hour...probably give myself a quick pep talk "this is it" and nervous, excited start to get out of my car and realize you too are getting out of your car. We are exchanging our first smiles and a hug ...a hug in my fantasy that is so tight because I am sooooo glad this moment has finally arrived. I am tempted to kiss you right there but realize we are in public and .....who knows..you may be seeing me for the first time and realizing you aren't really attracted to me...too fat or something.

Even though we both know WHY we are here together at this moment..I cant' help but be so so so nervous and it shows in our small talk...you look great...you say i do..I love that you wore something for me that shows so much cleavage and I have already noticed that you noticed mine when I walked toward you the first time....we knew this is how some of this would be...but now its the reality and we talk about each other instead of ourselves...the mutual admiration society commences its meeting and you have turned me into a giddy schoolgirl who is trying to impress her first crush.

In this fantasy I realize that I will probably be so nervous and wanting to know if you really like me..probably looking for signs that we could have something deeper and stronger than the orgasmic sex that seems a given that will happen between us if not today, then sometime...and that at some point with whatever is said, I feel comfortable enough to take a deep breath and relax ..then I know I can look at you...just LOOK at you in a sexual way and start to think of what it really will be like.

But in my fantasy ..today can't be that day ...because we are pressed for time...only an hour maybe an hour and a half. You have told me that you can find a place for us to go ...but I have no idea where.... so I say..."are you ready to get out of ths parking lot," and we have to decide which car to take....it seems logical to take whichever has the most room ( i have a small size SUV) ...but whichever car we take...I am wanting YOU to drive (in the fantasy...reality can be different if we want it to be)

So you in the drivers seat ..me in the passengers seat...before you start the car a moment when I say "hey...we are alone...finally." and I reach out my hand to squeeze your thigh..."is it ok ?" "yes" .. "no hard feelings if you back out ok?" "Im not backing out.....are you?" "ive never wanted you more" "ive wanted to be alone with you for so long."


The car starts and we start to pull away...where are you taking me....how far? how private will it be? As you drive I am so excited and just looking at your face and your curves and beggining to tingle. I check the mirror again...ask myself if I overdid the makeup ..the eyeshadow ...did i make a mistake going with that shade of blue for our "first date." ...wondering if this was a dress to impress date or in this middle of the day setting where unfortunately you have to return to work (but I dont,) if I left you at perceived disadvantage by wanting you to see my dress up side while you were forced to be conservative enough to go back to work. Still small talk til you get where you are going. I sincerely have no idea in reality where you will take us ..dying to know :) but have imagined a very secluded spot where we will nto be discovered. I touch your thigh as you drive...you hold my hand ...we continue the sighs, deep breaths of nervousness and smiles...you say what I'm thinking and i say what you are thinking as we go down the road to the place.

The vehicle turns off and we are alone ..very alone..I didn't know this secluded place exhisted...and so...and so....and SO ... this ....is indeed IT. THE MOMENT for us. My seat belt comes unbuckled and I know we are aboytut to kiss ..but how? we both sooooooooo know its coming. and want it. i can feel you want all that this will allow us...It's like I can feel your skin pulsating under my lips, and yet I havent touched you like that yet. and again..with you going back to work ...it cant allow us much....we must restrain some...and i wonder how greedy we will be with our wants.

You want to get out or stay in the car ? We decide to stay in (in my fantasy) ..and I come closer to you and lay my head upon your shoulder. My right arm goes around you to your shoulder and then your neck...my forearm is against your breast and we are both aware that we have noticed that fact. can i just lay here lke this for a few minutes..you say its ok and i caress you...you caress me back...tell me its nice..its not rushed. My gawd what a rush it is to look into your beautiful eyes and feel your desire.

You tell me we have to leave at a certain time...and we will keep an eye on the clock..but that time girl..that time will go so fast....racing faster than the beats of my heart at the moment.

