Who Am I ? akiss2desire is a Bible Belt Blogging Bi Big Beautiful Babe who has been sharing her writing, mostly 1st person lesbian erotica, short stories, poetry, and lesbian pop culture realizations from both the experience and fantasy perspectives to an ever growing audience. I recently passed a million page views ! Thanks for the nominations for the Lezzie awards honoring best lesbian erotica on the web.

Those who have come here regularly know that I have taken a bit of a hiatus from posting and publishing, but my past work is still here and if you are new here there is much to be consumed. I am working on several stories right now and writing from the same mix of experience and fantasy that readers have told me they loved.

Those stories will be the foundation of my upcoming compilation book. Today, you get to read for free. Welcome, and I hope you stay awhile.


The First Time I Masturbated - My Lover The Pillow Jim

A very sweet friend emailed me about how this group we are in has so many subjects ...it IS called but it is called Women Masturbating Together, so I thought I would share how my first time happened...a bit accidentally...and maybe you can have a laugh at my story, or share your own.

And I clarify...masturbating to orgasm...not the times I tickled it in the tub and thought...thats pretty good.

I started very young ....I was in fifth grade...eys 11 years old...i know..too young ...and my boobs were starting to bud, which I liked alot ...was extremely fascinated by them , and even though I understood that sex involved a penis and vagina, and I was being told about my "changing body" and soon I would be having periods etc...I definitely had some WRONG ideas about making love and sex. I can look back and know I didn't quite realize what the vagina was really for ...and I thought that "making love" was mostly when a boy did lots and lots and lots to your breasts (which was the thing that felt the best to my up til then limited knowledge.

I remember distinctly that the love of my life was Jim..oooh how I had such puppy love for him and wanted to be his wife. You know how you think all that when you are that age. At night when I would pretend to be his wife ...my pillow represented Jim, and I would completely make out with this pillow ..and laugh when I remember either me being on top or "him" being on top. But .."Jim" the pillow, just loved my boobs and touched them, fondled them, squeezed them and I even had minor success with "Jims" (MY) mouth just making my breasts ache with desire and my nipples stiff with delight. Girls, I had heard the word "orgasm" and "coming" and was mistakenly sure that coming was that wonderful achey and defiinitel wet feeling when your breasts had been so wonderfully stimulated..which is what I was sure "Jim," the pillow was going to do to them when I let him...which of course I had full plans to do, as his future wife of course. LOL I probably would have described an orgasm as simply "when you get wet." I would have been right of course, but wrong in that I was leaving out some other details :)

Well that night, with the pillow on top of me, and me not being able to hold him tight enough, somehow knowing his penis would be put in my vagina after all the boob stuff, I put the pillow against me with pressure. It felt so good of course..that it happened again and again..feeling better and better. Well...at some point the "making out with Jim" part of whatever I was doing went "poof" and I found myself laying back and just taking that pillow and rubbing myself with it. Over and over..never felt anything like it of course...so good. My first orgasm swelled to a SHUDDER/SHOCK of complete, all over my body numbness and tingles..and at that moment I STOPPED doing what I was doing with the pillow. WOW. "What was THAT!" Felt like I was going to die...thus the "little death" analogy so common.

It took what i remember as a few minutes for me to have the courage to start with the pillow...but now it felt very different...tooo sensitive to really do that anymore. I did realize that what I had had was an orgasm....and for the whole next day at school could not wait to get back to the pillow. The next night was without panties ...a practice that soon began to leave me sore enough from doing myself that I could not do it every night....every other night perhaps.

Foreplay with the pillow for the next few "sessions" was limited ....I quickly went straight for the pillow rub...and learned about increasing speed for more pleasure...and within a few weeks I started having more, what I would call real ..adult orgasms...by "keeping going" when the full body tingle began...I did not stop and learned the "wow" of that.

In those days when I did it every other day...oh the anticipation while in school of knowing that tonight was going to be one of "those nights." I even found a way to position a pencil against my crotch under my desk, and looking back, cannot believe a teacher never noticed what I was obviously doing.

I had my first period within a month of that first time, and I don't exactly remember but it was probably 6 months that my method involved that pillow...til a friend on the bus opened the first masturbation girls talk, (what we did before there was an internet) with, out of about a dozen girls, maybe 4 of us who "had done it,' the rest just listening and learning. My friend Pam who had been doing it, convinced me I was doing it wrong, and told me how to use baby oil to wetten it and use your hands. I only needed the baby oil the first two times...after that it was my own fingers on my clit and the slight penetration inside myself to deliver the plenty of moisture my body was providing.

Since then, there of course have been many techniques and of course tools...vibs and the spicket and gawd sometimes anything you could rub up against. There are no more Jim's ...only Janes :)

"To thine ownself be true"


Terri said...

My first 'Lover' was Teddy Bear, he was just the right soft furry texture I needed to give mr the most pleasure. I had played around for months touching myself after bath time but would stop when I got the pee feeling in case I wet the bed. this night I was rolling around on top of Teddy and got the urge to pee but I knew I didn't need to go, I had been before I got in bed so I carried on humping. As the feeling got stronger and stronger I couldn't stop and the damn burst leaving me exhausted, sweaty and hot but oh so happy

Advizor said...

This is kind of scary, only because my daughter is 12, and so sweet and innocent, that I really don't want her thinking about this stuff yet.

However, a couple of months ago my daughter found my wife's vibrator, a long wand-shaped unit with a baseball sized head, doesn't look anything like a penis (Thank goodness).

We've always left it out but claimed that it was for "mom's sore back", well, that didn't fly, and soon my little girl had turned it on and was sitting on the head. My wife about died from embarrassment and laughter.

She said, "Wow, that kind of tickles' but had no idea what would have happened next. I think. I hope.

Dave said...

Lovely descriptions, thank you for sharing.

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