Who Am I ? akiss2desire is a Bible Belt Blogging Bi Big Beautiful Babe who has been sharing her writing, mostly 1st person lesbian erotica, short stories, poetry, and lesbian pop culture realizations from both the experience and fantasy perspectives to an ever growing audience. I recently passed a million page views ! Thanks for the nominations for the Lezzie awards honoring best lesbian erotica on the web.

Those who have come here regularly know that I have taken a bit of a hiatus from posting and publishing, but my past work is still here and if you are new here there is much to be consumed. I am working on several stories right now and writing from the same mix of experience and fantasy that readers have told me they loved.

Those stories will be the foundation of my upcoming compilation book. Today, you get to read for free. Welcome, and I hope you stay awhile.

Thursday

My Lesbian Desire for You Remains So Strong

A Love Note To Her and sooo inspired by her:

My desire for you remains so strong. It is so close I can feel it about to happen with us. You have stirred something in me that I havent really felt with a "crush" ...strong feelings of wanting to be made love to. I mean ..usually, I am just wanting soooo badly ti give pleasure, that it is not on my mind much to be concerened with my pleasure...and lately I am just dying to know what it feels like when I give you pleaure, but also, what it will be like when you give me the first tender touches with your fingers and your mouth. I will be so extra excited knowing it is your first time ...my hand gently in your hair perhaps ...or reaching for a breast / a nipple to caress as you kiss me there. Gawed as I write this my nipples are just so stiff ...I aching down there for your fingers and I am swollen in such desire of your fingers and tongues attention. I dont know how you are when you get very very horny ..but...I am taking shorter breaths and its just hard to think sort of ..very lightheaded ..almost like after a couple of drinks ya know ..so wet and wanting to be with you.

I want to get to that moment when my open mouth is just inches from your lovely object of my desire... ...knowing we are about to experience this first touch together. By this point I have felt your wetness with my fingertips ..felt your squirm and increased your desire by showering your breasts with attention. I can see it and smell its gentle fragrance...I lower my head so slowly for the first kiss and touch of the tip of my tongue to your sweet spot. I kiss an open mouth kiss there and lower to your lips and let my soft moan escape FINALLY here . feel your push against me softly as I go down lower, gently insert my toungue and use my thumb and finger to spread your lips so I can penetrate deeper....up and down and then in circular motion, just soft kisses...nothing designed yet to elicit the shudder from you thats coming when I fatten my tongue and lick inside your lips back up to your clit where I give you a dozen or so of my very rapid come inducing strokes to preview what you will know from me later. What I want from you in this moment is to KNOW that I HAVE you...cause if I don't yet, I am going to try harder to find the spot or the push or the tempo or the flick of my tongue at just the right pressure with just the right motion that gets the moan or the gasp or the grunt that tells me I have broke through the sex talk and the nerves of our first time to get to the bottom of your entire body's center of pleasure found with my fingers mouth and tongue buried with all the love I can give against your juicy swollen and aching vagina. We will both know when we are there together. Hold my hand or put a hand against my shoulder or my hair ...lay back and relax and know that its not gonna end until I have sucked every morsel of pent up lesbian desire from your long waiting for my passion place of pleasure. COming and coming again ...I will know when to stop and breathe and let you breathe...and when to slow down ..but only long enough to let the tingles subside until you are ready for my gusto again. Baby, let this go on...it is what gives me pleaure the most..dont take it from me...not til you cant take it anymore...and THEN ..even then, let me have some more. Let me do you like this, then you can suck me with your mouth ..knowing how very wet it made me ...covering your lips and cheeks with my flow ...let me drench you with my desire ..take your time to know me and learn me and I will help you along the way, probably not with words, but with a language the women making love know and that comes so easily and naturally that we will wonder why society keeps this ultimate pinnacle of mutal pleasure in the dark.

If you dont know baby how much I want you at this moment, I am going to go upstairs and lay on the bed ...on my stomach on top of a pillow and grinding against a "bug" vibrator...im going to pretend to hold you and swallow your body gently while warming and maybe even freeing your soul. Open your legs to me and let me devour you completely.

I think I THINK / HOPE I have found my lesbian lover ...not who I wrote about before.

She found me on myspace. Thinks are happening fast. We are exchanging emails daily ..and she lives close enough and with patience ...I just hope. It will be her first time :) I am soooo excited.

I can't share all that we have exchanged for it is so personal ..but here is a bit of a letter I sent her yesterday.