Things have a certain order it seems...though I know in the future at a moment like this I would be very comfortable caressing your breasts right now...I know our lips must come together. You are so beautiful as I scoot high enough in the seat to get at your level..a bit above it...not yet...i caress your thigh....and come very close to your crotch without going there yet...you compliment my touch without a word...just the look in your eyes....ready for this ? spoken or unspoken ..thats where we are...i KNOW you are about to know the softness in a kiss like you have never felt and that fact turns me on even more...

lips ............. tongue ............... soft moan ............. melt ............ deeper ..... open your eyes and look into mine ...we have arrived here together in this moment

kiss me back and i will kiss you deeper still.
and I can wait no longer to feel the weight of your breast in my right hand as it lowers from behind your neck.
shifting to be closer and against each other our bodies make the best of what we can in the vehicle.

but

oh babe...so much the desire..we are both flowing into our panties (if you wore any LOL) ...and ...we cant finish what we are starting...today we are just making out...but ...we need and want more.....

did you wear something that i can touch you down there in ? I will know your wetness. I want your hands upon my breasts and take your hand and put it there. I can feel the electricity shoot through you as well as me. oh melt into this with me darling...let this not be our last time but the first of so many.

I am afraid of pulling our shirts off or our panties down in a place that could be discovered....but i want to touch you ....i push a finger into your wetness...."do we need to stop" "please dont stop"
so good
i know
so let me like this
i lean up against the car door on my side of the vehicle...ask you to turn around and lean with your back up against my body..you are unsure...but like this i can smell your hair, kiss your sweet soft lips, enter your blouse with my left hand and feel your nipples harden and respond to my desire, and finger your wetness with my right hand ...and easily all at the same time.....it is not too tempting not to take you over the edge and feel your come....i whisper in your ear...i really wanted the first time to be with my mouth babe....promise me i can bury my face in your thighs soon..."yes" you reply... want me to take you all the way...."please" ...so I will ....you squirm, moan for me, call my name softly, and i bring you the explosion ..."i need to taste you" you tell me..and I assure you that you will ..but not today...unexpectedly you softly grab my wrist and bring my fingers covered in the wetness of your vagina and suck on my fingers...beautiful first with your eyes closed and open them to see me in admiration and pure lust.

our time is up..and we have to get you back to looking somewhat unsexed :) before you return.

more kisssing..more making out...more promises and promises to keep our promises

Tuesday

Big Brother Lesbian Scene

I try to watch Big Brother when I have the chance. ..not always great, but sometimes its alot of drama. I notice that they always have gay guys ...always on the show...I can only ever remember one woman who was lesbian ..and she made it to the final two. (same thing for survivor...ever remember an out lesbian on that show ?) But..I am only talking about Big Brother USA ...apparently there is alot of BB all over the place ..including in Bulgaria where ..the show looks there EXACTLY as it does here ....just a different language. ANYWAY ...there was a lesbian scene on that show that I stumbled upon accidentally (or as accidentally as you can when you google search big brother and lesbian LOL) ...and it was incredibly real, tender and hot. So...I didn't want to fill this blog up with alot of youtube vids but here is another one that I had to share.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Mf9ck9QLw0Q
of course you have to be 18

Monday

24 and Jack Bauer To Get A Lesbian President ... and it is NOT Hillary ?


A LESBIAN IN THE WHITE HOUSE ????

never mind the hot4hill video on youtube

It is not surprising from 24 after having given us the first black president in President Palmer ..and then another President Palmer, that Broadway actress Cherry Jones will play the President in next seasons 24 episodes on Fox TV with Keifer Sutherland. They haven't said that she will be a lesbian on the show, but she is a true life lesbian and is out with her girlfriend, whom I LOVED on the show (now cancelled) Sarah Paulson....someone I have to admit had no idea was lesbian but should have known when I felt so naturally attracted to her when watching the show.

So..is the timing of this impeccable ? We will be watching a female president as Hillary tries to become the first woman in the white house for real. Very Interesting and I can't wait.

Lesbian Hot For Hillary Clinton video ..wow ..its funny ..and..a bit erotic too


Taryn Southern was an American Idol Contestant and now she is Hot For Hillary Clinton in a video that someone emailed me.... I can't believe it .. a lesbian love song to Hillary.