Now I would say that of course I like to come ...you would not believe the most times i orgasmed in one day once. It was alot..but I was like trying to set a record or something ha ha. It was the day I skipped school and was lent my first all lesbian VHS tape. I did myself allllll day long for real. I would say that if we hook up, my coming is NOT my priority...YOUR pleasure is. However...and this is weird...I have daydreamed about you going down on me ALOT since your pictures...that is an unusual daydream for me cause I am usually fanasizing about giving head and making out. (did i tell you yet that I get off on giving head ????) Making me come is not going to be difficult...so dont worry. It wont take much more than your fingers or your thigh...but I DO crave a warm loving tongue if you are willing?
You aked me what its like to be with a woman...while there is some truth to the "home team advantage" that girls just know what girls like ...its not automatically the best techniques. Believe it or not, men have given me the best head..not my 3 gf's. But, I will say..i think I exhausted all 3 before they got to me LOL :) It may be tha women know more what NOT to do...there arent any of those "what is he thinking" moments. ANd.. women KNOW how to give pleasure to the breasts TEN TIMES more than men. The last woman I was with was obsessed with my boobs..and I LOVED the attention. She would not..could not stop loving on them long enough for me to love on her...until I did...for hours :)

Oh gawd..I love to give head...feeling her reactions to each touch of my fingers and my tongue and lips...doing every imaginable pace and pressure and swirl and lick while gently fingering or sometimes swiftly fingering or concentrating on that sweet sweet spot inside. Oh I love the wet spot I create with the love in my tongue. I like to turn around...almost like a 69...but not with my pussy on her mouth...but where she can finger me...not finger me furiously...but just gently keeping me "interested"....while I work her lips and clit form upside down. I have always gotten the supreme compliments ....and while I thnk everyone is different..I DO think I give good head...and it helps to love what you do. The times I have been with women have not been quickies...they have been marathons ..where you are having sex for a 4th and 5th hour (or more) and wonder where the time went...like you just started..and you want more. I wrote about my times before and saved it...so here is what I said:

"Ive been with 3 women sexually.....was with the first one 3 times before we had a falling out ...that was when I was 18 ....I was 21 the next time and 4 years ago the last time (i am 30) ...and each of those two were just one time things that apparently meant alot more to me than it did to the women I was with. I would have to say that even though there are moments in each of these encounters that are unforgettable to me...But...that I still haven't well...maybe you will understand if I say ..I haven't really done it right yet!! Not the way I probably wish it would go ..but you don't get everything you wish for do you ...and I think alot of that comes from, of course, how your partner feels about what you are doing and what she is feeling.

I think what I realize ...and goes for dealings with me too ..is that something really wonderful sex does not equal feelings, emotions, passion and affection. I think I am someone who is most comfortable sexually giving ...like ..giving as much pleasure as I can to her (or him ) ....I usually want to / like to give til i can't give anymore --that is what really make ME feel it ...what turns me on ya know ? But in my experiences with women ...after I gave alot ...I think whatever I wanted back ...and I am not sure how to describe what I wanted back ...but it wasnt always there. I do know this...my sexual cravings for women are so strong. For years it hasn't been , or rarely has been, narrowed down to a single woman ...just the woman I connect with whenever. As I have moved into this stage of my life, I have memories of being obsessed by a boy or a man where all I would think about was HIS touch and what HE would do with me. I definitely thought of my first female lover that way ...only dreaming of her for many months before we actually hooked up. But now..it has been a broader, wanting of intimacy and it seems day to day, if not moment to moment about who I might want that with ...what her characteristics are like ... or how she might react to me. "

Ok...NOW...it IS narrowed down to one woman..YOU. I cant believe the emotions in only a week of emails (no i wont fall in love..i KNOW what I am getting into with you) I know if I dont do soemthing to screw this up or do soemthing or be something to make you dislike me, that I am going to give all of myself to you in bed. ALL of myself. You are beautiful to me. I cant wait for the first time we touch. I cant wait to know what its like when you come. :)

Friday

Lindsay Lohan Lesbian Trysts revealed


Lindsay Lohan has been outed by a former bodyguard according to what I have been reading... and I say ..gosh she is beautiful ..I don't care how messed up she is.
Lee Weaver worked for Lohan for a couple of years and has a tell all book coming up.

In cluded are Lohan's "alleged" interest in women. Weaver told Britain's News of The World newspaper, "She used boys for drugs and girls for thrills. I lost count of the women she took back to her hotel room from clubs."

Weaver also says Lohan came on to Mariah Carey: "I saw her try to grope Mariah Carey's bottom and boobs one night as they danced. One time I went to look for her in a club bathroom and found her in the corner French kissing a girl."

Lesbian Obsessions of a Small Town Bisexual Mom


I used to flirt with women but always hold back enough in case they were like most here and homophobic or the other thing is just not be interested but tell eveyrone in town what a lez I am

I used to flirt mostly with my eyes
try to steal a touch

recently ... a girl who KNOWS my husband and I don't really have sex asked me if I was getting any from any hot guys and I answered her no guys ..no girls...nobody ...I thought that was putting it out there ...thats a big step for a small town bi mom -- nothing came of it


in my teens i did it...came right out and on to someone and ...she turned me down and I was bascially sure she wouldnt...so I was devestated and haven't been able to do the coming out since...not til it feels realllly right.. I lost my friend..and...although I have figured out she didn't tell EVRYONE we knew..I have always tried to figure out who if anyone she DID tell


for that night..I rehearsed pretty much all of it and poured my whole heart out to her ...and was SURE that we would be sleeping together that night...but...she listened to all I had to say...it shook her up you could tell..then she said that she was sorry and that she "wasn't that way" she said something like her grandma was watching from heaven and she could never do that ...you have to respect that some people are just repulsed by hommosexuality ... I seriously misjudged her.

i am my own worst enemy for the relationship I crave ...i know i want it but it seems that i keep putting obstacles in front of me. so many that its like I wanna make it difficult to happen, although i want it soo much. That doesn't make sense does it??

when I am say...by myself and im thinking about this subject..laying in bed..closing my eyes...concentrating on building my orgasm....the fantasy I have is not really about what she does to me and what I do to her....MOST of the fantasy is about how it happens and how it STARTS

does she want too? or does she not.. the thought that i turn on another woman is the most..THE MOST erotic thought in the world ..and those precious times was the most erotic reality.

the electricity when you first touch her and she is wet and wanting

the need to give a gentle, appreciative, certain probably unmet someone all that i have to give.. is sooo strong

the desire grows stronger every day....im a mess in many ways because im so lesbian sexually obsessed...more every day it seems...i KNOW its wrong..but i also cannot help it ..I KNOW all this is about so much more than sex ...more than orgasm .. affection and appreciation and our tender mutual moments. Oh..but how I know I would trade even that for just the touch ...right now, even for just a kiss of the tender tongued woman of my constant dreams

Thursday

Joss Stone is um.... lesbian... I will say normal


The headline I saw was that Joss Stone, the captivating singer, is thinking of changing teams ... because a relationship with a man soured. CHANGING TEAMS ..that really was the expression. I have also heard that such and such wouldn't ask out such and such because "she wasn't swinging her bat for the blue team," etc. So ..thats how it goes. Anyway...here is the link to the Joss Stone article with a beauitful picture that insures she will get many many offers if she is looking for a "team mate," myself included.


In the article it says "Joss told Britain's The Times magazine: "I think I'll have to turn lesbian.

"Every girl my age wants to be in a relationship. I haven't had one in two years and look how that ended. I only wish I had something to tell the gossip columnists."

Monday

I am not a "lesbian virgin"

I was asked about my experience with women ..actual experience as opposed to lesbian fantasy. I also can assure you that the "first time" story is coming soon...I want it to be right..it takes some time for something that personal.

Ive been with 3 women sexually.....was with the first one 3 times before we had a falling out ...that was when I was 18 ....I was 21 the next time and 4 years ago the last time...and each of those were just one time things that apparently meant alot more to me than it did to the women I was with. I would have to say that even though there are moments in each of these encounters that are unforgettable to me...But...that I still haven't well...maybe you will understand if I say ..I haven't really done it right yet!! Not the way I probably wish it would go ..but you don't get everything you wish for do you ...and I think alot of that comes from, of course, how your partner feels about what you are doing and what she is feeling. I think what I realize ...and goes for dealings with me too ..is that something really wonderful sex does not equal feelings, emotions, passion and affection. I think I am someone who is most comfortable sexually giving ...like ..giving as much pleasure as I can to her (or him ) ....I usually want to / like to give til i can't give anymore --that is what really make ME feel it ...what turns me on ya know ? But in my experiences with women ...after I gave alot ...I think whatever I wanted back ...and I am not sure how to describe what I wanted back ...but it wasnt always there. I do know this...my sexual cravings for women are so strong. For years it hasn't been , or rarely has been, narrowed down to a single woman ...just the woman I connect with whenever. As I have moved into this stage of my life, I have memories of being obsessed by a boy or a man where all I would think about was HIS touch and what HE would do with me. I definitely thought of my first female lover that way ...only dreaming of her for many months before we actually hooked up. But now..it has been a broader, wanting of intimacy and it seems day to day, if not moment to moment about who I might want that with ...what her characteristics are like ... or how she might react to me.