Some Lyrics ...
"H-I-L-L-A-R-Y I know you're not gay but I'm hoping for bi...lingual,"
She talks of wanting and needing the candidate

Here is the link to the video
clicking on the picture at left doesn't work
http://youtube.com/watch?v=-Sudw4ghVe8


Here is a description of the video

video: school teacher of approximately 4th graders seated at the head of the class talking on a cell phone

hey hill I hope you dont mind all the messages

video: incoming message b obama ...she beeps back to original call

sorry about that

I have a crush on a girl named hill
but shes' nto with me shes with this guy named bill
but theres one thing i know i just sit still
until I see hill up on capitol Hill

hillary i think i want you
i think i need you
i like your hair
the pantsuits you wear
and the shape of your derriere

i could be your maid
or your white house aide
or the soldier who marches in your first parade


shes got style and class and a politcal past
obama is nice but youve got something he lacks (video: picture of the word ovaries)
lets seal the deal witha hug and a kiss
and put a hot chick in the oval office

H I L L ARY
I KNOW YOURE NOT GAY BUT IM HOPING FOR BI (video: screen says bilingual)

hillary i think i want you
i think i need you
i like your eyes
your foreign ties and how great are your ("thighs" apparently replaced with spoken insert and the word POLICIES)

the USA would be a better place
if everyone could just get a taste (video: eating hillarys cake)
of youuuuuuuu

(kids sing)
if we all had some hill
up on the hill

(back to her singing)
hillary i think i want youi think i need you
Hillary youve got great skin
better than most wo-men
you can totally WIN




Southern said that she is a straight woman."...I knew the comedy would come from a girl singing about a girl. That's what made the parody different from the Obama Girl video."

Funny and cute and I get it ... Great job to everyone who did this

Lindsay Lohan Lesbian Letters


A while back ...I don't know where I had found it ...but about a month ago I put on the blog here that I had found on the internet some notes about the very beautiful Lindsay Lohan being bisexual ..and thought maybe nothing will come of that. Now, apparently the whole world is about to find out that that isn't the half of it ..that she is gay and has a DJ girlfriend that she has been writing to and about on her myspace. Apparently the Star magazine is paying someone to give them the letters. Apparently some are quite explicit (yay! everyone needs a little erotica now and then) but the Star can't publish that ..just the PG stuff which someone has posted as :



“Your [sic] all I have to live for, babe. I want to marry you and have children with you. I need you to live!” Lindsay typed.


“Babe, if I don’t have you in my life then I should just go die,” wrote Lohan after getting into a fight with Samantha.


And Lindsay isn’t doing anything to quell the rumors. In her MySpace profile, she lists her sexual orientation as “bi” and status as “in a relationship.”


Gonna be following this one closely !

Sunday

Commentary On A Lesbian Kiss Video to share.


Here is a link to a youtube Lesbian Kiss Video that is easy enough for anyone to search on their own. http://youtube.com/watch?v=5UJan8TG-XM (clicking on the picture won't work)

OK ..it is 4minutes long and yes...it is two models who are getting paid to do this ...but watch it and you will see something very erotic and with some feelings I believe come to the surface and can be felt by the viewer.


a very good 20 seconds or so of two communicating "are you ready yet" into.."yes lets do this"

at :30 the blonde kisses the brunette with deep tongue and its clear it "gets her" you can almost feel the zing between them as "this is how it should be" and enough of the "hey we are doing this for money for the photog" is set aside for the two to begin to share the moment

at 1:12 it is the blonde womans "trust me and we will go there together" kiss ..the brunette still seeming a little overwhelmed and not quite "with" the blonde girl who is showing her attraction

at 1:30 the best closeup of two women finding IT together...the brunette begins to fall ...its getting deep and the "yes I am tingling too" moment between them has arrived

at 1:40 the brunette submits to the blonde in "i am yours if you really want me"

the power sharing shifts for 20 seconds as the brunette gives the blonde an "I'm not ready to stop ...dont you dare" passionate kiss that reassures the blonde and now there is forming a bubble that is blocking out the camera crew and "get the job done" aspect. Desire is definitely setting in for both

from 2:30 to 3:00 is the mutual admission that the sexual charge is there... we're getting wet and we are going to have to do something about it

3:00 to 3:30 is the blonde asserting "I have fallen for you and I am going to make you so happy when we are alone"

Each with such beautiful eyes and georgeous hair overlooking a beautiful scene ...the vid ends with me totally believing their love is blossoming.

I share this because it is just so hard to find pictures and vids of women who don't look so much like they are faking it. Have you found one like this to share ?

You know..these are MY personal feelings about this kiss ... I would love to know how someone else felt when watching. write me at akiss2desire@gmail.com



Saturday

The multiple orgasms of my first Lesbian Video experience

 I realize that this post is one of the most read on my blog.  I wrote it back in 2007 (at the time I was not using many X rated words on here)  I have tweaked it a bit to add some things I left out and remembered and fixed some misspellings as blogger didn't do spell check then.  This is a true story about the most times I came in one day ever and why.  In looking back I could have made this one sexier, but I have written about masturbation other times on this blog so I will let those posts speak for that.  Also ..spoiler ...I was a lesbian virgin at the time of this experience ...though it would be less than 3 months after this happened that I would first go down on a girl ...my lesbian desires, as you might undestand from this post, were coming to a critical mass.  enjoy:)



I have been saving much of this story in draft form for some time..I have wanted to write it here for awhile..and while I still don't think I have made this experience come to life as it was that day, it is a story ready to be told.

I have never been heterosexual ...between bisexual and more lately, identifying more with lesbian literature, media, music, and feelings.I remember a very very intense lesbian masturbatory experience

I had a vibrator in my senior year of high school ...literally went to Spencers (a mall store that sells blacklight posters, cool tshirts, and sexy games and yes...used to be the only place you could by vibrators in the local mall) and just bought it and was SCARED--  scared scared of anyone I knew seeing me or what the reaction of the male or female behind the counter would be ...as it turned out it was an understanding 30 something female who sensed my fear but still probably enjoyed the way my eyes must have flared when she said "would you like batteries with that mam ?"

I was using the vibrator nightly at first of course ...and yes ..I even once faked a sort of food poisoning on a date with a boy that was going next to nowhere so I could get back to my little sex partner sooner . I was going to bed earlier ...taking nighttime showers ... and spending alot less time on the phone, so you'd think my mom should have known what I was up to ..or that I was up to SOMETHING that I wanted to be in my bedroom ALOT.  It was moms vib which I found (but didn't dare to use for the sure realization that she would know)  that inspired me to be the first on my block to get one...I was trying to muster the courage to tell any of my girlfriends that I had one...but never told them.  It was not until college until the subject came up amongst a group of girls that I could say "yes..I've got one," and therefore proudly be out as a masturbator....good for me!  I WAS embarrassed...but also proud ..and in the group of the four of us, only one woman had yet to try one.



But back to high school, where I started to tell this story about how when I had a very close platonic friend named Billy who sometimes would just get to telling me anything about anything and was always always always good at getting anything contraband ..and this included beer, pot, and when we were 13, Penthouse magazines, which had the beautiful women that my already bisexual urges were appreciating.  More amazingly, in Penthouse,  the supposedly true stories of the guys and sometimes girls and their sexual exploits. Well ...I masturbated to those stories before and after I got my vibe ...but it was when Billy was talking about the porn video tapes that were being passed around a circle of his male friends that I had to ask him to be discreet....but I wanted to see one ..and of course...he made sure I had one to borrow for an overnight ..then another for a weekend...and when he said the one that was going around was only women and only "those lesbian scenes that are in all of them...you probably don't want that one"..I had to play it cool but ..convinced him I would like to borrow it and see what was going on. Billy was good at keeping my secrets.  I always felt like I was included and belonged by participating with the guys in the neighborhood ..that they felt they could talk about stuff like this around me and it be cool ...I KNOW it made ME feel cool around them to talk about sex, and I think it made them feel cool to know a chick who didn't think they were a bunch of pervs when they talked about it.  However they never talked about jerking themselves off to them, which was underlying but unspoken.

So, I got the video from Billy on a Thursday and it was called Where the Boys Arent....but I forget which volume as I know there are several. I skipped school the next day and as soon as my mom wa out the door  at about 8:00am and I was alone.  I smoked a bowl from my tiny little bong and soon I was putting the tape in to ready it for play, then getting my vib out of the special hiding place at the top of my closet hidden in a monopoly game box, a game I knew would never be played again so it was the perfect hiding place LOL. In my nightgown I sat in the living room recliner and watched patiently the previews and warnings before the movie started. I certainly had seen lesbian scenes and threesomes in the porn movies I had seen before...and they excited me ..but today I knew was going to be different...so different I had hardly slept the night before knowing that I was going to spend the day with the LESBIAN tape, my vib, and on a quest I felt to set some kind of continuous climax record. I planned to devote a whole day to masturbating.