Wednesday

Six Lesbian Love Songs



1) Jill Sobule: I Kissed a Girl
2)Melissa Etheridge: Come to My Window
3)The Indigo Girls: Power of Two
4) Sophie B. Hawkins: Damn, I wish I was your Lover
5) k.d. lang: Constant Craving
6) Joan Armatrading: The Weakness in Me


Lesbian DVDs To Buy & Share

I dream of her desire for me as I desire her.


My lesbian libido has gone crazy ...I am thinking about many women, thinking about her, seriously losing sleep at night and concentration by day. I usually find one or two things to think about, but for the last week I have been thinking about having her on top of me while I lay on my back and passively and passionately give all of myself to her. I have dreamed about the usual "giving her head and hand til she cries for me to stop." I am running through at equal intervals every moment I have actually hand as well as every kiss, fondle, touch and caress I have ever dreamed about. My mind is on overload. I crave a kiss and a knowing and loving affectionate touch. I dream of her desire for me as I desire her. When it doesnt tingle I can concentrate on something....when I let it go there are quakes and aftershocks and want for more and something real. Its almost too much...this constant state of lesbian arousal. Chatting isnt enough, the porn I have downloaded is erotic but with all the fake boobs and contrived moans ...I have a hard time letting myelf really go there....but eventually I have to let it go...and I do.

Tuesday

My Lesbian Crush on Denise is growing stronger

I came to the office today wearing a low cut v neck t under a sleeveless jeans dress that shows my cleavage as much as is acceptable in our work environment. My blue eyeshadow leaning a little more toward the Friday night shade then the Tuesday morning. I am still in confortable shoes and wearing my white "grandma" underwear (i almost never wear a thong) ....but for waking up just 10 minutes early today I think I got the most from my mirror time, and from the sound of the compliment I got in the office from one of the guys who said "I am ready to go drinking with you right now and it's not even 10:00 am," I feel like I got the look that would give me the best shot and getting picked up in a bar BEFORE last call ....that is if I were still the kind of girl that went to bars like that. LOL

It's not for the men who noticed I dressed up.

It's for Denise...and today is one of the days she is in the office where I work for a brief period ..and as busy as I get ..and she gets...we might not have a chance to talk hardly at all. But I have been thinking about her constantly since I last saw her Friday ... running through my mind the things we have said and the looks we have exchanged and wondered if there is a chance for her and I to be something.

I am not fantasizing about our time in bed, if it gets to that...I keep thinking over and over how I can find out IF she is interested...and how I might be a little more , shall we say, agressive, than I have ever been in making that a possibility. I have never been one to make much of any overture to a woman in person ...which is why I have had so MUCH desire with so LITTLE actual F2F experience. Should I try an obviously sexual touch, a direct comment, a note, a barrage of double entendre ... or a continuation of the snails pace "wonder if that was something or not" flirtations that have gotten me thinking about her so much. OR ..A phone call ...which I wrote about on my blog.

And now that I have thought about her so much, and written about her so much, and helped to crystalize my fantasies ...in fact....Denise has become more than a fantasy over the past few days..I won't call it an obsession ..but my desire for her has me planning, and maybe even setting being with her enough of a goal that I realize I might be dissapointed if the romance were to fizzle. For right now though...the MAIN thing is to find out if their is even the POSSIBILITY of something ..I just have to be sure.

And in the course of now writing about her and thinking about her a little more focused and a little less in the fuzzy , masturbatory state that had been the character of my imagination .... I realize that I like her a little bit more than i thought I did. I was in a state of distancing myself from her in case of inevitable turning down of my affections ... but I am realizing more and more that for maybe only the second time in my life, my general "lesbian" wants and needs are now focused more on an individual, than in the abstract.