Now, with my vib, A plain white battery operated multiple speed 6 incher with some ridges...vary vanilla...even  though I hadn't had it long, I had already overused it to the point to where my labia tingled with a numbness sometimes upon first touch and after a 2nd or 3rd orgasm would convince me that I had had enough, the tingle was still there for minutes ..sometimes half an hour after the event. But for this day, I had not come in about a week ...and I was convinced that my personal record of making myself come 6 times in a night was only the ceiling because I had fear of getting heard and therefore caught ...on this day I knew that I could moan if I wanted ...and I wanted...and that there would be a seventh time..and and eigth ..and gawd only knew how many times it would happen...but then, unlike now, at that time in my life I would count my orgasms ...categorize them ..and know them intimately.  Each orgasm. today was the day that I was going to get self screwed like I had never before been screwed ..and it was me who would do the screwing with the help of Where The Boys Arent.


The first orgasm belongs to the fingers. sitting on the recliner stretched out with a towel down to catch the overflow, the women were at each other quickly and I was at myself as quickly ....I was so ready but didn't realize how ready I was as I climaxed when the first woman, the natural breasted brunette, was doing to the silicone blonde. They had kissed and stroked and grinded...and when the brunette began to suck the blondes left breast, I was right on my way to what became the ultimate day of self pleasure I always look back on with such fondness.


By days end I had watched the complete video three times over ...took a break to smoke a bowl and eat a hearty lunch and take a bath which soothed my already slightly sore vagina before diving back in to the video and into myself.  I came on the recliner almost all of the times, but for an hour I laid on the floor and did myself in the laying face downward position I have come to prefer. It seems cliche to write this because of how obvious it sounds...but that day I just came over and over and over ...and over and over ...21 total times.  Each time I rested I remember considering if I was stopping or not...asking myself "am I done yet," knowing I could get one more because the sight and repeated sight of the first lesbian porn video I would see ( certainly not the last) kept me interested and every time I considered giving it up it was like I couldn't stop ..did not want to ..going on and doing it again, The memory of it is hazy but there was one particular scene I kept going back to because the build up to orgasm and the letting go was so REAL to me that I would rewind and see it again and again. 
After about the 12th orgasm I would think that this might be all I can get, but my body ...my pussy ...begged to differ.  I was glad that kept going each time because when I reached the pinnacle, it seemed even more satisfying than the one before.. You know I was mostly numb in the afternoon...but never really sore sore ..a little sore but pleasure overcame that ...and I can relate to how a marathon runner must feel when on that day I just kept going and going with determination to the end of the day.

The images were soooooooooooo vivid. Sounds and sights of coming, sucking, ..making out and making love. wetness ..licking ... beautiful breasts of all sizes ...adorable eyes and fantastic beautiful hair. and the first time I ever saw..and saw many times in that video ..CLOSE UPS OF GIVING HEAD where I could put myself right there between the actress's legs :) Closeups of the actress's achieving orgasm.  Closeups of so many varous ways to pleasure another woman.  I had yet to have a lesbian experience, but on this day I could almost feel it.


By the way ... this is a real story....I DO sometimes I admit I fantasize, fictionalize and stretch some truths on this blog ...but this story is one of my favorite sexual memories ..and aside from the beautiful women in the video who joined me in fantasy, it was me and only me...oh and my vibe ...ok...don't laugh but at the time I had named it "Jimmy." (for that day it should have been "Jenny.")



The soreness DID set in that night and the next day and even the day after there were remnants ....but it all went along with the glowing memory I had. I have never come close to duplicating the feat...I have come around a dozen times with a boyfriend who was GOOD once...never that many times with myself. Only that one day when I was discovering who I was and what turned me on and what I could do with those feelings.

SO ...for me...21 times in one day..inspired by the first lesbian video I ever saw. I DO realize in context how unbelievable that seems to some ,but it is true and a true testament to HOW inspired I was that day.  These days a good one or two is plenty enough...and in the right circumstances, a good half a dozen doesn't seem like quite enough LOL.  So I ask,what is the most for you and what inspired it ?

akiss2desire@gmail.com

And the award for playing yourself as a lesbian goes to ????

ellens girlfriend portia de rossi is going to play a lesbian on nip tuck ...known for enough racy scenes anyway...hoping for something hotter than the 3 way story line of a year ago anyway.

i dont know if she will win an emmy or an obvious award

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