So ...I am dressed for her, I am have perfumed for her and each time I walk throught he lobby I steal a gaze toward the parking lot to see she has arrived yet.

I guess there have been three moments the past two weeks that have me believing I can take another step with a little confidence ...that maybe just maybe she wants something to happen too. Each in and of it's own..probably nothing...but there is , firstly, the way that she is making eye contact with me like nobody does when we are talking. There is work talk, and that's just that ....and at those times of talking about work, I feel like she is trying to "learn" all I know and even wanting a bit to trade places with me...it feels a bit like admiration..which is very nice of course....but with anything personal in conversation ...about my son, my family, my personal time, and it's like she just tunes me in ....it's even almost like she sees my hurt and wants to fix it. See..I kinda know that look ..because that is the way I am to others ...and what everyone says about me ....but I can't remember thinking I had found a spark of that something in someone else that has been what has long lurked inside of me.

Next is the way she is turning almost every conversation we have that is just the two of us into some kind of sexual innuendo or remark. She isnt the first person to say to me "I'll try anything once," but you can add to it ..lets see ..." I bought those plates at walmart because the fruit on them reminded me of sex for some reason....(laughs) dont ask me why cause I couldnt tell you but I am buying china and getting horny." Then there was the several references to getting laid ..which led to what she said last Friday, standing in the doorway of my office ..she said something that made me laugh nearly hysterically ...telling me "someones jeans were so tight you could see her twat" ..and I cant remember thinking how funny that word was and I busted out laughing so hard at just the way she said it and the way she looked when she did, so I said back to her "oh how you can always make me laugh.I love your sense of humor" and she said back "well maybe it will help me get laid sometime." And I thought.."now was that for me?????" did she mean me??? or just in general ..hmmm"

Then I have run over and over this moment we had ....we have an oversize stapler that sits at my desk...and two weeks ago she was changing the staples in it..its old so its not always easy ...and to do it she was bending over ...leaning forward and towards me and I didnt see all the way to her nipples..but most of the rest of her breasts were there and soft, smooth, and inviting to me. She isn't largely endowed...but at that moment they were hanging beautifully and my jaw dropped open ...I felt a zing go through my body and when she looked up in frustration from the task at hand she DEFINITELY noticed and sort of gasped ...then quickly and modestly ...but as if to not be making a big deal of it ...covered herself up. Since then there have been two times when it at least felt like she was "trying" to see if I would notice her if she bent over or leaned forward. ...and by the way...the answer is yes. But in both of these instances ...we made no eye contact ..and it could have been accidental...however it felt so accidental and unplanned that it seemed purposeful ..if that makes sense.

SO ..its definitely POSSIBLY in my imagination...I need more proof right ? ANd I am soooo shy as that I have only made one offline , in person pass at a woman that I was unsure of whether or not she was interested..and she turned me down...however politely ..it is still one of the most hurtful things that ever happened to me. I will write about her sometime.

So today in my jeans dress ...hoping she will notice ...and I ..well endowed...am planning on making a damn fool of myself if I get the opportunity. Today I would have about pulled a tit out to say "notice this ?" if I had had the chance LOL.

I have the hugest crush on her....can you tell by reading this ? Well...she noticed me ..and I am feeling ever more confident in making some kind of move. We had avoided any contact in conversation in the two hours she had been there..its just a busy time...but before she left..she walked by my office...I was in conversation with someone..our eyes met..I even felt my nipples get hard, which is not a common reaction for me ...and she walked on..she was waiting..perhaps in just a friendly way, not a sexual way mind you I know, to get to me one on one. That moment arrived and she popped her head in the door.

I jumped like a schoolgirl..."hey Denise..I have missed you so much....havent had a minute to even say hi."

"Well you look great....that really works for you...."

"Thank you....Denise ( i giggled) I did it all for you you know !"

"I dont believe that for a minute."

"...... well...theres alot I'd do for you ...if only you'd ask" I said as I leaned to the back and to the left in my chair to scratch an imaginary itch for no other reason but to show as much of my cleavage as her eyes would drink in ....I felt a bit of a shiver as I realized that I was being about as bold as I ever get ....pulling moves on a woman I have only before used on men. Down I looked at the floor and then up towards her eyes to see if she noticed...she did, based on the nervous fidget and staring at the floor ..then back at me with a smile. A moment of silence before I asked..."are you back here tomorrow?" ....."no..not til Friday"

"Well...Think good things about me til then Denise"

"I always do Brenda"

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